Whither/wither Quonset Point?

Those of you who pay attention to deadlines may have noticed that the Bankruptcy Boys of Quonset Point Partners were due to submit answers to the state's questions about their sieve-like, preposterous and hypocritical port proposal by last Friday. However, EDC attorney Rob Stolzman evidently granted QPP a one week extension, ostensibly because The Missing Linc was off at a conference, and his boss, John "What Clean Water Act?" Swen, was on vacation, and neither would have been able to look at what will no doubt be a celebration of sophistry and half-truths.

The good news is that if this is the case, and no one believes the Bankruptcy Boys can come close to meeting the state's expectations, the conniving carpetbaggers will be terminated (well, at least their contract will be, but while we've got the singing sword out why not go for economies of scale?). This would make it feasible for the state to do something intelligent -- go back to create a master plan for QP/Davisville with the type of public participation it needed from the get-go. Governor Bigfoot, however, has indicated he's now in love with a plan to turn over Davisville to non-water uses. The idea of Pfizer moving there gives him a woodie bigger than anything the chemical company's No.1 seller, Viagra, could induce.

The other interesting and ironic rumor we have heard regarding the Bankruptcy Boys is that their intrepid flack, Dave Preston, is not getting paid. Geez, Dave, we hope you don't end up realizing you sold your soul for a few pieces of gold, only to find out they are just pieces of stale chocolate inside foil. Maybe you can share them with Captain Blowhard.

Ostrich time

The most mindless quote of the week surely came from Janet Mariani, spokeswoman for the United Way of Southeastern New England, who, when explaining why U-Way continues to support the Boy Scouts -- despite their anti-gay policies -- said, "We're not moral arbiters." Well, all we can say, Janet, is bullshit.

Maybe former United Way honcho Doug Ashby proved that moral point when he used the agency's staff to do work for the fledgling business he was starting upon his resignation from office. But the highly talented and widely respected people who P&J have worked with at U-Way, like Jane Nugent, Allan Stein and Richard Asinof, surely aren't toiling to assist intolerant or bigoted organizations like the current Boy Scouts. And we are sure that people who donate to the United Way have a certain tacit faith that the bucks won't be going to the Ku Klux Klan, despite their creative use of household linen and other quirks.

A tip of the sombrero also to M. Chuckie Bakst of the Urinal, who went straight to the Other Paper's publisher, Howard Sutton, to press him about why the BeloJo was supporting bigots, and may have put a monkey wrench in future donations until the BSA cleans up its act. The same might be requested of not only the now professedly amoral United Way, but the likes of the R.I. Council of Churches, led by one of the most decent men in the Biggest Little, Jim Miller, who we know grates at this. Sorry, but we won't even think about Fleet doing anything. Terry Murray downsized their moral compass division ages ago.

Vo Dilun movie notes

This week, Little Rhody almost seemed like Hollyweird East as the Rhode Island International Film Festival and the premiere of the Michael Corrente/ Farrelly Brothers film Outside Providence garnered headlines for days. In its third year, the P/RIFF event has expanded greatly from its modest roots, screening well over 200 films as nascent directors and producers prowled downtown, relentlessly networking and doubling overnight the number of cell phones in the metropolitan area.

Here are a few hastily scribbled observations from P&J's festival notebook: Veterans Auditorium, Wednesday night . . . the spirit of the Bud-I is obviously catching as festival organizers went a bit too long at Wednesday's opening film, Went to Coney Island On a Mission from God . . . Be Back By Five. The film itself features a nice performance by Trinity alum, Peter Gerety, who drags a few dozen festivalgoers over to Trinity Brewhouse after the screening to check out Chris Turner and Thom Enright . . . the festival's biggest draw was Joseph Lovett's The Accident. Not only was there a buzz about the documentary among the festivalgoers, but lots of past and present East Siders showed up to see the sometimes funny, sometimes searing portrait of one of Our Little Towne's most prominent families. Touching and courageous, this is a terrific film . . . .

Lots of Canadian entrants in the festival. What's that all about? . . . Closing night party at L'Imaj had an inadvertent Fellini theme as weirdness ruled . . . especially compelling was the actress from Massachusetts who was railing about the need for films to have "redeeming social value," as she slinked about in a dress slit up to her navel. The scoop neckline of her outfit also came in handy as she found it increasingly necessary to bend over and thrill unsuspecting fans with numerous peeks at her newly-enhanced breasts.

Monday night was the premiere of Michael Corrente's Outside Providence, based on Pete Farrelly's coming-of-age novel of a decade ago. This is Michael's best film yet and its white-punks-on-dope-in-Pawtucket mise-en-scene is certainly definitive. It reeks of Vo Dilun and includes a number of local references that will undoubtedly be lost on national audiences. For instance, what will they make of Alec Baldwin's character threatening to send his son (Shawn Hatosy) "to Socko"? And, it was really nice to see so many Trinity Rep faces in the cast. Smokey's boy, Mike Cerrone, also gives a great performance. (By the way, Jorge would like to thank the BeloJo's Michael Janusonis for placing him in the cast of the film, something that Michael Corrente neglected to do.)

After the screening, the crowd swarmed to a giant tent in the Warwick Showcase parking lot to schmooze and nibble on stuffies and pizza from Carl & Dave's, the venerable Atwells Avenue market. After that, it was back to Prov and on to Jake's Grill on Richmond Street. Your superior correspondents will be spending the next week in bed with cold compresses.

More celebrity sightings

While upstate Vo Dilun was bathing in the glow emanating from the likes of the Farrelly Brothers, Michael Corrente and Robert Downey Sr., the former Mr. Christie Brinkley was tied up dockside in Wickford this past weekend. While shunning the attention of strollers who noticed him strolling around the deck of his boat, Billy Joel was kind enough, while on a shopping excursion, to give an autograph to a young fan working in the vegetable section of Ryan's Market. He also made a trip to the meat counter, the results of which were not revealed to P&J, but we can only assume he said, "Could I have some brains, please? I'm a bit short."

The Mall vs. civil liberties

Keven McKenna, the Providence lawyer, occasional political candidate and longtime gadfly, recently provided P&J with a letter to the editor he sent to the BeloJo about three weeks ago. We suspect it will never see the light of day. The McKenna missive notes news reports stating that the Providence Place Mall, "will be closed to persons who are `homeless' and those who exercise their constitutional rights of free expression and association through petitions and handshaking."

McKenna points out that the mall is built on the former site of a prison where Thomas Dorr was held in 1844-45 for advocating the expansion of voting rights to non-property owners. It was in that same prison, in 1845, that John Gordon was hung for the murder of Amasa Sprague. When serious doubts arose about his guilt a few years later and the ugliness of the anti-Irish Catholic bigotry that marred his trial was fully revealed, capital punishment was banned.

"The rights to petition, of free expression and association are those sacred rights upon which our democracy has been built and for which many Rhode Islanders have sacrificed their lives," McKenna observes in his letter. "If citizen advocates and the [homeless] are not welcome at the Providence Place Mall," he asks in proposing a boycott, "why should we, the citizens of the State of Rhode Island welcome the mall?"

Might not Mr. McKenna have a good point here?

Kudos and congrats . . .

. . . to the Kansas Board of Education, which responded to pressure from creationists and voted to delete any reference to evolution in the state's science curriculum. It's nice that the board is obviously empathetic to the fact that they and the creationists already had a tough enough time sliding down well-waxed school hallways on their hooves and having to spend countless minutes on just their hind legs writing on blackboards. Never mind that merely by pointing out the size of their brains in relation to other humans they do raise a valid point about the evolution "theory." And Mr. Charles Darwin had the gall to ask.

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