Unsinkable Molly (continued)

Q: I read an interview you did last summer where you said, "I’m in the happy position of having predicted a short, easy war followed by the peace from hell, and so far I’m looking like a genius." Do you still feel that way?

A: Yeah. I mean, there’s still nobody more annoying than someone who goes, "I told you so." But yeah. And what’s really sad about that is that I’m not an expert on the Middle East. I mean, you didn’t have to be a genius to see that one coming.

Q: But you’ve said that Bush isn’t stupid.

A: Yeah, I don’t think he’s actively stupid. I’m not claiming that he’s the brightest porch light on the block or anything, but no, he’s not dumb.

Q: You’ve said that he’s "limited."

A: Limited. Real limited. He doesn’t read much, he doesn’t know much, he’s not very curious. There’s a special form of provincialism that afflicts Texans, and I’m afraid Bush is one victim of it. It’s partly because the state is so big and we have such an exaggerated sense of ourselves that we tend to see Texas as the center of the universe. Now, you know that provincialism, I believe, is a universal characteristic. It exists everywhere. But it can be particularly troubling in a center of power, and that, of course, is what Bush is now.

Q: You’re coming to Boston for the DNC.

A: Indeed I am. Looking forward to it.

Q: What do you think it’s most important that the Democrats accomplish at the convention?

A: Well, to the extent that conventions anymore are sort of pep rallies, I do think it counts if people come out of a convention with a real sense that they want to go work their asses off to get their team elected. Kerry is not exactly an electrifying candidate, so it’ll be interesting to see if he can bring it off.

Q: Will you vote for Kerry?

A: Yeah. Yeah.

Q: Because he’s the lesser of two evils, or because you think he’d make a good president?

A: Well, I sure think he’s better than Bush, and actually I think he would make a good president. But he’s definitely boring.

Q: So what do you think of his choice of John Edwards for a running mate?

A: Oh, good pick. Good pick. The only potential downside of that was if Edwards had made Kerry look even more like a boring stiff than usual, and you can see already what’s happened is that he’s loosened him up. John Kerry has made two jokes in one week. Two jokes.

Q: But were they funny?

A: Well, they were small. But they were jokes. I think this is exciting news. Stop the presses: he has a sense of humor.

Q: What do you think about Ralph Nader’s insistence on running again?

A: I’m really troubled by that. I’m afraid it’s just a straight old ego trip. If Nader really thought he was getting his issues introduced this way, it’s far from it. He’s talking less about issues than anybody else.

Q: Who do you admire most in politics right now?

A: Oh, gosh. Well, I hate to sound like everybody else, but the new guy out of Illinois is very promising, Barack Obama. There’s some other kind of really neat people around worth getting excited about, I think. Nobody seems to be quite the caliber of my late heartbreaking hero Paul Wellstone. But you know, good ones do come along in politics. They’re not all crooks.

Q: What are your predictions for November?

A: Well, I’ll tell you: this is a great and deadly secret, but I’m going to confide in you. I make money betting on politics. And one reason I do is because I am much too smart to put any money down any closer than six weeks out from an election. And anybody who does is a moron. So all of these people you see on television, all these pundits making their predictions, are bona fide, certified, chicken-fried nincompoops.

Q: If Bush wins, what will the headline of your first column after the election be?

A: I’m thinking of some fairly alarming examples. I really think another Bush term would be seriously discouraging. I guess it’s just "Get Ready To Fight."

Q: What about if Kerry wins?

A: If Kerry wins, I think we go, "Phew."

Tamara Wieder can be reached at twieder[a]phx.com