More BeloJo dirty linen

If you're part of Vo Dilun's growing soccer community, you already know that Doug Chapman, longtime BeloJo sportswriter who covered the soccer scene, is no longer with the paper. Here's what your superior correspondents learned about the case.

Last November, Chapman was told that, after 19 years in the sports department, he was being reassigned to the Massachusetts bureau covering North Attleboro/Attleboro. Not exactly a promotion considering that Chapman is a member of the New England Soccer Hall of Fame, had probably covered a greater variety of sports -- and filed as many stories -- as anyone in the department, and was voted 1999 Rhode Island Sportswriter of the Year by the National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association.

But these credentials were apparently not strong enough, or Chapman was too much the jack-of-all-trades to be retained. Chapman says sports editor Art Martone told him he was needed more in news than in sports -- something that Martone confirmed to your superior correspondents -- because of the number of scribes leaving the news department. Still, from Doug's perspective, he was being sent to the Urinal equivalent of Siberia (although P&J thought last year's bondage & discipline case in Paddleboro was choice, grade A fodder).

Anyway, Chapman resigned from the Other Paper on February 3. After complaining to management about the reassignment, he claims he was told, "We looked at soccer and compared it to other sports that we cover, and we give it a very low priority . . . We don't care about soccer." Chapman didn't say who told him this, but both he and Martone agree that it wasn't Martone. Chapman says he was also informed that he had "no shot at ever going back to sports [reporting]."

Your superior correspondents' interpretation? It could be a "let's get rid of a 19-year veteran and his 19-year salary" situation. Considering that his salary couldn't be reduced with the new assignment, the OP would have to be depending, under this scenario, on Chapman being so disgruntled that he'd leave, which is exactly what he's done.

We certainly don't believe that the Other Paper doesn't care about soccer. It's the most popular game in the world and, despite the fact that it doesn't fit comfortably into American corporate greed culture (primarily because it doesn't lend itself to TV commercials -- the main reason it's not on the air more), it will continue to increase in popularity. More likely, a first-rate soccer writer is a luxury item at this point.

The sport's popularity in schools will undoubtedly grow because the injury liability and cost isn't a problem -- you need a field, a ball, a couple of goals and some jerseys.

Art Martone says that the paper actually intends to expand its soccer coverage and is genuinely saddened by Chapman's departure. Too bad the BeloJo couldn't expand it with Chapman.

Good point!

A badge-carrying Casa Diablo regular of note e-mailed your superior correspondents last week with this terse message in response to last week's cool, cool world:

"Jorge this week mentioned RIPTA's Saturday schedule in the snow storm. What is the point of encouraging people to take public transit, wanting to decrease the number of cars on the road, and then reducing the bus schedule at the same time?"

Good point, T.C. Jorge has noticed over the years that no one in Vo Dilun government gives a shit about the effectiveness of mass transit. And that goes for affordable housing, too.

Things that make you go "Huh?"

Your superior correspondents were amazed, in one period of less than 24 hours, at how many times we could turn on a television newscast and just go, "huh?" The JARheads over at Channel 10 tend to be the class of the bunch (and we love ya, R.J., we really love ya), so we'll just write it off as a sign of Kelly McGee's youth that her obit for Frankie Carle, the great Providence-born swing era pianist and composer, ended with, "His most famous composition was `Sunshine Serenade.' " Sorry, Kelly, that's "Sunrise Serenade." Perhaps Kelly was confusing the big Glenn Miller hit with "Sunshine Superman" by Donovan (or maybe she'd just been smoking some "electrical banana" prior to going on the air).

We switched to Channel 12 in time to catch a station promo in which they proudly mentioned Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, they pronounced it "Wilkes-Bar," not Wilks-Barry," as people in the know actually utter that city's name.

And we weren't disappointed to find out that our old pal Mark Patinkin was writing his Tuesday column about how South County is not an actual geographic, political, or governmental entity, but some vague Swamp Yankee concept. Pinky's been here in the Biggest Little for more than 20 years, and he's just finding this out? Go to bed, Pinky, take two clam cakes, drink plenty of coffee-flavored liquids, and call us in the morning.

Oh, that white paper!

State Senator James Sheehan of North Kingstown hit the nail right on the head when he identified two pages of a secret Economic Development Corporation white paper, which the obfuscators at EDC were finally forced to make public, as the "smoking gun" in plans to put a megaport at Quonset Point. Even though Sheehan is a member of the Quonset-Davisville Management Corporation board, which supposedly advises the freelancing cowboys at EDC, it took a no-doubt unintended mention of the full white paper in a December auditor's report to learn of it, and it has still taken months to pry the paper out of the EDC's grubby little fists.

P&J aren't sure if EDC ramrod Tom Schumpert has as little concern about his agency's credibility as his predecessor, John "Visa Boy" Swen. Visa Boy promoted the huge container facility without even knowing about the Clean Water Act, or checking out the financial credentials of potential port developers Quonset Point Partners, aka the "Bankruptcy Boys." But it does appear that Schumpert has Governor Bigfoot's hand about two feet up his freckle, working him like a hand puppet in the same way he did Swen.

The quote of the week, however, comes from EDC flack Clare Eckert, who gave this EDC mission statement to the Urinal after her gang had been caught concealing the evidence: "That's our job -- to be progressive in our thinking." Just like the Republican Party, eh, Clare?

If you thought that was funny . . .

While Clare Eckert can obviously toss out the one-liners with Henny Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield, you had to howl over House Majority Leader Gerard "Shecky" Martineau's defense of his controversial use of campaign funds to treat lobbyists to golf and dinner at the Kirkbrae Country Club in Lincoln, where he holds a joint membership with our old friend "Carpy" Carpano, the JARhead sportscaster. (Watch the company you keep, Carpy. Remember Rossi.)

Shecky told Urinal reporter Kathy "Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill" Gregg, "The lobbyists are a part of government . . . whether it is Henry Shelton from the Poverty Center [sic] or whether it is somebody lobbying for whatever their issue may be, the lobbyists and the members, we're all in this together." If you know the esteemed but real-as-dirt Henry Shelton, the idea of our old pal dressed up in garish golfing attire and teeing off on the first hole with the likes of Martineau and lobbyists is enough to bring you to your knees in disbelief and laughter, especially given Shelton's choice of a toupee that looks like a Tiger Woods' divot. To no one's surprise, Gregg reported that Henry is still waiting for that first offer of a tee time and then a few pops at the 19th hole at Kirkbrae with Shecky and Co.

You're a scream, Gerry. Fore!

New BeloJo

In a move of staggering genius that perhaps rivals only that of the Coca-Cola Company in trying to foist "New Coke" on the public, the Other Paper has completely changed their traditional look by using new fonts and a different margin width. This is obviously the work of BeloJo execs who obviously have too much time on their hands and are trying to justify their existence. (Could this perhaps be in preparation for cutting the width of the OP to save Belo more on newsprint?Get out your rulers and watch for the incredible shrinking paper.) Along with the current union troubles you'll never read about in the Urinal, this marks another step down the slippery slope of quality for the local organ of record.

The once dignified-looking paper now has the appearance of something resembling a college newspaper, with our apologies to college newspaper designers everywhere. While we do enjoy seeing upgrades like the new picture of our pal, columnist M. Chuckie Bakst, which makes him look more like he belongs in a newsroom, rather than a Todd Browning movie, pul-eeze, pul-eeze, pul-eeze, go back to the old fonts, kids. You don't have to make yourselves look bad -- that's what P&J are here for.

Jockular

Don't you love the fact that Bobby Knight, professional boor and child abuser, and former Indiana University head basketball coach, is now threatening to sue the school over his dismissal last year, claiming he suffered emotional distress, pain and suffering, and mental humiliation? We could certainly add a few other categories, such as delusional and sociopathic behavior, but in a court of law these would simply be judged pre-existing conditions.

All P&J are hoping for is that former Indiana players, university officials and professors, and every referee who has ever worked a game in which Knight coached, band together and file a class-action suit against this fat, blowhard for the same reasons. Anyone want to take a bet on which way a jury would rule? And good luck to Texas Tech, which is all set to hire this Neanderthal to coach their team next year. Dumb Texans? Now where have we heard that recently?

Send rumors, Pulitzer-worthy tips, and accolades to p&j[a]phx.com.

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