Hanging together

Hats off, as is so often the case, to Red Alert! for targeting legislation submitted by our favorite second-rate goon, state Representative Vinny "Family Man" Mesolella. In yet another attempt to hijack power, Family Man is proposing to give the geniuses at Halitosis Hall the right to veto any state agency regulations that displease them (read: cut off their flow of backhanders and political favors).

Even worse, the fact that Vinny the Greaser's bill actually made it out of the House Judiciary Committee is testament to the groveling required by the House leadership, among whom Mesolella is a true goodfella. As Red Alert was so kind to point out, the representatives donning the kneepads for House Speaker Pucky Harwood, George of the Jungle Caruolo, and Family Man on this occasion were profiles in courage Marsha Carpenter, Robert Flaherty, Joanne Giannini, Donald Lally, Joseph McNamara, Harold "Amazin" Metts, William Murphy, and Peter Palumbo -- the real crème de la crème, eh?

Thanks to these eight, who took time to pry their noses out of Pucky and Jungle Boy's nether regions to cast their votes for the bill, we the great unwashed will have a chance to see just how many of our other august Smith Hillbillies will go into the tank for their leaders when the bill goes to the floor for a vote -- one that we hope will be covered live by all three local TV stations, local radio, and the usual ink-stained wretches.

It also might be nice if teachers took their classes to the State House that day, to find out why the kids with any smarts will be moving out of state before the ink is dry on their high-school diploma. (Of course, the ones who don't get their diploma will get an up-close-and-personal look at their future profession at the State House.)

After Vinny's recent antics, including draining Echo Lake, it's a wonder he can get anyone to back a bill he submits, never mind this current travesty. But since he has found a collection of stooges to back him thus far, it's time to concentrate on blowing this bill away.

Indeed, while P&J regularly applaud the valiant efforts of such groups as Common Cause, Operation Clean Government, ACCESS/RI, and Red Alert! in their pursuit of clean and open government, we think it is time for them to tighten their focus and dump this legislation into Mesolella's Fields Point sludge pit, where it belongs. It's hang together or hang separately, gang.

Attorney General Assembly

As usual, the Bud-I got it right at the announcement of Bill Guglietta's campaign for attorney general last week when he said, "He's not exactly a household name now."

Unfortunately for Guglietta, the people who do know him -- and will attempt to sell his name to voters -- are the likes of Speaker Pucky Harwood, House Majority Leader George Caruolo, and House Finance Committee chairman Tony Pires. (Guess Charlie Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Timothy McVeigh, whose endorsements would have been equally compelling, couldn't make it to Guglietta's kick-off press conference.) This is what we people who aren't political consultants but play them on TV call a liability.

As counsel to the House Finance Committee, Guglietta comes to this guilt by association with the public-be-damned, screw-the-would-be-reformers-crowd, whose other political favorite sons include representatives "Walking Eagle" Kennedy and Family Man Mesolella. Of course, Guglietta's work behind the scenes with Pires, who has more power over the budget than Governor Bigfoot, is generally regarded as top quality. Still, his visibility level is indeed that of Comet Kohoutek.

This is especially a problem when your opponent is Eva Mancuso, a pursuer of vehicles with flashing lights who advertises her personal injury services on TV at an appearance rate akin to that of the Spice Girls. And never mind if Sherbet Whitebread hits the decks a-runnin in May.

While the perks of being an insider on Smith Hill may be substantial in terms of schmoozing at the Capital Grille and Capriccio, Guglietta might do well to talk about the kind of open-government-oriented decision-making he has been privy to in his role at the side of the House leadership.

We also will be interested in hearing Guglietta's take on the conflict that exists in politicians sitting on state agencies and on why some of his leading supporters are trying to subvert any reform of this practice. Perhaps it's better with the low profile after all, Bill.

Goodbye, Dalai

It always moves Phillipe & Jorge's hearts when we see great waves of sensitivity oozing forth from the corporate world. The most recent folks to expose their touchy-feely side are those cyberworld rebels at Apple Computers who let it be known last week that they planned to yank one element of their international advertising campaign so as not to offend.

The ad campaign has featured images of cultural icons associated with revolutionary thoughts and actions (Muhammad Ali, Mohandas Gandhi, Pablo Picasso, Amelia Earhart, Miles Davis, etc.) coupled with the simple motto "Think different." Well, not too different, it turns out.

Seems that one of their poster boys is the Dalai Lama, someone whose unique thoughts and actions don't sit well with the government of China. "Where there are political sensitivities, we do not want to offend anyone. We needed to decide on images that were appropriate across the region," said Sue Sara, spokeswoman for Apple's Asia Pacific division.

And, of course, the Chinese government is still very sensitive about the Dalai Lama -- even though it has been nearly 40 years since they invaded his country of Tibet, leveling monasteries, driving out monks, and virtually wiping out an ancient culture. The spiritual leader of Tibet, the Dalai Lama has been living in exile since 1959, continuing to agitate for Tibetan autonomy through non-violent means and winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989 for his efforts.

So, while the symbolic use of the Dalai Lama's image as an underdog taking on the establishment works really well in the western world (where he's really not an underdog and gets to hang around with Richard Gere), in the east (where he truly is an underdog taking on the all-too-real power and might of the Chinese government) the folks at Apple have deemed Goliath's feelings valid and worth pandering to. We wouldn't want a sense of truth and justice to impede our chances in the huge potential marketplace that is China now, would we?

The most revealing part of all this has been Apple's attempts to control the spin on why the Dalai Lama's image has been removed from the Asian ad campaign. At first, the corporation claimed (in the South China Morning Post newspaper) that Apple wanted to use images of people "more recognizable in the region." Yeah, and people in the east recognize Amelia Earhart more readily than the Dalai Lama?

Realizing the astonishing lameness of this reply, the company now says, "The Dalai Lama really stands for our message in the United States. But in China, he may not get across the message Apple is trying to send."

Rough translation: In the US, being a rebel is a great marketing tool because it doesn't really have any economic repercussions. But in China, where a repressive regime with blood on its hands and a track record of violently quashing any dissent or independent behavior is fully in control, being a rebel has real consequences, and that means money for Apple. So goodbye, Dalai.

License to abuse

As your superior correspondents continue to follow the BeloJo's series on the Administrative Adjudication Court (kudos to Rowland and Saltzman), we can't help but wonder who in power Robert Halpin has photographs of in compromising positions.

Halpin is the deputy administrator/clerk who in 1989, after a traffic confrontation on a Pawtucket street in which he was inconvenienced for a few nano-seconds, had a truck driver's license improperly suspended, threatening the poor man's livelihood. Then, in 1997 it was discovered that Halpin had been using state computers and staff to work on his own private legal practice. And although he was reprimanded and removed from his position as a division chief, Halpin magically bounced back into a lesser position with fewer responsibilities and (surprise, surprise) the same paycheck.

Now, in Sunday's article we find Halpin giving shit to the parents of John Longiaru at an AAC Medical Advisory Board meeting because "the politicians got involved" in looking into why Longiaru's license was suspended after a particularly mindless snafu concerning the fact that Longiaru had learned to drive a car with hand controls because he was in a wheelchair.

When will the state look into what Halpin apparently sees as his state license to abuse? If changes are to be made, this guy ought to be the first weasel to go.

Special service

Our favorite "jockular" sports inanity of the week came on a Fox Sports News broadcast of the Internazionale-versus-Roma Italian League soccer match. Sometime during the game, overexcited announcer Peter Bradford blurted out, "Ronaldo is imploring Cauet to service him now!" That's a howler, even if you understand stilted soccer-ese.

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