Law & Odor: Special Bud-I Unit

Our appreciation goes out to the BeloJo for delving into Cool, Cool World with a front-page story Tuesday about Providence's longest-serving mayor. In the middle of the Splendor of Florence (aka, the Splendor of Bud-I) celebration, the Other Paper decided to prominently display the rumor that the Bud-I is thinking about stepping down from office, purportedly because of the heat brought on by the Plunder Dome investigation. At least two "reliable" sources (downtown bartenders) had relayed the same story to P&J last week. They credited knowledgeable City Hall personnel.

We always thought that third-hand rumors were the exclusive province of Phillipe & Jorge, the Siegfried & Roy of local media, but apparently we've got competition now. While the mayor scoffs at the rumor (well, what do you expect him to do?), your superior correspondents can only imagine the Bud-I stepping down if and when dry cleaning analysis reveals the appearance of formally disavowed jacket stains. The Urinal story would seem to indicate a belief on the part of the daily's editors that there is a contingency plan if those pesky stains do, in fact, emerge. As we keep saying, only time will tell if our longest-serving mayor will be serving a little time in someplace other that City Hall.

Not a leg to stand on

At least someone at the Other Paper gets it right now and then.

Phillipe and Jorge are referring to Robert Whitcomb, editor of the BeloJo's editorial pages, who on September 20 ran a piece by Joseph Corrente, the state Department of Transportation's former chief of bridge maintenance, which confirmed what we wrote in this space a month ago: that the Jamestown Bridge is an accident waiting to happen, since it is completely structurally unsound beneath the water, a fact that was recognized as early as 1978.

The Urinal's political columnist, M. Chuckie Bakst, and the South County bureau chief, our old pal Gerry Goldstein, have recently been rhapsodizing over the bridge's future potential as a bike and hiking path. Thankfully, Corrente points out what anyone who has dived in the area already knows: there are gaping holes in the main structural supports. Since the Other Paper's reporters have bought into DOT officials' declaration that the roadbed is safe, they have not noticed that the bridge, in many places, is balanced on nothing beneath the waves. P&J have long pointed out that the old bridge is just one renegade barge away from being toppled into the new bridge.

Given such circumstances, it's reckless at best for the state to wait three more years to disassemble the old span, and the DOT's refusal to fess up about the underwater nightmare endangers public safety. In addition, the future use of the bridge has already been legally determined, since an 0.6-mile span running from the Saunderstown side of the bridge is designated to become a fishing pier when the rest is torn down.

As Corrente put it so well, "The only solution to this whole issue is to demolish the old bridge as agreed to by the state when it was given a beautiful, brand-new Jamestown-Verrazano Bridge. And for those enthusiasts with deep affection for the Erector Set appearance of the old bridge, I would suggest they visit their favorite toy store and build a model." See you at Toys R Us, Chuckie and Gerry.

LA-LA Land

A whirlwind weekend as Phillipe and Jorge visited the Left Coast for an environmental journalists' conference in Los Angeles, where we took the opportunity to lunch with Ted Danson, Pierce Brosnan, Ed Begley Jr. and Alexandra Paul (the Baywatch babe without the fake tits, for those of you who are not slaves to the David Hasselhoff cult).

The foursome was on hand to discuss Hollywood's role in the promotion of tree-hugging, although "air kisses" might be more apropos for the L.A. crowd, if Danson's greeting embrace of Brosnan was any indication. "They wouldn't get away with that in Rhode Island," remarked Peter Lord, the Urinal's ace enviro hack, who also took the journey west with P&J, upon seeing the two stars hug each other, as your superior correspondents nodded in envious assent.

At least Danson had a sense of humor about the seminar he took part in, as did Begley, who is well known for driving an electric car and riding public transportation to reduce polluting vehicle emissions. Danson, in his role as head of the American Oceans Campaign, has also visited Vo Dilun on more than one occasion to support Save the Bay. At one point, when the discussion was about whether pampered Hollywood stars can be sincerely concerned about environmental issues, Danson turned to Begley and said, "Geez, I'd like to apologize to Ed. My limo driver knocked him off his bike on the way over here."

But the topper was when Alexandra Paul discussed being arrested at a nuclear test site in Nevada. No media were on hand at the time, but the TV star assured the audience that she didn't care because, "I don't want to whore myself out." This remark, from a Baywatch star who spends 90 percent of her on-camera time in a skimpy bathing suit, left mouths agape across the room before some people simply burst out in loud laughter.

The rest of our time was spent following the infamous O.J. Simpson trail, swinging through Hollywood and Malibu, tooling down Sunset Boulevard in a convertible while screaming, "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille." Naturally, we also found time to eat at chi-chi restaurants which actually had crickets and ants on the menu. Having see too many cucurachas in our time to trust that the "crickets" weren't traveling under an assumed identity, your superior correspondents passed on the "insect" portion of California cuisine.

Get out the magnifying glass

It's always thrilling to see someone with the pedigree of a Hugh D. "Yusha" Auchincloss, toss his hat in the ring of local politics. The son of Hugh Dudley "Hughdie" Auchincloss Jr., who was the stepfather of both Jackie Kennedy Onassis and Gore Vidal, Yusha is certainly sincere in his desire to serve his community. Judging from this photo, however, it appears that he intends to run a rather casual campaign. This ad, which is running in the Newport Daily News, seems to reveal that Mr. Auchincloss has tossed more than his hat in the ring. Is Yusha "taking in the air" while relaxing with a little game of chess? The first problem he may want to solve is how to operate an airbrush on a black and white photograph. In the interim, it sure looks like Mr. Auchincloss is ready for any further parties at Belcourt Castle. Checkmate?

Wus-up in Paradise?

What is happening in the bucolic little town of North Kingstown? We all know about the Kooky World theme park set up in Saunderstown by nightclub entrepreneur Mike Kent after the town turned down his request for a building variance. Then in the last week, there was the case of the young girl being abducted in a car by a pedophile, the "death-by-baseball bat" incident at Wal-Mart, and the admission by a grammar school principal that he was gobbling Ritalin confiscated from some of his students. Next we'll be hearing that Ryan's Market in Wickford is building a casino addition. Time to check the water quality for weirdness levels.

Quote of the week

This from community activist, occasional political candidate and longtime barroom philosopher, Joe Vileno. Joe, a Casa Diablo regular, explaining to Boston Globe reporter, Greg "The Scooper" Krupa and P&J why he has never gone to the Pasta Challenge -- "Why should I? Pasta has challenged me my entire life and I always lose."

Kudos & congrats . .

. . . to Casby Harrison III, one of the Biggest Little's most prominent attorneys and one-time associate executive counsel to former governor Bruce Sundlun. Casby, a bulwark of the civil rights community, has launched his own law practice (he was formerly with Tillinghast Licht & Semenoff) that will focus on, "reaching out and providing legal service to the state's minority populations, both in the area of business law and civil litigation." Casby explains that, "My goal is to grow my practice to a size that will allow me to provide meaningful employment opportunities to young minority lawyers." Harrison, who is respected and established enough to rake in the big bucks, seems to always take the hard road. His dedication to "doing the right thing" should be an inspiration to all. Best wishes to one of Vo Dilun's real class acts, someone who continues to make a difference.

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