Bad deal

Aren't WLNE's Pam Watts and Larry Estepa just the most precious things you've ever seen as they cuddle up close for this TV ad? Unfortunately, some people prefer their anchor people to be a bit more like Dan Rather and Leslie Stahl than Regis and Cathy Lee.

Phillipe and Jorge are longtime pals of Watts and Estepa, and we respect and admire them as newscasters and for their sincere community involvement. As a result, we can laugh off this type of cutesy promo, knowing there's a bit more substance behind the glitz. However, we worry about what Channel 6's aggressively inane promotions are doing to our friends' reputations here in Our Little Towne.

Included in this dumbing-down process is the recent "survey" WLNE undertook to boost their ratings...oops, make that "to get viewer feedback." Participants were asked to watch the station's news show and to critique it, and the station offered a prize to one lucky respondee. Of course, it was sheer coincidence that the survey coincided with sweeps week. Channel 6's honchos, after all, would not for a moment consider sacrificing credibility for cash from advertising.

What's most unfortunate is that the station has never had a credibility problem before this. At its best, Channel 6's "You Paid for It" series is one of the top journalistic endeavors on local TV news, and Watts and Estepa are well respected in their field, as are the likes of Barbara Meagher and Jim Hummel.

It's disturbing, then, to see Estepa and Watts being treated like show dogs. Admittedly, WLNE has never been able to escape the knee-jerk tendencies of Vo Dilunders to turn to 10 with frightening regularity, but the people at Channel 6 still have to look in the mirror every day. Let Baba Wawa and Stone Phillips do the idiot work, Pam and Larry. You're above it.

Bernie's bennies

Nice to see that Bernie "Moonlight" Jackvony is enjoying the bennies that come with a post to which he wasn't elected. P&J, of course, are referring to Moonlight's decision to continue to practice law as lieutenant governor -- one of the most flagrant conflicts of interest we've observed in the Biggest Little's political circles, which is really saying something.

Not that we should be concerned about the possible ethical questions involved in Jackvony's appearing before a judge who may want to move up the judicial ladder. As most Rhode Islanders know, Governor Bigfoot (who may just be on speaking terms with his deputy) is the one who would approve of such a promotion.

But not to worry, citizens. Bernie is screwing the pooch only on his "vacation days." Never mind that Moonlight assumed that because he is a big shot, he gets a month off. No doubt, he consulted with other new state workers who were fresh back from their three weeks in Provence and were saving up for that fourth week during the Christmas holidays.

According to our friends at the State House working for the Urinal, to date Jackvony has used up 10 vacation days making bucks on the side. That leaves a good 10 more to fatten up the purse -- that is, when he's not performing his demanding duties of cutting ribbons and giving State House tours to schoolchildren.

Perhaps Brian Cunha could use some freelance help pursuing vehicles with sirens and flashing lights. Then again, maybe Morgan and D'Oliveira should form an independent party and run in tandem against the Missing Linc and Moonlight. At least the public would know what they were getting up front.

DEM overtime blues

Could the folks at DEM get screwed any more times this year? Now it's not the Democrats led by environmentally-challenged state Representative Brian "What Regs?" Kennedy doing the screwing but Governor Bigfoot's Republican administration.

Phillipe and Jorge are referring to the news that Bigfoot plans to keep the overtime money the state won in its settlement with Eklof Marine after the North Cape oil spill. During the spill, most DEM employees worked around the clock, a fact Kennedy and the Missing Linc seem to have forgotten.

The Department of Administration (DOA) says DEM managers don't qualify for overtime pay. Putting aside the speciousness and ungrateful of this argument, P&J wonder, then, why the state went after these funds in the first place.

If Governor Bigfoot and DOA head Bob Carl are this hard up for money, maybe we need to see just how much they are pissing away through inefficiency. This is an extremely petty gesture directed at some very committed employees who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty in a crisis. Both Almond and Carl are big men. It's time they started acting as such.

Pink silk screen

Phillipe & Jorge have always been glad to live in the US of A, home of the instant comeback and land where, in time, all is forgiven. We imagine that Marv Albert feels exactly the same way. Judging from his interview with Baba Wawa last week, it looks like he is trying to set a new land speed record for rehabilitation.

We almost believed the guy as he gamely tried to explain away the biting and his choices in foundation garments -- that is, until Baba started asking about his transvestite friends and about how his name and phone number appeared in the little black book of a recently slain dominatrix. Marv's explanation -- that he was going through an "experimental" phase -- was not exactly spinmastery at its best.

Marv's problem is that in the world of big-time sports, a planet devoid of "girly-men," there couldn't possibly be anyone leading the league in rebounds who also enjoys lounging around in lacy under-things. As a result, the biting stuff is not as much of a problem as the suspicion that Marv may enjoy frolicking about in pink silk or that he may be (gasp!) bisexual.

So if Marv can nip (pardon our French) this little "problem" in the bud (i.e., it was all an experiment), he could be back at courtside before the millennium.

The real beef with eating meat

Although your superior correspondents are not members of the Roman Catholic Church, we are always interested in what they're up to -- not just because Vo Dilun is the most Catholic state in the nation but because we just love those clerical outfits. At the annual meeting of the nation's Roman Catholic bishops this week in Washington, DC, the prelates reportedly voted to return to the meatless Fridays of old.

It's been decades since the Church stopped insisting that all devout practitioners abstain from meat (well, the eating of meat, anyway) on Fridays, but the renewed enthusiasm for the idea suggests that the tradition may return, possibly within a year.

Most interesting is the fact that it came at the suggestion of Detroit's Cardinal Adam Maida, who proposed returning to the tradition "as penance for abortion and assisted suicide." Although P&J wouldn't want to impede upon the Church's right to put whatever political spin they want on this, we do think it also might be appropriate to include another reason -- one responsible for far more lives than abortion or assisted suicide.

One of the primary consequences of people eating as much meat as they do is that grain, which could otherwise be far more effectively used to feed people, is being diverted to feeding livestock. Millions and millions of people all over the world suffer from starvation because of our predilection for meat.

Taking note of this fact could help raise the consciousness of people here in meat-eatin' paradise. Who knows, maybe even less people would suffer.

Kudos and congrats . . .

. . . to the BeloJo for their ongoing efforts to make sure that anything having to do with Arthur Coia, Jr., newsworthy or not, lands on the front page of the daily newspaper. Is the guy (as they say) "mobbed-up"? There certainly is a lot of evidence to suggest this, so the Other Paper's continuing coverage of a national story featuring a prominent local player is certainly appropriate.

However, it's funny that even stories with only a slight bit of new information in them are winding up on the front page as well. Maybe more judicious placement would rebut certain assumptions that part of the reason the stories get such big play is the paper's longstanding antipathy toward organized labor.

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