Shilling in the name of the law

As if public confidence in the police wasn't already flagging, we now have the infamous Los Angeles Police Department recruiting in Little Rhody. Must have been all those reports of supposed racism within the La Prov force that piqued the interest of Rodney King's best friends. The LAPD outreach went so far as to have Joe Friday and Co. run ads last week in the Urinal and our own august organ. Might have been a waste of money for the Phoenix, though, boys. The last cop we saw featured herein was the one from The Village People.

This rather distasteful incursion into the Biggest Little, no doubt equally inspired by our state motto, "Lobsters and Mobsters," was noted by Channel 12. Reporter Danielle North offered up a happy-face report March 2 on WPRI-TV's 11 o'clock broadcast, indicating LAPD recruiters were to be in town two days later, at the Community of College of Rhode Island's Lincoln campus, to look for cadets. At least the report included footage of the Rodney King beating and made a brief aside to the dubious history of LA's finest, but nothing was said of the ongoing, gigantic corruption probe in the City of the Angels.

According to a recent New York Times report, police misconduct that went unchecked for years is expected to cost LA taxpayers $200 million or more in lawsuits by perhaps hundreds of people who were wrongly prosecuted and imprisoned. The matter is being investigated by the state AG, the US attorney and the FBI. Perhaps this is why the LAPD ended up on the wrong coast looking for new talent. But a tip of the beret and sombrero to Ms. North's anchorwoman for mentioning that convicted felons are ineligible to apply. It's an outrage! Where's the goddamn ACLU when you need them!

In a related note, a very eloquent and pointed letter to the editor in the Other Paper on March 6 from P&J's pal and ex-Providence police officer Jeremiah McQueeney, who pointed out the dangers and fallacy of suggesting that all the Capital City's cops are racist. Good on ya, Jerry. And, on the other side of the coin, sleep tight and thanks for the inspiring role model, Mark Fuhrman.

Fashion statement of the week

Members of the Providence Newspaper Guild donned bright green prison uniforms before working the Super Tuesday night shift in the Other Paper's newsroom. The jumpsuits, 63 of which were purchased at Ocean State Job Lot by Guild administrator Tim Schick on a brainstorm, were an oh-so-subtle reminder of labor strife at the Urinal. And even better on a night when a higher concentration of management types were haunting Fountain Street after 5 p.m. Or as Schick explains, "It's a solidarity action for people to show their unity in the face of what the Journal has been doing to Guild members. It's also a way of making a statement about how the types of places, where your working conditions are dictated by fiat, are little more than prisons."

On the bus and off the campus

It looks like it's just going to keep getting busier for the Catholic Church this week, after the furor that erupted with the expulsion of three young men from Providence College for putting up flyers featuring a picture of the Virgin Mary and which read, "How's this for an immaculate concept: Keep Abortion Safe and Legal."

Kinda catchy, P&J thought, but it certainly got the Dominicans' knickers in a twist. The Rev. Augustine Judd, the theology professor who reported the transgression, even went into such overreaction that he accused the perpetrators of intentionally using blue paper for the flyer because it's associated with Marian piety. Hey, Augie, any chance it was because it was the only color Kinko's had in stock that day? And who's this Marian Piety, and what's she doing hanging around with Virgin Mary? Sounds like a couple of loose chicks to us.

And if you think that's in bad taste, PC prez Philip Smith, we kind of feel the same way about your equating what were meant to be thought-provoking flyers with swastikas and racial slurs -- as you did while bouncing off the walls and disgracing your purported institute of higher learning with your harsh punishment of three inquiring minds.

Meanwhile, down at Kennedy Plaza on Tuesday, March 7, members of the 2 to 1: Coalition to Preserve Choice were kicking off their "Pro-Choice or No Choice" ad campaign on the side of RIPTA buses. The ads are wonderfully compelling (and we are certain they will be quite provocative to the Rev. Smith & Co.) to raise awareness about the continuing threat to abortion rights and the importance of this issue in the upcoming presidential campaign. P&J caught a sneak preview of the ads a month ago, and trust us, they have quite a visual impact. We just hope PC students weren't hoping for any RIPTA door-to-door service to their dorms in the near future.

Do the right thing

Quite a compliment during Providence's turmoil around race and Plunder Dome to have Amnesty International in town for its annual meeting. The confab begins Friday, March 10, at the Westin Hotel with a 5 p.m. march to a special WaterFire sponsored by hosts Amnesty International USA. The theme of AIUSA's meeting is "Woman's Human Rights: Challenging Obstacles, Celebrating Triumphs," and the meeting will run through March 12, featuring prominent defenders of woman's and human rights from around the globe. We don't appreciate how good we have it here in the US, even if there is still a good ways to go in protecting the rights of women, until you visit countries where rights are few and advocating for them is dangerous to one's health. Amnesty International's work here and abroad is invaluable, so show your support.

Butt out

The Bad Taste Bell was pealing at Casa Diablo last week as Katie Couric commandeered a Today crew to tape her as she received a colonscopy screening test for colon cancer. While we empathize with Katie's loss of her late husband to colon cancer at an early age, pul-eeze spare us Couric's walking us through the procedure on-air to highlight the risks. Aren't there enough assholes on TV as is?

Photojournalism

Could it be that the good folks over at the BeloJo are determined to keep the primary voting numbers really low on Super Tuesday in the Biggest Little? That's all we could reckon based on the photo spread on the front page of Monday's Other Paper -- the editors seemed to have combed the daily photo ops for all of the major candidates and come up with the most unflattering pics of each.

Here was a shot of Al Gore at the Cranston Senior Center, caught in mid-grimace and wearing a black shirt and sports jacket combo that perfectly matches the ensemble chosen by that noted clotheshorse, Jack Reed. Someone apparently neglected to send the dress code memo to Cranston Mayor John O'Leary, who chose a necktie and light shirt for the occasion. But Mr. Two-by-four certainly fared better than his challenger, Bill Bradley, whose multi-chins were prominently featured, along with a suit so ill-fitting it looked like he borrowed it from Chickie Jackvony's roadside salvage operation.

John McCain appeared to be courting the middle-aged bust-out vote, as his tongue jutted out in an apparent tribute to Gene Simmons of Kiss fame. It seems that McCain, still cognizant of his right flank, had already washed off the clown makeup after rock 'n' rollin' all night and partyin' every day. Dubya Bush looked reasonably sedate, but who was that kid with the distorted face waving a small flag in the foreground? Luckily for Bush, it was the Stars and Stripes, and not a Confederate battle number.

Speaking of news photos, your superior correspondents were a bit taken aback by the caption of an Associated Press photo on A-3 of Sunday's Urinal. It depicted Mamie Till, the mother of Emmett Till, who was described as "the slain civil rights leader." Seems that the folks at the AP and the BeloJo need a little history lesson. Emmett Till was a 14-year-old Chicago boy who was visiting his grandmother in Mississippi. After merely speaking to a white girl in a candy store, he was mutilated and beaten to death in one of the more hideous episodes of racial hatred in the early '60s. It was a major news story in its day. Describing him as a "civil rights leader" is sort of like calling Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg a "a major political figure."

Kudos and congrats . . .

. . . to state Representative Charles Levesque of Portsmouth. In a recent column, your superior correspondents railed against the now common practice in which local banks ignore the authorized Rhode Island identification card as a valid form of photo ID. This prompted Charlie to file legislation to amend the law governing depositor identification (RIGL 19-9-18) and attach a $5000 fine against any institution that would thus discriminate. Let's see what the House leaders, who are connected to some of these check-cashing outfits, do with this proposed legislation.

. . . to the fabulous Julies, Smith and Pell, who, along with Julie S.'s daughter, Elise, withstood some of the most absurd and moronic questioning from a legislator in recent memory. At the House Judiciary Committee meeting last week, where public input was heard on a bill to legalize same-sex marriages, Representative Robert Sullivan, troglodyte Democrat from East Providence, asked Elise if she had a boyfriend. Your superior correspondents would, of course, have retorted "Why, do you?," but Elise and the Julies are made of more gracious stuff than P&J, and left the question unasked. It is our fervent desire that Representative Sullivan go back to his cave and reflect on his idiotic questions.

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