Don't do us any favors

Phillipe and Jorge are delighted to see that Providence District Court judge Rogeriee Thompson has again made the Judicial Nominating Committee's short list of contenders for a key judgeship, this time on the Biggest Little's Superior Court. Twice before the immensely qualified Thompson was a candidate for a spot on the Supreme Court bench, but for some reason, she was overlooked.

Since P&J's past attempts to lobby Governor Bigfoot to select Judge Rogeriee went nowhere in the Missing Linc's inner sanctum, let's try another tack: Boy, we sure hope you don't name Rogeriee Thompson, Guv. So what if she's easily the most deserving on a list of admirable candidates? And who cares if everyone familiar with her work in the Family and District courts showers praise on her?

You're not the kind of guy to let people push you around, are you, Mr. Almond? And while race doesn't need to be an issue, given Judge Thompson's accomplishments and talent, you shouldn't actually do something about M. Chuckie Bakst's excellent expose in the Sunday Urinal on how your own administration is overrun with white guys in suits. Who is Bakst, after all, but some Jewish-type fellow with a bad haircut, right?

You show 'em, Linc. Chuck Thompson's name in the circular file right this instant. You the man!

Quote of the week

Are you as excited as your superior correspondents are about the new lineup of shows on television this fall? After perusing the schedule, we'll bet you're thinking, just like Phillipe & Jorge, that maybe folks should take another look at the entertainment value of attending town council meetings.

Be that as it may, one of the trends this year is sitcoms featuring women in leading roles. NBC has even dubbed their Monday night lineup "Must She TV." (Hey, they must be paying their promotions department an arm and a leg.)

The New York Times ran an article last Sunday on the always-important topic of what the actresses in these series wear to their sitcom jobs. Seems that the TV moguls have decided that the working woman of the late '90s should dress like the classic working woman of old (as in "the world's oldest profession"). No more sensible shoes, reasonable hemlines, or sober work outfits. Hello, Jenny McCarthy.

In response to a question about the micro-minis favored by sitcom attorney Ally McBeal on Fox's series of the same name, network spokesperson Stacey Scowley said, "They want her to be intelligent, but they want her to be appealing, too." Apparently, in the world of television, these two concepts are mutually exclusive.

Guilty . . . yes!

Does anyone feel cheated because the Marv Albert trial was over in a week? After the spectacle of the seemingly endless O.J. soap opera, fans of celebrity sin must feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under them -- in much the same way that Marv's own rug was dramatically yanked off by the hotel executive who testified about Biting Boy's nocturnal proclivities.

Most interesting to Phillipe & Jorge was some of the discussion we heard on local talk radio concerning the Albert affair. Seems that what really riled people up was the fact that Albert was a "pervert" -- i.e., that he enjoyed women's undergarments and engaged in kinky sex and that Albert may be (gasp!) bisexual.

But in reality, the true outrage is that Marv committed a crime, that he sexually assaulted someone. Sexual assault has nothing to do with what kind of underwear the assailant is sporting or the gender of whom he or she is assaulting.

We also heard an amazing call on the Arlene Violet show on WHJJ. The caller actually made a connection between Albert and the "liberal media," claiming that the "liberal media" provided coverage favorable to Albert. Where did this appear? We didn't see or hear anyone defending Albert, although the caller insisted that it was pervasive.

Unfortunately, Ahh-lene never challenged the guy to produce the least bit of evidence to back up his ludicrous broad-brush assertions. We love you, Arlene, but we were hoping that you would challenge this foolishness.

It was not a question of whether you did or didn't believe that there is a liberal bias in the media. It was that there is absolutely no evidence to support this caller's contention. Not only that, but inherent in his rant was the notion that "liberals" support sexual assault. Seems to us that "liberals" of the feminist persuasion have been the most outspoken about this type of crime.

Well, back to the drawing board. We suspect that the next celebrity outrage is just around the corner, so hang in there, talk radio fans.

Quiz show

Over the years, Phillipe & Jorge have never been reluctant to plug various projects that we may be involved in when they are of a charitable nature. It is only on rare occasions that we stray from this policy to hype events of a more personal nature. One such occasion cropped up recently, when a quick glance at the Casa Diablo balance sheet indicated that Jorge was, in fact, dead broke.

Not that this was any great surprise. The market for agents provocateur has never been exactly booming. And since it dawned on Jorge that he probably is not on the short list for a major government appointment, it has behooved him to, once again, invent a phony-baloney job for himself. Hence "Quiz Show," an evening of IQ-enhancing entertainment that will commence at the Custom House Tavern in downtown Providence on Sunday evenings starting this week.

It will be sort of a combination between Jeopardy and College Bowl, during which customers/contestants will vie for none-too-valuable prizes and the opportunity to proclaim themselves top genius types by correctly answering questions offered by Jorge (here, under the guise of his alter ego, Rudy Cheeks) that will cover a range of dubious categories.

Of course, the ongoing consumption of alcoholic beverages will make the final rounds of the contest quite interesting, as the challenge of brain-cell depletion will add to the difficulty of the questions.

We are especially proud of this week's "Nixon" category. Originally, we had a "Rhode Island" category that hinged on giving directions to various geographic locations in the state by means of now-defunct local landmarks, but we decided that this would've been unfair to more recent arrivals.

It will be challenging, fun, informative, and, most important, an opportunity for Jorge to wear his tuxedo in an incongruous setting.

The real bottom line

America's infatuation with rich people, regardless of whether they are greedy boors in real life, is quite appalling to P&J. It reminds us of a remark our old friend Irwin Becker once made.

One of Vo Dilun's more entertaining Don Quixotes, Becker raises money for a number of local nonprofits that do valuable work in the community. When asked one time if he felt embarrassed about asking companies such as Fleet Bank for contributions, Becker replied, "I'm not embarrassed we don't have the money. I'm embarrassed THEY have it."

But Becker, alas, is one of a kind. Just consider all of the attention paid this week to a report that annually lists the top-earning people in the nation.

What P&J would like to see as a follow-up to this is another report detailing how much these billionaires pay in taxes, and how much money they contribute to charities. These figures then could be matched against the percentage paid and donated by the average American worker.

So what if the number-one-ranked Bill Gates made almost $40 million last year. What did he pay the IRS, and how much of his yearly take went to charities? One million from Gates to his favorite nonprofit would make a far smaller dent in his wallet than $50 would make on that of a person earning $39,800.

Perhaps Bill Gates gives all of his money to charity, or perhaps he doesn't contribute a cent. Phillipe and Jorge don't know, but we do care. And as for the IRS, we're willing to bet a frosty Pernod-and-grapefruit that everyone on the new highest-income list pays a much smaller percentage on their take than we do. But shouldn't we be told? Guess that's too tough for today's celebrity journalists (sic) to find out.

P&J are reminded of a recent quip we heard that asked why Anglo-Saxons don't like to tell people how much they make -- because the five percent with all the money have convinced the remaining 95 percent that it's unseemly.

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