Election conections

While Phillipe stayed home to monitor television coverage, Jorge headed out to Democratic headquarters at the Biltmore. Here's what Jorge saw:

. . . at 8 o'clock, with only media types milling around the ballroom, Jim Gillis from the Newport Daily News ribs former BeloJo reporter, Channel 6's Jim "Opie" Hummel, about "leaving journalism." Opie takes it like a man . . . Channel 6's Barbara Meagher vows revenge for when Jorge blew the whistle on her for putting extra cookies in her handbag at a charity event a few years ago . . . WRNI news reporter Martha Bebinger is very pregnant. Could give birth at any moment . . . Joe and Lianne Paolino materialize off the elevators with their oldest child, Jennifer, who has miraculously turned into a composed young lady of 14 . . . The 15th floor is "Slam Dunk Alley," where Weygand, Whitehouse and Langevin suites are all bunched together . . . Woonsocket public safety commissioner and passionate Democrat Bill Noonan informs me that Whitehouse headquarters (Presidential Suite North) is the same one that JFK stayed in when he spoke in La Prov on the eve of his 1960 election. JFK would be proud, as the Whitehouse gathering is by far the most multicultural group Jorge sees all night. All shades of humanity in Sheldon's rainbow suite . . . Longtime Democratic powerhouse Julie Michaelson, when pressed by Jorge for a weird quote, says, "I can't give you any weird quotes. I'm just not a weird guy." This is true. All the weird guys are probably at the Marriott . . . Down at Myrth Central on the 10th floor, Jorge brushes past about a half-dozen bikers heading for the elevators and grumbling, "So where are the girls?" Jim Gillis tells me that the bikers are Myrth supporters. "They like her position on health care," he reports . . . Jorge weeps for Myrth just before nabbing a Peppermint Patty from the table in her suite.

Bore more years

Catching the entire action on TV, Phillipe gives full points to Channel 6, which maintained complete election coverage beginning at 9 p.m. -- a strategy that paid off handsomely due to the "too close to call" nature of many of the races. Channel 6's Sean Daly also wins the Best Crosscheck Award for elbowing 10's Jim Taricani out of the way to buttonhole Nancy Mayer, a typical bit of Daly outrageousness which left 6 anchors Larry Estepa and Pam Watts chuckling in the studio.

Channel 10, on the other hand, should be saying "Just shoot me," as their decision to go with that NBC show and other prime-time staples killed their coverage. The JAR-heads' late arrival led to their simply repeating the news that Channel 6 had had hours before. Channel 10 also had Nicole Livas covering the newsworthy Cranston mayoral race from their studio (snore), while the station's decision to send Karin Reed to the 1025 Club to report on the equally intriguing Johnston mayoral contest was like assigning Martha Stewart to cover a Mike Tyson fight.

The only saving grace was Paul McGonagle's insightful observation from the excited Cellucci HQ in Boston that the boisterous mood of the crowd was, in large part, due to the fact that most of the supporters worked for the Cellucci administration and were pleased to have kept their jobs.

Channel 12's coverage was enhanced by letting the live shots tell the story. With Pat Mastors hosting in the field and winning the Ally McBeal Miniskirt Award (have a word with the cameraman and director, Pat, unless you're looking to emulate Sharon Stone), we could almost overlook Walter Cryan's abysmal shilling for WPRI while offering nothing to the evening's context or results.

As for the pols, the award for best goofball smile by a winner goes to Sherbet Whitebread. John "Where's the Vodka!" Holmes won the obligatory screaming-introduction derby over a game Jack "Little Big Man" Reed. In the same vein, Paul Cellucci took the prize for having the most drunks on stage with him during an acceptance speech in a runaway. But in a surprise performance, Linc Almond actually looked like he had a pulse in both his acceptance speech and post-result interviews. Still, bore more years to come.

Tom & Sally & Bill & Monica

Since last week's announcement that there is conclusive DNA evidence proving the longtime suspicion that Thomas Jefferson did father at least one child with Sally Hemings (her last son, Eston), there is plenty of irony to go around. Indeed, most historians now acknowledge that it is a fairly reasonable assumption that Jefferson carried on a lengthy affair with his slave.

Of course, this probably won't tumble Jefferson from his pedestal, but it certainly will prove problematic for numerous right-wing nutbags who have been among the chief venerators of Jeffersonian philosophy in recent years. To wit, what's the tear-and-compare between Tom and Sally and Bill and Monica?

When faced with this quandary, the William Bennetts and Gary Bauers of this world aren't likely to do the honest thing, which would be to perform their best Ralph Kramden impersonation and respond with a "hominah-hominah-hominah-hominah." No, we fully expect some entertaining arguments from these phony moralists. At the least, this revelation will bolster the Clinton argument that "it's about the performance in office, stupid."

To P&J, one of the more interesting aspects of the ongoing saga of Tom and Sally is what it reveals about certain knee-jerk attitudes among historians. For years, mainstream historians (most prominently, the Pulitzer Prize-winning Jefferson biographer, Dumas Malone) dismissed the Hemings/ Jefferson relationship, denigrating the oral history among the Hemings ancestors while heartily welcoming the oral reminiscences of Jefferson's white aristocratic relatives. What made one oral tradition more convincing to Malone and the others? A tinge of racism seems apparent.

One other thought: will House Republicans and Christian Coalition types demand that Jefferson's visage be taken off the two-dollar bill? If so, this would not at all deter Phillipe & Jorge's longtime demand for a three-dollar bill printed with a picture of James Buchanan on it.

Help for those who need it

In case you haven't noticed, while the economy has been humming along these past few years, the gap between rich and poor has been growing to such an extent that we now have a gulf wider than at any time since the beginning of this century. Folks on the wrong end of the spectrum, particularly struggling working people, should know about the Benefit Fair this Sunday from 2 to 4 p.m. at the Episcopal Cathedral of St. John on North Main Street in Providence.

There will be information tables on a variety of programs that you may be eligible for, including children's nutrition programs, heating and energy assistance, housing information, mental help services, utility discounts and legal help. The George Wiley Center tells us that there are 13,000 Rhode Island children eligible, but not enrolled, for free health insurance. Find out about help that may be available to you and make it to the Cathedral on Sunday.

Reality check

For anyone who had any doubts that television rules the world, this from the BeloJo's account of Powerball winner Edith Scrivani's movements on Sunday:

She left to visit her sister at a local nursing home, and while there, she caught the 6 o'clock news on Channel 10. "They said, 'The Powerball winner, please come forward.'
"So, at that point, I got panicky, I said, 'I gotta do something . . . you hear so many stories: They'll shoot you and kill you or something -- I'm not about to die now!'"
Not knowing what else to do, she and her relatives drove to Channel 10.

Kudos and congrats . . .

. . . to Cool Mooser Bob Healey who, in the last week of his campaign, issued a "report card" on media coverage of his candidacy. Given a complete failing grade was the Urinal, which he accused of failing to cover alternative candidates. (Take a bow, M. Chuckie.) The BeloJo responded by running a big three inches of coverage of the report card on the bottom of page B-5 on October 25. As we say at Casa D., "That proves it."

. . . to Pablo Rodriguez, medical director of Planned Parenthood, for his compelling op-ed piece, "Doctor in a bulletproof vest," in the October 28 edition of the New York Times. Written in the aftermath of the murder of Dr. Bernard Slepian, a New York gynecologist, the piece should be mandatory reading for those anti-abortion folks who believe that these acts are anything less than the acts of terrorism in the Middle East.

. . . to our newest best friend, Big Red, who attended the University of Southern California with Frank Gifford. While Gifford was pathetically telling Larry King that his cheating on wife Kathie Lee had made their marriage stronger, Big Red revealed that Frankie is a first-class creep who left his first wife after she made the mistake of contracting multiple sclerosis. A real stand-by-your-woman type of guy, that Gifford.

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