Tasting Bill's ice cream

Last week's release of a poll by Brown University's Darrell West that showed surprisingly strong support among Vo Dilun voters for Bill Bradley's presidential campaign also heralded a return to classic style for one of the Biggest Little's most quotable political figures. Joe Paolino, former Providence mayor and erstwhile ambassador to Malta, who is expected to be named state chairman for the rival Gore campaign, was asked by the BeloJo for his take on the polling results. Joe, whose metaphoric fumblings are near-legendary, did not disappoint when he told the Other Paper's Katherine "Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill" Gregg that Bradley was "The flavor of the month . . . once we have gone through that process of tasting his ice cream, we will go back to the flavor we have had for eight years that we know is substantive, progressive and experienced."

Could this be Joe's tortured description of "vanilla"? We don't know about you, but we have seldom entered a market determined to select the most "progressive" flavor of ice cream. Perhaps Joe got a taste of some "experienced" ice cream at the recent Splendor of Florence affair ("Mmmm good, 400-year-old Renaissance Ripple") and was so transported that he had to share the experience with Urinal readers.

Big men on campus

It appears that the aroma of power is going to the heads of two of Governor Bigfoot's department heads.We refer to those two larger-than-the-average-bear bureaucrats, administration director Bob Carl and Bill Ankner, head ramrod at the state Department of Transportation.

The boys have adopted the practice of propping themselves up on their Ph.Ds, no doubt to impress the great unwashed with their intellectual capacity -- about the only way they will accomplish that. Carl somehow got local TV stations to buy into this self-promotion in the past few months, winning on-air identification during taped interviews as "Dr. Robert Carl."

Meanwhile, Ankner's letter announcing a recent public hearing on the old Jamestown Bridge was signed, "William D. Ankner, Ph.D." What's that in, Bill, the theory of Macadam? Please. Guys, let us do you a favor and point out that this pompous approach is guaranteed only to piss people off, rather than gain their respect. Leave the BMOC posturing to college athletes.

Digging for the truth?

P&J hope there is more going on behind the scenes than meets the eye, but it appears that Johnson & Wales officials are reacting to the recent gay-bashing assault in downtown Providence with the speed and purpose demonstrated by O.J. Simpson in seeking his wife's killer. As we reported in this space last week, eyewitnesses described some of the 20 people involved as looking like college-age youths. Some were reported to be wearing J&W logo clothing, and many took off in the direction of the university's dorms after the attack. We aren't sure just how much J&W president John Yena is encouraging or discouraging the police in their hunt for the perpetrators. But a little more visibility and spine in looking into the possible role of his young charges in this hate crime would be welcome.

Foreplay

One of the more novel fundraisers your we have encountered will held in Jamestown this Saturday morning to benefit the newly-established Jamestown Medical Fund. The fund is designed to help local residents who are facing onerous health bills. Four two-person teams will tee off at Fort Wetherill at 8:30 a.m., and play all the way down to the Jamestown Golf Course to hole out. Given that this "hole" goes through residential neighborhoods and the business district, the possibility of chaos for a good cause will be amusingly enormous. Call Pam at 423-3204 for more info.

Time is money

Most people love the colorful Disneyesque clock on the Washington Street side of the old Shepard Building in downtown Providence, now the home of URI's School of Continuing Education, while some perpetually gloomy types hate its pastel playfulness. P&J are among the clock's fans and so, undoubtedly, is the creator of "Timewave," sculptor Robert W. Ellison of Penngrove, California. Mr. Ellison has an even better reason to love his own design, thanks to some bureaucratic bumbling in the state Department of Administration's central business office -- the state apparently overpaid the artist $23,400 for the piece.

According to Randall Rosenbaum, executive director of the Rhode Island State Council of the Arts (RISCA), Mr. Ellison's commission for the work was only in the $7000-8000 range, and most of the piece's $78,000 cost was for materials and transportation of the clock from California to Vo Dilun. Unfortunately, the central business office sent one in a series of payments to Ellison twice. After the mistake was uncovered during a recent audit, the folks at the State Council of the Arts contacted Ellison to inform him of the error.

In a September 17 communication to RISCA, Mr. Ellison claims to not have the money to immediately repay the state in full "as the funds are (currently) not in my possession." He suggests that, within the next four to six weeks he can "send a payment of $10,000" to the state, but will then only be able "to commit to a monthly payment of $300 until I am awarded and paid for another commission. At that time, I will pay a greater sum towards the balance." At the $300 per month rate, that means it will take Ellison almost another four years to pay the state back. Not surprisingly, RISCA is suggesting a more rapid repayment schedule.

Payback

We wonder how delighted President Billary's former and current staffers, some of whom face enormous legal bills due to Slick Willie's inability to tell the truth, feel when they read reports of the Prez and his politically overambitious wife buying a house for $1.7 million in Chappaqua, New York. This is the same Billary who swore he would be the first one there to help out his employees who got dragged into the mess he personally created, and will be looking to pay off Messrs. Porkya and Seeya for many years to come. the possible role of his young charges in this hate crime would be welcome.

Who's misleading who?

Note: Phillipe is an employee of the University of Rhode Island and, in following the usual policy of this column, had no input or hand in the writing of this item:

Last week's headline in the BeloJo, indicating that URI President Robert Carothers "misled" the state Board of Governors for Higher Education in providing accurate enrollment figures was, in itself, somewhat misleading. President Carothers said that he was not entirely certain of final enrollment figures at the time of the June meeting with the board, and therefore kept his estimates on the conservative side. You may choose to believe Carothers or not, but the gist of the matter is that the subject at that meeting was the allocation of state appropriations, not enrollment numbers.

Furthermore, as anyone who has a working knowledge of budgetary appropriations knows, the formula for future appropriations is largely based on past levels. One year's low allocation is used as a yardstick for future allocations. In fighting against the lower state support proposed for URI by the Almond administration, President Carothers was fully aware that, if the lower figure was accepted, it would screw the iniversity for years to come.

None of this was made explicit in the story in the Other Paper, which seems to be too eager to go along with the Almondites and the board of governor's chair, Sally Dowling, in attempting to harm Dr. Carothers' chances for reappointment as president. The real story is far more complicated and subtle than the BeloJo headline would lead readers to believe.

Kudos & congrats . . .

. . .to Ray Davey, who was recently named Providence's Poet Laureate by Mayor Bud-I. Ray has been an ubiquitous figure on the local spoken word scene for years. He was the primary organizer and coach of the Providence Poetry Slam team that won the national championship a couple of years back, and has been the driving force in including spoken word performances at many a local arts and music festival. Ray will be slinging his verse at a poetry slam scheduled for Thursday, October 7 at AS220, and Hizzoner, the mayor will be on hand to formally enshrine Mr. D as poet laureate. By the way, Plunder Dome theorists can rest easy that there won't be any scandal to uncover here. Ray tells your superior correspondents that the stipend for being poet laureate comes to a grand total of $1 a year, and he'll probably end up handing that princely sum over to one of the growing number of entrepreneurs who currently collect spare change amid the downtown landscape.

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