Like a virgin

Why, oh why, ask Phillipe and Jorge, are those nasty brutes at the Senate Judiciary Committee giving that poor, sweet young thing, Sally Dowling, such a hard time in her confirmation hearing to become chairwoman of the Board of Governors of Higher Education?

Surely, it must be vengeful politics, say those defenders of Ms. Dowling and Governor Bigfoot, who made the appointment. But let P&J offer up another scenario, however farfetched. Could it be that our august solons on the Judiciary Committee noticed that Dowling served as legal counsel and policy advisor to disgraced former governor Ed "Gerber Baby" DiPrete, who has been accused of racketeering and receiving bribes during his term in office?

No doubt, our gal Sal was taking lunch during the numerous occasions these events allegedly took place. And of course, we wouldn't expect that in such low-ranking positions as legal counsel and policy advisor, Dowling would have known what was going on inside the Gerb's administration.

Or could it be that Ms. Dowling, a partner in the law firm of Addit, Porkem and Seeya, just happens to be a defendant in the DEPCO lawsuit, and is being sued by the state for her firm's role in the 1991 banking crisis? Maybe Dowling should consult Hillary Clinton's Whitewater testimony to prove her complete detachment from these shenanigans as well.

P&J also love the fact that Dowling doesn't believe in on-the-job training. Although she has never sat on the Board of Governors, she wants to come aboard as chairwoman. No doubt, she is completely up to speed on all the complex issues of Higher Ed and much more qualified than those who have wrestled with the state's significant problems in those arenas for years.

As she had the audacity to tell the Judiciary Committee when asked if she was interested in serving the public on the board in any role other than chairwoman, "I could best serve as chairwoman." Yes, and P&J could best serve as publishers of the Phoenix -- or perhaps directors of the next DreamWorks multi-million-dollar movie. But unfortunately, it don't work that way. Siddown, Sally.

Millionaires with wet bottoms

P&J were delighted to receive an invitation to the public commissioning of the Spirit of Rhode Island, an America's Cup class yacht used by the venerable New York Yacht Club/Young America racing syndicate as a testing and training boat for its other America's Cup yacht, Young America.

We were equally impressed that inside the invite was an opportunity to donate to the NYCC/Young America syndicate, at a beginning level of $50. And with the suggestion that we might go as high as $1000, we were urged to "imagine once again hosting the America's Cup in Rhode Island!"

This spine-tingling sentiment was backed by the assurance that having the Cup back in Newport would provide an unprecedented economic windfall for the Biggest Little, an assertion backed by the endorsement of Governor Bigfoot; Economic Development Corporation ramrod John Swen, whose appreciation for the sailing on Narragansett Bay was evident in his EDC proposal to fill a section of it the size of Newport Harbor at Quonset Point; and our old friend Alan "Can the workers, I need my raise" Hassenfeld. That proves it, as the saying goes.

Legendary sportswriter Red Smith once dubbed the America's Cup set "millionaires with wet bottoms." Indeed, P&J find it hard to believe that the moneyed elite of the New York Yacht Club and the sunburnt toffs at Young America have the gall to beg for money in this fashion. What's the matter, boys, did the price of Jaguars go up and the wife decide she needed a mink now that PETA has cooled off the protests?

Sure, let us tear up that check to the Campaign to Eliminate Childhood Poverty and write one out to the millionaires with wet bottoms -- and, it appears, no conscience. Hello, sailor.

Home movies

By almost any measure, last week's first Newport International Film Festival was a roaring success. Key to what appears to be a bright future for this event was not the number of attendees so much as the quality of films entered and (this must not be underestimated) the fact that visiting filmmakers, artists, and movie industry people had an enjoyable time here in the Biggest Little.

Word travels quickly among the film community, and the good vibe that seemed contagious in Newport throughout the event will be duly noted. What's more, the high quality of films submitted should beget more high-quality films.

The festival's executive director, Chris Schomer, told your superior correspondents that the feedback she'd received had been overwhelmingly positive. "Whit Stillman [writer/producer/director of Metropolitan and the current Last Days of Disco] was having such a great time that he stayed an extra day," she said. Schomer added that Indywire, an influential Web site dedicated to independent film news, had the festival as its lead story.

While the organizers were pleased with how smoothly the event ran, they did say that they planned to make some adjustments in some of the nuts-and-bolts areas, such as ticket handling and merchandising.

Phillipe & Jorge, along with a brace of other Providence Phoenix folk (arts writers Bill and Johnette Rodriguez, news editor Jody Ericson) caught much of the festival, coming away with positive impressions indeed. Especially exciting from the Casa Diablo perspective was the fact that Anima, written and directed by Jamestown filmmaker Craig Richardson, was awarded best American feature film by a jury of film professionals. (Conspiracy-minded Vo Dilunduhs should note that only one of the eight-member panel had local ties -- the ever-scrupulous and fair-minded Michael Fink of the RISD film faculty -- and that he wasn't even part of the sub-group that made the "Best US Film" selection).

It is also gratifying that the crew responsible for Anima was almost entirely home-grown. With all the hubbub of Hollywood productions filming in the state in the last few years, it appears somewhat of a secret that there is a flock of in-state tech staffers who operate on a world-class level. The visual beauty of Anima is a testament to that, especially to the great work of the film's art director, Bonita Flanders. Kudos to Craig, who also garnered the Claiborne Pell Award for Original Vision.

Speaking of Senator Pell, it was nice to see him out and about at the closing-night clambake blowout. Also present was bona fide film nut Senator Jack Reed, who makes a cameo appearance in the promotional trailer shown before festival screenings. Sounding more like Johnny Depp than our junior US senator, Jack claimed to Phillipe & Jorge that his best stuff for the promo film ended up on the cutting room floor.

Emergency measures

Phillipe & Jorge are not exactly professional historians, but when we recall what we know about the Marshall Plan, devised to get a suffering Europe back on its feet after the ravages of World War II, we don't remember Italy, France, or Belgium putting in emergency requests for hairdressing gel or manicure supplies. We mention this in light of a recent request made by the government of Iraq to the United Nations Trade Sanctions Committee.

As you know, since the end of the Gulf War, Iraq has been living under sanctions imposed by the UN. And according to the actions imposed by the international organization, the country is only allowed food, medicine, and "essential humanitarian items." While shortages in these areas continue to plague the people of that region, the sanctions committee received an emergency request from the Iraqi government at the beginning of this year for permission to purchase 25 rowing machines. Now the Iraqi government is asking the committee to make another exception to the rules in order to receive four liposuction machines from a German company.

It should be only a matter of weeks before the Iraqi government amends their latest request to include the airlifting of collagen and Viagra to the suffering masses. Maybe they could tack on something about bolstering the current UN weapons inspection team by adding Mr. Blackwell and Jose Eber as members of the monitoring unit.

Saddam's priorities might not make sense to the rest of the world, but perhaps we here in Vo Dilun (where traffic court Judge Lallo can file for bankruptcy, claiming "bad real estate deals," and continue to spend more time at the blackjack tables at Foxwoods than he does on the bench) have a more understanding view of things.

Update

A few weeks back, Phillipe & Jorge noted the plight of veteran peace activist Phillip Berrigan, who had been denied family prison visitations by federal prison authorities for what your superior correspondents perceived to be capricious or vindictive reasons. We suggested here that US Senator Jack Reed's office look into the situation, and we are pleased to report that the senator did make inquiries and that Berrigan is slated to receive a visit from his wife on June 13.

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