Loose talk

Last week, your superior correspondents heard this disclaimer on a Channel 6 News report: "We warn you, some of the pictures you are about to see may be graphic." So, in the spirit of Channel 6, we would like to caution our readers that "some of the words you are about to read may be verbal."

. . . Phillipe & Jorge have been informed that the excerpt of an interview with Madonna in the Hungarian magazine Blikk that ran in our September 17th column is actually a work of fiction by the estimable Garry Trudeau. What's more, Time magazine published the piece more than a year ago. We should have suspected this, because it was just too hilarious to be the real thing. On the other hand, its entertainment value was undeniable and we apologize for not giving Trudeau credit.

. . . Our colleague Pam Steager sends along this quote gleaned from a 60 Minutes interview in 1987 with Kenneth Starr: "Public media should not contain explicit or implied descriptions of sex acts. Our society should be purged of the perverts who provide the media with pornographic material while pretending it has some redeeming social value under the public's `right to know.' " Ms. Steager further points out that had the Supreme Court not struck down the Communications Decency Act, passed as part of the omnibus Telecommunications Reform Act in 1996, anyone posting the Starr report to the Web might have been liable for a fine of $250,000 and a jail sentence of five years.

. . . While perusing the annual promotional material for the Rhode Island Philharmonic's upcoming season, P&J recalled a brief discussion we had last year with jazz saxophonist and all-around music lover Kirk Feather about political correctness. He pointed out the name of one of the Philharmonic's sponsored programs -- "the Happy White Family Concert Series." Now, while there is a perfectly reasonable explanation (the series is sponsored by Taco and the John Hazen White family and named after Mrs. Hazen White), we still can't help but think that this is a somewhat regrettable moniker. And considering that symphony orchestras everywhere are trying to reach out to the larger community and struggling to avoid being stereotyped as entertainment for rich white people, P&J look forward to the day when we will have enough scratch to sponsor our own "Disgruntled Minority Community Concert Series."

Brain dead

There's nothing to boost one's sense of pride in the denizens of the Biggest Little than to see it noted in USA Today that only four in 10 Vo Dilunders can name our US senators or general treasurer. One third of the state's moron majority is capable of telling you who our US reps are, no doubt due to the visibility of a token Kennedy, but only 25 percent can name the lieutenant governor or secretary of state. (If true, that's actually a compliment to Bernie Jackvony, who never ran for his office, and a bit of a letdown for the extremely ambitious Jim Langevin.)

Given these shameful statistics, P&J believe it's time we started investing in education here in Little Rhody, and we call on Governor Garrahy and other party stalwarts, such as Secretary of State Susan Farmer and General Treasurer Ant-knee Solomon, to support this effort. We know that we can count on senators John O. Pastore and Theodore Francis Green to do their part at the national level.

Zippy in the White House

Is there anyone, anyone, in the country who makes your skin crawl more readily than Bill Clinton when he pulls his lip-biting, poor, poor pitiful me routine for the public? Even a five-year-old would show more restraint in trying to conjure up sympathy, which is about the maturity level that Billary has been displaying since he admitted to being in the room when Monica Lewinsky was having sex with whoever is attached to his johnson. (To the strains of "Detachable Penis," if you buy Slick Willie's logic.)

Nowhere is this utter self-absorption more blatant than in his interview with Trude Feldman of the Washington Post, where he actually tried to commandeer the sentiments of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement -- a pretty brash and absolutely shameless act for a Southern Baptist. Feldman reports, "President Clinton said he is yearning to make amends for his personal transgressions in a way `that will redeem me.' "

Note the "me" there, folks. The whole interview is "me" and "I," with no thought for the American people, who are having some trouble feeling Billary's pain these days. P&J very much liked the take the Manchester Guardian Weekly had on his recent torturing of the English language in full-fledged denial when it wrote, "[Clinton] could say that he wishes to spare his country the agonies and indignities of drawing this grotesque tragi-comedy out any further [and resign] . . . The other solution open to Mr. Clinton is for him once and for all to abandon his pinhead sophistry about what constitutes sexual relations."

Eat the rich

The New York Times made a nice catch on the release of the United Nations Human Development Report, pointing out the unconscionable and immoral differences between the rich and poor in the world. The Times brought it home in real, day-to-day imagery. For instance, how about the fact that the richest fifth of the world's people consumes 86 percent of all goods and services in the world, with the lowest fifth fattening up on just 1.3 percent?

In all, the richest fifth -- and you can bet there are a slew of fat Americans among them -- consume 45 percent of all meat and fish. Special sauce, anyone?

But let's up the ante. The world's richest 225 individuals, of whom 60 are Americans, have a combined wealth equal to the annual income of the poorest 47 percent of the world's population. Let them eat cake.

Matters of opinion and perspective

Last week, Phoenix news editor Jody Ericson filed a story about the Myrth York campaign in which she evinced the opinion that Casa Diablo's favored gubernatorial candidate has been distancing herself from her liberal base, resulting in many of her more ardent supporters from the '94 campaign becoming lukewarm in their support this time around. Phillipe and Jorge must respectfully disagree with this analysis.

There is, of course, an inherent problem in gauging the level of one's support for a certain candidate. Naturally, issue-oriented political activists are certain to be a mite disappointed when their specific issues are not being addressed as forcefully as they'd like to see. But those interviewed for the article all continue to support Ms. York. And although we are seeing different faces involved in Myrth's campaign, we don't think it's quite as stark as the Marti Rosenberg-vs.-Joe Paolino tableau that was raised.

Our reading is that the York campaign has far more to do with pragmatic politics than any sort of major philosophical shift in thinking. Myrth lost by a whisker in '94, and if she's to win this year, especially now that Almond has all the advantages of incumbency, her challenge is to craft a message and a presentation that will attract voters who did not support her last time around.

P&J see the differences in Myrth's campaign as a reflection of an attempt to appeal to those voters she will need to win rather than a backing away from her liberal allies. We don't believe that her shift in emphasis to critical issues like jobs and education is indicative of anything other than a hard-headed strategy on what it takes to win. This is "big tent" politics, and we believe it's smart politics.

Those who would question Myrth's commitment to those social issues she has a history of championing should ask themselves this: who is the candidate more likely to listen to diverse voices in the Vo Dilun community, especially those voices that are seldom heard or listened to in the halls of government? Which of the candidates do you feel has more energy and conscience? Who among the candidates has a record of, and has revealed a passion for, issues of equity and justice for all?

The fact is that elections are not litmus tests but choices between individual candidates. Phillipe and Jorge believe that the candidate who best represents our concerns and has the talent and commitment to follow through is Myrth York. She is the only candidate to even discuss the fact that, despite the supposed "booming economy," the gap between the rich and everybody else has, in fact, broadened. We remain convinced that Myrth York is the candidate who best understands and is best equipped to deal with these issues.

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