Join the crowd

Making an ass of yourself as a politician in Vo Dilun is a tradition, and it's good to see that the malady remains contagious. We refer, of course, to George W. Bush, that beady-eyed faux cowboy, who stood up the kids at Ella Risk School in Central Falls in favor of a $1000-a-head fund-raiser at the Providence Convention Center. Need a better reminder that kids don't vote, ladies and gentlemen?

This political gaffe is hardly surprising, since children have become political pawns for the professionals, a fact borne out by Veep Al "Two-by-four" Gore's immediate flight to CF to try to take advantage of Bush's uncompassionate conservatism. (Actually, since Gore's Democratic nemesis, Bill Bradley, hails from Crystal City, Missouri, it would have been much more fitting for him to visit the Biggest Little's own "Crystal City," a nickname Central Falls picked up years ago, either because of the large amounts of cocaine that were being peddled thereabouts or all the broken glass in the streets -- choose one, drugs or violence. (P.S., there was no truth to the rumor that the only reason W. even thought of going to CF in the first place was to cop some blow. He can get it from Linc Chafee any time he needs it.)

If Gore's stunt didn't reek of blatant insincerity and one-upsmanship, it may have been fairly effective. But considering that Al Gore is about as spontaneous as a giant sequoia, it came across as shallow and strictly an exercise for the media and political insider types. Perhaps that's why what was described here as the greatest mistake since Daddy Bush's gushing about the futuristic qualities of a bar code reader at the supermarket got virtually no play nationwide, other than a bemused account tucked inside the New York Times, which noted the Biggest Little's whopping four electoral votes.

A way with words

P&J loved the story about the Kickemuit Village elderly complex in the September 9 Urinal, in which residents are complaining about their second-story windows being too high to see out of, or to properly open and shut. "It's always been a standing complaint," commented Ann Pare, the astute director of the authority overseeing the complex , who no doubt gets up on tiptoes herself to obtain a good view.

Similarly, we enjoyed the preview of ABC's 20/20 in the September 13 issue of the BeloJo, where we learned that, "The newsmagazine's season premiere looks at youngsters who leave home because their own sexual orientation is unacceptable to their parents, and they're ordered out." Jeez, Mom and Dad, make up your minds.

A man for all seasons

Thanks to Ira Magaziner's work in getting classes changed to pass/fail, even towering geniuses like Phillipe were capable of graduating in the early '70s from our Little Towne's contribution to the Ivy League. Other Brown alums of that era may have also encountered a much-admired history professor named John Gable. One of our all-time favorite academics, the owlish Gable left Brown a in the mid-'70s to become executive director of the Theodore Roosevelt Association, a post that he still retains.

So it was that Gable recently went for the daily double, not just appearing at length in a PBS TV special on TR last week, but showing up, in of all places, ESPN The Magazine, talking about the famous sporting president. John Gable being cited in ESPN is the rough equivalent of P&J being quoted in Scientific American, but our boy came through with the sort of lavish performance that earned him his current employ. "You might even say that Teddy Roosevelt saved football," crowed Dr. John, never one to shy away from praising his idol.

Cool Moose ice state law

On August 25, the First Circuit Court in Boston affirmed a decision by the US District Court here in Providence, which stated that political parties have the right to decide for themselves whether members of other political parties may vote in that party's primary. Currently, Vo Dilun law does not permit members of one party to vote in another party's primary. The decision on Cool Moose Party v. Rhode Island Board of Elections, was handed down by Judge Kermit Lipez, co-signed by Judges Norman Stahl and Frank Magill, and is based on the First Amendment's freedom of association clause. This renders the state law unconstitutional.

In the original case, brought last year by the Head Moose, Bob Healey, it was also argued that the Cool Moose Party should have the right to nominate by convention. While the First Circuit refused to rule on this point, the more critical point for Vo Dilun voters is the cross-primary vote issue in which the nascent third party emerged victorious.

Congrats to Healey for opening up the process. We can't wait to see what M. Chuckie Bakst, avowed enemy of anything that challenges the hegemony of the two major parties, will have to say about this.

Longest serving

In just a few more days, the Bud-I will become our Little Towne's longest serving mayor. He will be celebrating in traditional Cianci style with, what else, a fund-raiser. The Friends of Cianci have the Biltmore ballroom booked for the evening of September 22 for a $125-a-person fund-raiser. Thousands of tickets are out there, and in classic Bud-I style, the information listed on the tickets includes the description of "seller's name." This little innovation, compiling data on who sold how many tickets for the mayor, is, to our knowledge, unique to the Bud-I operation.

Cognizant of all the positive changes he has wrought and the energy and spirit he has brought to the city, we congratulate Vincent A. on these singular achievements. But while all this is going on, the storm clouds of Plunder Dome continue to swirl over city hall and its prime tenant. Whispers abound that the city's former director of administration, Frank Corrente, is wearing out stenographers over at the US Attorney's office, and now that the grand jury squeeze is on the Bud-I's current No. 2, Art Coloian, the denouement of this whole drama seems to be getting closer. Will the mayor's proclamation of modest dry cleaning bills hold up, or come the year 2000, will we be seeing an oddly familiar new "official greeter" at Nordstrom? The Biggest Little is holding its collective breath.

Dept. of clarification

In last week's "Cool, Cool World," an item supportive of URI President Robert Carothers ran in which we compared him favorably to RIC President, John Nazarian. The Phoenix received a call from RIC's spokeswoman, Clare Eckert, who, quite naturally, disagreed with our critical estimation of Dr. Nazarian. She also pointed out that there could be a conflict of interest here, since Phillipe works for the University of Rhode Island.

Clare is right that this has the appearance of a conflict, but the item about Dr. Carothers was written entirely by Jorge with no input from Phillipe. This has been the Casa Diablo policy on the rare occasion when there is a potential conflict of interest. For instance, Jorge frequently works in radio and, when that is the case, he will not write about issues pertaining to the radio business. We realize that, because we don't indicate who penned which item, this can cause confusion. The above has been our standard policy for years and will continue to be.

RIP

The legendary Moondog (aka Louis Hardin), passed away in Munster, Germany, last Wednesday at the age of 83. From the late 1940s to the early '70s, Moondog was a fixture at 54th Street and Avenue of the Americas in New York City. Dressed in a homemade robe, cape and horned Viking helmet, the blind street musician was, in the words his biographer, Dr. Robert Scotto, "without question, the most famous street person of his time." P&J had his Columbia album from the late '60s. It contained music of rare grace and beauty. If you can find it, get it. For those who treasure the unconventional, the transcendent and the true artist, Moondog will be remembered and cherished.

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