A cleaner environment

According to Tuesday's BeloJo, that ecological bulwark, Vincent "Family Man" Mesolella, has decided to resign in a few months from his post as chairman of a state environmental board set up to distribute funds to service stations plagued with fuel spills. Of course, having Vinny in an environmental post is not unlike having Jesse Helms in charge of a federal organization aimed at stemming the ill effects of smoking tobacco products.

Mesolella was quoted as saying that now that the board is up and running, he wants to devote more time to his "personal business" (which, of course, has no connection whatsoever with his political machinations). In declaring his intentions to the Other Paper's Peter Lord, Family Man said that he didn't "want Phil West or the Journal to think they chased me out."

Right. And Governor Almond wants you to know that any public pressure brought to bear by Charlie Bakst or the NAACP had nothing to do with his selection of O. Rogeriee Thompson for the Superior Court -- and that Jim Ryan of the A.G.'s office (another excellent candidate) was never on the fast track to the appointment and that Ed Morabito did not counsel the guv that it would be politically prudent to select Judge Thompson. Almond did it because it was the right thing to do.

Likewise, when Joe DeAngelis was the sitting speaker of the House, he chose not to run for reelection because he wanted to spend more time with the family. Which family, we're not sure, but in the world of Vo Dilun politics, we always believe everything an officeholder says.

Caveat emptor

Your superior correspondents are always fascinated by the postings in the O.P.'s Providence Police reports. And we were not disappointed with an item announcing that Frank Solitro of North Providence had been charged with "selling forged or altered trademark items" out of a van in a parking lot off Valley Street.

"Inside the van were approximately 300 articles of clothing, including sweatshirts, T-shirts and jeans allegedly bearing forged labels including Adidas, Calvin Klein, Nautica, Reebok, Fila, Nike, and Tommy Hilfiger," the report said. Well, Phillipe & Jorge believe that Vo Dilun consumers are a reasonably crafty lot. We figure that most of them understand that Armani suits, for instance, are not usually licensed to retailers operating out of the trunk of a car.

Another tip to consumers -- if you were to discover, to your chagrin, that your Reeboks were not the genuine article, you might find that the return policy on sneakers sold out of a van can be a little iffy.

Saving face

Up in the Bay State, it's Ray Flynn vs. the Boston Globe. Seems that the former mayor and ambassador to the Vatican is seriously irritated with reporters who speculated on how Flynn's tendency to appear "faced" (read: alcohol-impaired) in public might impact his anticipated race for governor of the Commonwealth.

Flynn complains that the paper has contempt for his "class, religion, and ethnic background" and that reporters don't approve of him because he has "refused to abandon my working-class `lifestyle.' "

So Phillipe & Jorge would like to extend a tip of the sombrero to the former mayor of Boston for proposing yet another colorful phrase for your superior correspondents to exploit. When discussing those caught up in the exhilaration of the imbibing life, we usually give preference to the phrase "tired and emotional." It is comforting to know that we can now add to our quiver the eminently more politically incorrect and offensive "working-class lifestyle." Thanks, Ray.

Beating up baseball

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Phillipe & Jorge are referring to Major League Baseball, which concluded its overlong season with the Florida Marlins' victory over the Cleveland Indians in the 11th inning of the seventh game. Your superior correspondents are proud to say that the winning hit came as we were ensconced in the sofa in the Boom Boom Room at Casa Diablo, carefully scanning the inside of our eyelids just after midnight. Not to suggest that the games run a bit late for us, though others have complained about this and a host of other things.

Just before the Fall Classic began, Don Ohlmeyer, president of NBC West Coast, expressed his dismay at the two teams involved and then blew off his other foot by saying he hoped the Series ended in four games so that NBC wouldn't have to preempt their Thursday night, Seinfeld-anchored ratings leaders. Thanks for the support, Don.

But a much more subtle -- and more relevant to baseball's current problems -- dig slipped by in the form of a MasterCard ad that aired throughout the Series. While trying to extol the virtues of packing Mastercard wherever you go, the spot pointed out that taking your kid to a ball game costs a fortune these days: two tickets for $28 + two sodas and two hot dogs and two popcorns for $18 bucks + an autographed ball for $45 = a grand total of $91. (Although they didn't specify the amount on screen, P&J are pretty quick counting our fingers and toes.)

Add in parking, for an absolute minimum of $10, and Mastercard just explained to the world why you can't afford to take your kid (never mind a family of four) to a game anymore without a second mortgage.

Nice job, MasterCard. We're sure Major League Baseball thanks you.

Spin doctor, heal thyself

Private Eye provides us with a charming story from the Arkansas Herald indicating how far the New South has come:

"There's a lot of wackos out there that call themselves Klansmen," Rachel Prendergraft, spokeswoman for the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan in Harrison, Arkansas, told reporters. "That's why the Knights have decided to apply to the US Patent and Trademark Office for protection of our official logo, a white diamond and Celtic cross designed by Thom Robb, our leader. That way, customers can be certain they're buying genuine Klan merchandise, like this T-shirt with the message `This country is being overrun by anti-Christ Niggers, Spics, Chinks and Jews,' and not fakes made by unsavory rivals."

P&J have always wondered just what you have to do to be more unsavory than the Klan.

Prince Vartan

Yet another honor for former Brown University Head Ramrod Vartan Gregorian. During his visit to the states, Aram I Catholicos, spiritual leader of the Armenian Apostolic Church, anointed Vart a prince of the church in a celebration at the Plaza Hotel on October 5. The gold prince's medal should go nicely with the cardboard crown from Burger King that Gregorian's office staff presented him with later that day in a heartfelt, impromptu ceremony back at the Carnegie Corporation. We hope he'll be sporting both on his next visit to the Ocean State.

Quotes of the month

A big tip of the beret and sombrero to the ABC promotions department for the Ellen DeGeneres spots running on the network's NFL games. Ellen says, "Hey, I see you're watching Monday Night Football. If you like seeing people of the same sex pat each other on the bottom, watch my show!" Needless to say, when they cut back to the game, there are no clever quips from Frank Gifford or Al Michaels in the broadcast booth.

And kudos to the genius Bob Goen of modern America's version of an Edward R. Murrow news special, Entertainment Tonight, for leading off an October 6 story with the line -- "Since Princess Di's death, she has been living in seclusion." So we have been led to believe, Bob.

Kudos and congrats

Just wrap up a major journalism award now and ship it to the BeloJo's Ged Carbone. His story in the Sunday Urinal on Doug Goodale, the Maine lobsterman who had to practically cut off his arm to save his life, was riveting. Prior to this, our old buddy had picked up big-time awards for his adventure-laden story about two young climbers who'd become trapped in a blizzard on Mt. Washington -- a blizzard in which one had lost his life and the other's had been miraculously spared. Carbone's piece on Goodale is nearly as good . . . And since we're shipping trophies to Fountain Street, pack one in there for the "Teaching Matters" series the Other Paper runs on education in conjunction with Channel 10. The series has been incredibly candid and has raised vital education issues without allowing the finger-pointing that usually plagues education reform . . . Finally, as Laborers Union head and Barrington blow-dry boy Arthur Coia sinks beneath the waves of corruption, that's John Mulligan of the Urinal standing on his head to make sure Coia goes under for sure. Mulligan has done a sweet job of digging up considerable dirt on Coia and his close connections to organized crime and President Billary. Why doesn't he leave that poor man alone?

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