Does Pucky see the light?

Did House Speaker John "Pucky" Harwood actually experience an "epiphany," as suggested by Robert Arruda of Operation Clean Government, when he deigned to excuse himself from a blatant conflict of interest involving a wetlands case before the state Department of Environmental Management? Phillipe and Jorge's answer would be a resounding, "Naaaah." Pucky may just want to look like a good guy in the interim since he's probably got a bigger case, involving a more flagrant abuse of his power, coming down the pike.

Any guy who grabs for his wife, Pathetic, a lifetime sinecure and $75,000 pay raise -- which we're sure the Harwood menage will share equally -- and contravenes another ethics statute to give the secretary of state's job to Ed In(sider), his hockey-playing General Assembly colleague, can hardly be expected to be scared off a money-making opportunity by the DEM, the official whipping boy of the State House. However, we did like the way that Peter Weichers, asked by the Urinal about bringing in the big guns to try to avoid DEM punishment for wetlands violations, said he'd never met Pucky. Unless he's swinging his baseball bat in his third-floor office at Halitosis Hall, Mr. Pucky doesn't seem to make much of an impression on people.

Kudos to our beleaguered colleagues at the BeloJo for prompting this (albeit temporary) 11th-hour conversion. Pucky quickly bailed after learning that his wheelings and dealings were about to be exposed in the Sunday Urinal. Looks like too much front-page exposure for being a greedy, strong-arm expert even got to the speaker. But even with his "Abandon ship!" announcement, it's interesting to see how many times Pucky, as a lawyer representing clients who benefit from his actions at Halitosis Hall, has been nailed for abuse of his authority. In 1993, the state Ethics Commission cited him for 12 violations that were blatant money-grabs.

Another lawyer/politician, Representative William Murphy (the West Warwick model), hopes to make the world safe for lawyers to practice in without being expected to obey those pesky conflict rules. He's pushing a bill to eliminate the laws that the DEM types referred to in expressing concern about Pucky's possible conflict. Sniveled Pucky, "Why don't they knock me out of everything? Maybe I should join the priesthood." Well, at least Pucky would have practice in the grand tradition of buggery that afflicts many priests -- he's been making Vo Dilunduhs bend over for years.

Jockular

Despite the fact P&J spent the bulk of the weekend shopping for retro clothing, so we could be in proper attire for our Casa Diablo TV party for the showing of Inside the Osmonds, we did manage to sneak in a bit of viewing time with the XFL. This new "Extreme Football League" is the mutant spawn of World Wrestling Federation king Vince "Steroid Boy" McMahon, and his executive co-producer, NBC Sports' top honcho, Dick "Did I Tell You I was Married to Susan St. James?" Ebersol.

Well, these two have certainly pegged their audience, boys in the 12-to-24 category (one of P&J's favorite target groups as well, we might add), for this distorted version of football. In merely one half of play, we were treated to the ubiquitous sideline microphones picking up at least a half-dozen comments of "Fuck!" (or embellishments thereof), and nearly fell off the couch when an announcer ended one of his screaming exchanges with a press box partner by shouting at him, "Kiss my ass!", before the game immediately cut to a commercial. We believe John Madden needn't fear lack of employment in the near future.

Not that it mattered to your superior correspondents, but we did find the double entendre-filled, taped chit-chats between players and cheerleaders about as subtle as an outing to Hooters. But even a male teenager might have a hard time believing it's just a coincidence that one of the teams had the good fortune to hire cheerleaders named, Brandy, Candy, Mandy, Randy . . . and, er, Donder and Blitzen, or something like that. Well, you get the idea.

Sleep tight, Newton Minow.

The Missing Linc strikes again

In our deep concern for the health of Governor Bigfoot, Phillipe and Jorge fear greatly that our state's head ramrod may well be afflicted with a debilitating case of amnesia.

How else to explain his refusal to let the state Economic Development Corporation (and you know this is the Missing Linc's call all the way -- stand aside Tom Schumpert) reveal certain cost estimates for the development at Quonset Point, where Bigfoot is nursing a Captain Queeg-like obsession to site a megaport? Doesn't he remember how, less than two years ago, his first attempt to destroy Narragansett Bay was sealed by a batch of lies, obfuscations, and failure to reveal information?

This time, the opposition forces are even more marshaled against the plan. So the phobes were immediately on the warpath when Almond refused to make public an auditor's "white paper" -- which cited a 2002 budget figure of $3.8 million as necessary to develop the park -- calling it a "draft."

"It raises all kinds of suspicions," state Senator James Sheehan of North Kingstown, a board member of the Quonset Davisville Management Corporation (which advises the EDC), told the Urinal. "If I'm a board member and I can't get it, who is minding the shop?" The BeloJo has also been stonewalled in attempts to see the document, stymied by the "working papers" excuse. Will Bigfoot ever twig to the fact that hiding information doesn't help his cause, especially after his last use of these tactics led to his being publicly pants-ed and sent back to the State House, tarred and his hair feathered with little tropical drink umbrellas? No secrets, big guy. Maybe you should try that approach just once.

Meanwhile, kudos to the Newport City Council for unanimously and unequivocally passing a QP anti-port resolution, after Mayor Richard Sardella politely acceded to the wishes of EDC officials and the Missing Linc by tabling the vote when it first time came up. When it came around again on January 24, the councilors shoved it directly up the noses of a seven-man EDC contingent. We can only believe they attended the meeting to show off their matching dark suits and red ties, or perhaps to inform Sardella they'd be dining at his Newport restaurant after the proceedings.

Yes, we do take credit cards, gentlemen.

Real Vo Dilun theatuh

This Valentine's Day -- next Wednesday -- is your opportunity to experience real Vo Dilun theatuh. No, it's not the Bud-I starring in a road company production of Fiorello!, but pretty darn close. Comedian/cabaret impresario/golfer Charlie Hall is presenting a production of that perennial romantic tearjerker, Love Letters, starring WPRI (Channel 12) anchor (and golfer of note), Karen Adams, and your superior correspondents' favorite TV jurist, Judge Frank Caprio of Caught In Providence fame.

There's only one performance, February 14, at Charlie Hall's Stage (235 Promenade St., Providence). Tickets for the event are $50, which includes dinner, the show, and a post-show reception, or $32.50 for dinner and the show. For reservations, call 621-4141. All proceeds benefit the American Heart Association.

Kudos and congrats . . .

. . . to Scott Molloy, Casa Diablo regular and professor of labor history at the University of Rhode Island. One of the most charismatic and popular teachers on campus, Scott was recently honored with the first-ever national Excellence in Education Award in Labor History from the Industrial Relations Research Association. Scott is also the author of Trolley Wars: Street Car Workers On the Line, and All Aboard: The History of Mass Transportation in Rhode Island.

Professor Molloy comes by a lot of his knowledge of the mass transit industry in real hands-on fashion. He drove RIPTA buses for 11 years, serving for much of that time as an official for his union, the Amalgamated Transit Union (Division 618). A major honor for one of the class acts in Vo Dilun higher education.

. . . to Amy Van "No Chopped Liver" Nostrand, the eminent stage and screen actress, who, your superior correspondents were happy to discover, is heading back to the boards at Trinity Rep for the first time in years in The New England Sonata, opening in March.

Send rumors, Pulitzer-worthy tips, and accolades to p&j[a]phx.com.

---

The P & J archives

---