Undercurrents

While it was refreshing to see that our old buddy, former lieutenant governor "Little Richit" Licht was contemplating throwing his Grecian Formula into ring in the race for the Democratic gubernatorial nomination, this reveals a rather unpleasant undercurrent. While we are certain that the eminently capable Little Richit is, as he asserts, indeed being urged to run against Myrth York for the right to challenge Governor Bigfoot in November, the signal P&J get is that rank-and-file Dem party leaders are once again quietly bailing out on Peppermint Patty, and looking for any white male who can totter around on his hind legs.

Despite the fact that House Majority Leader "George of the Jungle" Caruolo has pledged to be more visible and active in promoting York's candidacy, Phillipe and Jorge aren't so sure that will cut it privately or publicly, especially if he ends up getting out of politics. His mere presence in Myrth's corner has prompted people to mention to your superior correspondents that she is selling out to the goon squad at Halitosis Hall -- a suggestion we don't buy for a second. Given the way Peppermint Patty has been undercut in the past by powerful fellow Democrats, compromises will have to be made; but, we trust Myrth to still maintain the high standards and commitment to open government ethics that make her our candidate of choice. We hope Little Richit will consider that at this point his candidacy would only serve to hurt the better instincts and initiatives of the party which he has previously served so well.

They doth protest too much

All you need to know about the validity of the recent Brown University and ACCESS/RI town-by-town open records survey is the reaction of East Greenwich chief Lawrence Campion, head of the Rhode Island Police Chiefs Association, over results that showed the majority of police forces not only withhold information that the public is legally entitled to, they are generally uncooperative and at times abusive in dealing with the great unwashed. Reacting to the report, Campion said, "The police chiefs are furious" (not, of course, at their colleagues who came across so horribly). He went on to say that the report is inaccurate. But who are you going to believe -- the parties whose dirty laundry has been publicly aired, or your lying eyes?

P&J's litmus test has always been that those who squawk the loudest when confronted by the public usually have the most to hide, especially if the information, however well-documented, is described as being false. Sorry, Larry, your boys are yelling a little too loud for our liking. Be a man about it -- which includes good manners.

The BeloJo blows it

Your superior correspondents have been wondering what has became of the long-rumored BeloJo series on the office of the Attorney General. For something that hasn't seen print yet, it has certainly caused an incredible amount of speculation and rumor. It has been whispered about that this story has played into everything from Jeff Pine's abrupt and dramatic announcement that he would not seek another term to the tragic suicide of prosecutor Michael Burns. While we don't buy into this thinking (in fact, P&J believe that Pine's claim that he wishes to make more money is indeed the primary reason that he pulled out of the race), there is one curious aspect of the Other Paper vs. the AG's office that should be noted.

The current issue of the Columbia Journalism Review spanks the BeloJo with a dart in its "Darts and Laurels" column for the poor taste exhibited in printing a letter to the editor from Arthur D'Amario III on December 26, under the headline, "Better Off Without Burns." In the letter, D'Amario claimed that he had been framed in court by Michael Burns. The letter appeared just one month after the prosecutor committed suicide.

We find it hard to believe that the BeloJo was unaware of Mr. D'Amario's long history of filing questionable lawsuits. And it goes without saying that the printing of this letter did little to convince those people who believe that the daily paper is "out to get" the AG's office that their motivations are otherwise. P&J also understand that there was a letter sent to the Other Paper by the AG's office in a response to D'Amario's letter, written by General Pine almost immediately after D'Amario's letter was published. The Other Paper apparently sat on the AG's letter for a few days and, eventually, General Pine chose to rescind it. Curious stuff, indeed.

We got confused by the hat!

It's rare that P&J's Phoenix deadline isn't our number one priority, but this week as we go to print we are just snuggling into the sofa in the Boom Boom Room and waiting to watch God's announcement of his arrival on earth. As we informed you in this space two weeks ago, operating on information provided by Heng-Ming Chen of God's Salvation Church in Garland, Texas, God will be carried live worldwide on Channel 18 at 10 a.m. on March 25.

God's Salvation Church is the very admirable,largely Taiwanese sect which dresses in white cowboy hats and white clothing, that is just waiting to be carried off to the promised land by the Big Sir sometime in the very near future.

We offer kudos to CNN for offering a rare bit of deadpan humor in covering this story last week. As they showed shots of Chen outside his Dallas home, two youngsters wearing the obligatory white Stetsons and sweatsuit garb ran into the picture and stood on either side of Chen. "He has claimed to have discovered the reincarnations of Buddha and Jesus," the reporter gravely intoned, before adding after an especially pregnant pause, "Jesus is the one on the left."

Our friend Flicka

Certainly anyone who loves opera will be in attendance this Monday evening at Veterans Memorial Auditorium when one of the great voices in all of music, Frederica von Stade, performs at a special benefit show. But, even if you're not an opera buff, you will want to check out this concert. It may just turn you into one.

Ms. von Stade's appearance is largely the result of her friendship with Beavertail Productions head ramrod Tom Lawlor. Lawlor was a mainstay for many years with the legendary D'Oyly Carte company. His marriage to a Vo Dilun lass brought him to the Biggest Little a few years back and, in that time, his first-rate productions have greatly enriched the local musical landscape. We suggest that you scurry on down to the Vets for this show, which promises to be one of the musical highlights of the year in Rhode Island.

Bombast triumphs again

Those who seek evidence of the continuing degradation of western culture have a strong argument when using the Oscar-winning "Best Song" as a touchstone. Once again, the Academy has honored a bombastic, overwrought ballad, "My Heart Will Go On," from the equally bombastic and overwrought film, Titanic. Undoubtedly, this song will be remembered with a fondness rivaling the immortal ballad "I'm Easy" by Keith "Brother of Kung Fu" Carradine. Whatever happened to "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah," "Buttons and Bows" and other past winners that one could actually hum in the shower? P&J eagerly await an unholy collaboration between Yanni and Michael Bolton in 1999 - a sure winner.

Kudos and congrats . . .

. . . to the gang at the statehouse for their rally last week celebrating the fabulous Rhody Rams men's basketball team. P&J caught this unbelievable spectacle on the cable access and it was, without a doubt, one of the great comedy performances of the year. The estimable Rep. Paul Crowley's (D-Newport) spirited mangling of the URI fight song (Paul is a State U. grad) was certainly a high point. But your superior correspondents were particularly thrilled with veteran South Kingstown legislator Leona Kelley's congratulatory messages to "Cato" Mobley, "Tyler" Wheeler and Coach "Haddock." We're sure this hilarious performance served to loosen up the team.

. . . to Boris Yeltsin, for firing his entire cabinet and including his prime minister and longtime ally, Viktor Chernomyrdin, and replacing him with the 35-year-old neophyte, Sergei Kiriyenko. This oughta go a long way to convince outsiders that the Russian president isn't drinking. Unfortunately, Yeltsin is a few centuries late on this amazing power move, as Bill Shakespeare is no longer around to write about it.

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