The usual

The gang up at Halitosis Hall certainly didn't disappoint in the usual end-of-session frenzy last week. As URI political science professor Maureen Moakley pointed out last week on Deadly Experiment, most state legislatures act just like our solons in the Biggest Little, holding off until the last minute to unload a pile of bills in the final days and fly under the radar of public scrutiny.

But they don't all come up with vaguely worded bills to shovel $10 million-plus, courtesy of the Convention Center Authority, toward the likes of a Vinnie "Family Man" Mesolella to aid a hotel development project. This little piece of dubious legislation, introduced by John Celona, chairman of the Senate Corporations Committee, materialized on the evening of June 27 with a two-sentence "explanation" that didn't even mention a hotel. The Senate approved the measure, 43-0, after Celona explained that there were no objections in his committee the preceding day.

This little item, duly reported for what it was in the Other Paper, was so embarrassing that even the tough-to-embarrass Senate majority leader, Bill "Napoleon Jr." Irons, felt compelled to apologize post facto (albeit at 1:30 in the morning), for an "innocent error" in not more fully explaining the bill. As we have come to expect in the closing days of a legislative session, so many innocent errors, so little time.

Another piece of legislation being closely watched by your superior correspondents, as well as many people in the labor community, was the measure to limit mandatory overtime for health care employees. The Senate and House both passed legislation, but were unable to craft a single measure before time ran out.

It wasn't all bad news, however. Senator Catherine Graziano's proposal to force women to wait 24 hours before seeking abortions -- to receive more information on the procedure and publicly post the intended doctor's identity (a particularly heinous provision) -- never got a hearing in House Judiciary and was thus killed for this session. Anti-abortion zealot Graziano vows that she'll be back next session with something similar. Perhaps she should come up with a more honest title than the "Women Right to Know Act," something like, "The Doctors Right to be Threatened Act."

Best wishes

Phillipe and Jorge are absolutely appalled at some of the bad thoughts we've heard uttered about Dick Cheney since he suffered his latest heart problem. Certainly, no matter which political party you're associated with, no one should have to put up with hearing people say things like, "I hope that bastard drops dead tomorrow and rots in hell."

How could anyone possibly hope that harm might come to a wonderful man who once voted against banning "cop killer" bullets, who voted to kill a US request that the South African government release Nelson Mandela from Robben Island Prison, and who's married to a sweetheart of a gal who writes steamy accounts of girl-on-girl sex in her novels while being in angry public denial that her own daughter is a lesbian?

We don't care if Big Time's removal from office, either through his own choice or his heart running up the flag, would result in Dubya Bush becoming president -- our thoughts are with you, Dickie.

Notoriety beat

A number of stories you'll want to keep your eye on in the coming weeks:

* The allegation by 18-year-old Jesse Ousley that he was beaten up by an off-duty Lincoln police officer because he is gay. Ousley filed a million dollar lawsuit against the town. He was walking down the street, holding hands with his boyfriend when, he alleges, he was accosted and subsequently beaten. Lincoln Town Solicitor Mark Krieger (who, we suspect, doesn't know what he's talking about, but does understand that his job is to protect the legal ass of Lincoln) has been quoted as saying that there's "no merit" to Ousley's claim, although initial reports indicate that there were a number of witnesses to the incident.

* The one about the two former executives for the Wembley USA corporation, who are suing their former employers, alleging unusual payments to a Vo Dilun lawyer regarding the Lincoln Greyhound track. That attorney would be Dan McKinnon, Pucky Harwood's law partner. This story's got it all: gambling policy and potential conflict of interest, in addition to dogs, legislators, and attorneys all prancing around on all fours.

* From the "what's wrong with this picture?" department comes Neal Travis's report in the New York Post that Sylvester Stallone's Rocky might be the next old movie turned into a Broadway musical. Stallone is a bit long in the tooth (and short in the stage charisma department) to take on the title role, so Travis suggests Luke Perry for the title role. P&J's pick for the stage Rocky? Hope Valley's own Billy Gilman, who, right around now, needs a good punch in the head.

The white paper

As Economic Development Corporation employees jump ship faster than a pack of rats, Steamy Tom Schumpert continues to defy AG Sheldon Whitehouse's order to make public the infamous Quonset Point "white paper" (Governor Bigfoot's smoking gun). The repercussions can be seen with the Quonset Point/ Davisville advisory committee, which now contains a number of infuriated legislators. The premise offered by the latest shyster of the week, EDC lawyer Adrienne Southgate, is that the white paper was never officially submitted as part of the Missing Linc's budget.

This stalling tactic is quite obviously being used to spare Bigfoot embarrassment over the fact that he and the EDC have, from the git-go, never seriously evaluated any option for QP other than a container port, despite their protestations to the contrary. Well, thanks to the complicity of the legislature and the House Finance Committee, the guv got $1.5 million for his premature and patently unwarranted environmental impact study. The revelation of the white paper's contents would have foiled this gambit and revealed how Linc was traveling under false colors.

The only bright side to the EIS vote is that Big Linc didn't get the $3 million he first requested, and that Tony Pires, chairman of the House Finance Committee, has effectively ended his longshot bid to become the Democratic gubernatorial candidate in 2002. Sorry, Tony, but opponents of the bill won't forget your cheap charade of proposed opposition when they go to the polls in the primary.

Grim Reaper, hard at work

Yes, it has been a busy time for the Grim Reaper. John Lee Hooker, the blues patriarch; Chet Atkins, the great guitarist and country music legend; Joe Henderson, the fine tenor saxophonist; Charles S. Whitehouse, former ambassador to Laos and Thailand. and father of our attorney general, all passed away in recent days. And then there was the BeloJo's legendary Al Johnson, a pro's pro, and someone who everyone in the print news business admired and respected.

Your superior correspondents met Johnson only a few times, but we were well aware of the esteem he was held in by the ink-stained wretches of Fountain Street, who understood they'd never see another of his kind.

Jorge has found memories of the great John Lee Hooker. During what seems like another lifetime, Jorge, in his earlier guise as a musician, played an outdoor festival gig with Hooker back in 1971. The legendary bluesman seemed pretty old then, but one got the sense that he would roll on forever. He seemed a modest and soft-spoken man who just burned it up when he got on stage. We'll miss him.

Profiles in discouragement

Is anyone at all surprised to learn, in the preliminary reports on racial profiling, that it appears minority drivers are indeed stopped at a much higher rate than whites? It will be interesting to watch the spin on this as more information becomes available. Fortunately, the House didn't take up the bill to make seatbelt violations a primary reason for stopping a car after the legislation was passed in the Senate. This could have mucked up efforts to get at the bottom of racial profiling. Certainly, that's what a lot of folks in the minority community think, and P&J believe there is more than a little truth to the observation.

Intern trouble

As professional journalists (cough, cough), Phillipe and Jorge naturally have a great deal of care and respect for our profession. So we were appalled to learn that two of the Urinal's summer interns were recently dismissed for failing he paper's drug test. One aspiring Jimmy Olsen was dismissed for showing traces of Ecstasy, while the other was nailed for using pot. As one veteran Urinal reporter quipped to P&J, "It's a good thing they weren't having reporters peeing in a cup 17 years ago, or they wouldn't have had anyone to write the paper." Had the interns only looked to their superiors and modeled their abstemious behavior, we're sure they would have avoided these pitfalls.

Still, P&J are shocked, shocked, to discover that anyone at the Other Paper should be using illegal drugs! Hey, are you gonna pass that thing our way or not?

Send Carta Blanca, a Daily Racing Form, and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.

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