Under the Plunder Dome

Compared to the series of prosecutorial oversights and screw-ups that took place during discovery in the case against former Governor Ed "Gerber Babe" DiPrete, the current brouhaha about how Casby and Mary Harrison caught a peek of an FBI undercover videotape at Assistant US Attorney Richard Rose's house sometime last summer is a mere tempest in a teapot. Unfortunate and possibly stupid, yes, but P&J, who have seen Rose socially on a number occasions since the investigation became public, can attest to the fact that his lips have certainly been sealed with us and numerous mutual friends.

In fact, your superior correspondents ran into a lifelong friend of Richard's just the other day. He complained about the case -- how he and the prosecutor were unable to joke around as freely as was their wont, because of this whole area that he can't get into with anyone. We expect a fine prosecutor, not someone beyond human error, and we haven't been disappointed.

Undoubtedly, the most fascinating scrap of instant Plunder Dome memorabilia so far is the Bud-I photo taken sans rug when he was processed last week after his arraignment. And this is where the BeloJo faces a distinct disadvantage in publishing the undoubtedly dramatic, yet inherently worthless, image. We like to think of it as the Nixon/China syndrome -- how a liberal Democrat never could have gotten away with beginning the process of normalizing US relations with China, while Nixon had the requisite anti-communist bona fides to pull it off. The Urinal, as the Bud-I's primary nemesis, would look like it's piling on if published the photograph, an act that would likely inflame and rally the mayor's many supporters. For that reason, and also as an attempt to look balanced (which they're not) and fair (ditto), we predict that even if they get their grubby mitts on the image, the Urinal will sit on it for some time before letting it see the light of publication.

On the other hand, no one has ever accused your superior correspondents of being either balanced or fair, and we'd love to publish it -- not for any political advantage or disadvantage, mind you, just gratuitous sensationalism.

Another note from Plunder Dome:

P&J have been inspired to devise a rescue plan for WLNE-TV, ABC, Channel 6, by the mayor's retort ("Are you saying that you're a clown?") to the reporter who asked about whether it's difficult for him to operate in a circus-like atmosphere. Considering all the changes, adjustments, and upheavals that have gone on at Channel 6 (none of which seem to have any effect on local news ratings), your superior correspondents suggest the station boldly go where no other news outfit has gone before, actually dressing all their anchors, reporters, sports and weather personnel in clown outfits on a regular basis. Our thinking is, their ratings couldn't get much worse and, hey, it's TV news, which, just like the circus, is ultimately show biz. Call it "Big Top News," and see if it flies.

Weak link

NBC has been loudly beating the drum over its new humiliation series, The Weakest Link, and heralding its host, Anne Robinson, as every bad little boy's stern English nanny-cum dominatrix. But perhaps you'd like to hear what the English satirical magazine Private Eye has to say about the supposedly intelligent and fastidious Ms. Robinson:

"The real weakest link on BBC 2's The Weakest Link [NBC snarfed up someone else's idea, natch] is, of course, the gaffe-prone and embarrassing presenter Anne Robinson with her irritating wink." Private Eye gave some illustrations of her own weaknesses:

Anne Robinson: "In what century was the First World War?"

Contestant: "The Twentieth."

AR: "No, the Nineteenth."

And:

AR: "Which cardinal's downfall was caused by his failure to secure Henry VIII's divorce?"

C: "Wesley."

AR: "Correct!"

Wesley?

These spectacular boners (excuse us) remind P&J of our own all-time favorite TV game show bloopers. We think of the famous 1960s host who once posed the question, "It's a four-letter word beginning with "H," and I am one," to which the contestant instantly responded, "Homo." And the legendary Wheel of Fortune show in which the answer "Barbie" came up under the topic of "Literary Character." Cough, cough.

What wasteland?

Gag rules

P&J, like many other Vo Dilunduhs interested in honest and clean government, were disgusted by the kangaroo court canning last week of Martin Healey, executive director of the Rhode Island Ethics Commission. The commission is now an absolute disgrace and a sham. Accusing Healey of being too concerned about his responsibilities if absolutely absurd.

The speaker of the House is defending clients, possibly in violation of the law, before the Department of Business Regulation.

Martin Healey is overzealous.

The speaker names his crony to be secretary of state, in defiance of the state's revolving door restriction on members of the General Assembly.

Martin Healey is overzealous.

The mayor of Providence is accused of running City Hall like a crime ring.

Martin Healey is overzealous.

Three members of the Ethics Commission have direct ties to lobbyists.

Martin Healey is overzealous.

The chief justice of the Supreme Court attacks Healey in an op-ed in the Urinal, recalling conversations with Healey in a very different way than Healey, setting the stage for Healey to be fired.

Martin Healey is overzealous.

Rhode Island is once again being made a national laughingstock because of the state's subrosa political machinations.

Marty Healey is overzealous.

Maybe Operation Clean Government and Common Cause should print up stickers that say "Overzealous," and see just how many people would be proud to be called that in light of our current level of corruption. And don't bother asking for any, Messrs. Goldberg.

Wang Wei ticket

Following the release of our 24 American military men and women in China, after Dubya the Dimwit finally apologized for the death of a Chinese pilot, Wang Wei (which means "Wrong Way" in English), P&J are struck by the way in which Junior stood up, however feebly, to his father's good friends in Beijing.

One of the most disgusting moments in this country's recent history was in 1989, when Dubya's daddy, Poppy Bush, sided with the ancient Communist terrorists who are buddies with his rich corporate friends, turning a blind eye to the massacre of students who rolled a huge replica of the Statue of Liberty into Tiananmen Square as a sign of their hunger for freedom and respect for the United States. Considering how his father all but handed the Chinese old guard a license to kill, it was laughable to watch our cross-eyed little pipsqueak of a president rattle his rubber Pirates of Penzance replica saber. No drumstick for you this Thanksgiving at Kennebunkport, mister.

Kicking the BeloJo again

What happens when you fire a reporter who actually knows what he's writing about? Your coverage starts to suck, that's what. Just ask the editors at the Urinal, who recently lost award-winning soccer writer Doug Chapman when they tried to transfer him off his beat after 19 years in the sports department. As P&J reported a few weeks ago, he told them to stick it and walked.

On March 30, the Urinal ran a story about how the New England Revolution, a Major League Soccer team, acquired Jamaican international team player Andrew Williams. Yeah, that's just transaction section stuff, were it not for the fact that Williams is perhaps the most talented player to ever play college soccer in Rhode Island, having won All America honors at URI while becoming the school's all-time leading scorer.

But since Chapman wasn't on hand to fill in between the lines of the AP wire copy, you didn't read about it. This despite the BeloJo's tacit policy of running banner headlines about anyone remotely newsworthy who has even visited Little Rhody. As Doug informed P&J, "so much for [sports editor] Art Martone's claim that the paper plans to increase its soccer coverage."

Actually it was Joel Rawson, the Urinal's executive editor, who told Chapman, "We don't care about soccer." These are strange words in an area that has a multitude of youth teams, and the Revolution setting attendance records in our backyard. Because of the local interest, we've also got regular status as a site for US national team matches, and a prestigious and popular World Cup match was held here in 1994. Good reasoning, Joel. Also total bullshit, from a newsman whose professional stock on Fountain Street is plummeting faster than that of a dot.com CEO.

Chapman has landed on his feet with his own column on the MLS's Web page. The rumor is that Rawson has received petitions with thousands of signatures, calling for Chapman to be rehired, and hundreds of letters urging the same, from people such as Mike Noonan, the highly successful soccer coach at Brown. Or is this just the Urinal's way of trying to show that someone doesn't care about soccer, even if it isn't the public, which they falsely claim to be so apathetic? The Incredible Shrinking Paper -- a horror movie indeed.

Kudos and congrats . . .

. . . to Senator Linc Chafee, for sticking to his guns on the Bush tax proposal. There's no doubt he was under extraordinary pressure to cave, what with Senate Majority Leader Trent "Hairdo Boy" Lot and Vice-President Dick "Big Time" Cheney leaning on him (Cheney called local talk shows, and Bush's chief of staff dialed the BeloJo, as part of the pressure tactics). Then, of course, right-wing pundits like the odious Paul Gigot piled on, likening Linc to Melville's Bartleby the Scrivener (prompting Linc to generously acknowledge that he'd never read the story and would add it to his reading list). P&J see Chafee more in the spirit of another story from Melville's The Piazza Tales, "The Lightning Rod Man." Along with senators Jeffords of Vermont, Breaux of Louisiana and Snowe of Maine, our Linc looks to be a magnet for all sorts of attention. We have no doubt that he'll continue to hang tough.

Send inside dope, scuttlebutt, and Pulitzer-worthy tips to p&j[a]phx.com.

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