Home Fries

The greatest suspense in this dunderheaded romantic comedy comes from trying to guess what Drew Barrymore will do next. Will she smile and bite her lip? Or will she bite her lip, then smile?

Yes, director Dean Pariscot's debut reduces Barrymore to a near-parody of her sunny coquettishness. Here she waddles about as a pregnant fast-food joint worker whose middle-aged, married lover mysteriously dies. Shortly after, she crosses paths with the man's stepsons, one of whom wants to kiss her (Luke Wilson) and one of whom wants to kill her (Vanilla Ice look-alike Jake Busey).

Written by head X-Files scribe Vince Gilligan, Home Fries congeals into a pointless and predictable exercise in inanity. The Texas-set story exults in boot-slappin', suspender-snappin' stereotypes; meanwhile, the two boys vie for the affections of their mother (a shrewish Catherine O'Hara) like psychotic Smothers Brothers. Only Daryl Mitchell as a high-strung burger flipper cooks up any laughs. Otherwise, Home Fries inflicts some serious cinematic indigestion. At the Harbour Mall, Showcase, Starcase and Woonsocket cinemas.

-- Alicia Potter