The Best

Food & Drink

Best place to beg for an early heart attack

Sure, it's a dive, but Loui's Diner is a homey dive. From the handmade signs offering a tofu scramble to the reclining chair where Loui takes his mid-morning naps, the diner feels like family. And that's because it is: the Gianfrancesco family has been running it for more than 40 years and has denied Brown University's repeated attempts to buy them out so that Brown could build another academic quad. The menu has evolved from your simple basic grill food to veggie bagels and spinach pie, but the Formica tables, community spirit, and good food stay. On the weekends, it tends to be packed with hungover Brown students, so go early or be prepared to wait on line. If you're an East Side native, you'll probably run into your high-school gym teacher or your next-door neighbor. And if you're extra lucky, Loui himself will give you some paternal advice. (He's been known to tug on young male ears and tell them to stay away from women and to crack open their books.) Loui's advice is free of charge. 286 Brook Street, Providence, 861-5225.

Best Hash-Smash at 3:30 a.m.

It's 3:30 in the morning and you're kind of sauced. You're craving something greasy. Something you wouldn't even think of purchasing on a sober, daylight stomach is suddenly the only thing in the world you can imagine eating. Well, you want to go to Bickford's Family Restaurant. And if you're a lover of corned beef, you want a Hash-Smash (eggs, hash, home fries, juice, $6.99). Or maybe you want to wax your literary side and get Three Little Pigs in a Blanket (sausage and pancakes, $4.69). Bickford's is the sort of place where truckers meet students in the neon glow of the nocturnal world, where someone writes a screenplay about post-Generation-X angst in the corner booth while sucking on a root beer float ($2.29). Go to Bickford's after the best first date of your life and fall in love for sure by each getting a bottomless cup of coffee ($1.25). Or go to Bickford's after you break up with that same first true love and fancy yourself deserving of a plate of french fries ($1.79) and the Tri-State meal (three eggs, three sausages, three pancakes). 969 Bald Hill Road, Warwick, 828-2080; 965 Fall River Avenue, Seekonk, (508) 336-5075; 1460 Mineral Spring Avenue, Providence, 353-9442; 860 Reservoir Avenue, Cranston, 943-6009.

Best Rave of the Wave

Ocean Coffee Roasters has some serious cookies. As their menu points out, they're tasty and "they're huge!" Though their daily selections of baked goods can vary, the hands-down constant winner is the Rave of the Wave cookie. At least six inches wide, the oatmeal, chocolate, and walnut combo cookie ($1.50) can be served warm or cold. Warm, of course, is the best way to have the cookie during one of Providence's infamously gray days of winter, so you should warm up first with a bowl of the best lentil or pasta fagioli soup around ($3.50 with a healthy hunk of hot bread). Also handy to the hordes of college students coming in from the cold (and trying to escape the hideous Sciences Library of Brown University, just across the street from the Providence location) is the unlimited cup of coffee for $1.30. (Coffee's also available through Ocean's mail-order service, 800-598-JAVA.) Non-Brown students beware: you're likely to overhear more than you might want to know about organic chemistry while you're eating your spinach pie (which, the menu proclaims, is Steven Spielberg's favorite menu item). 22 Washington Square, Newport, 846-6060; 510 East Main Road, Middletown, 846-2820; 110 Waterman Street, Providence, 331-5282.

Best homemade jam to slather on toast

Everybody has a favorite breakfast place: one has great home fries, another the best eggs Benedict, still another the heartiest pancakes. Claire's Roadside Café in Portsmouth has all that and more. Owner Claire Reynolds has imagination (hash made from turkey, sausage, chourico, smoked chicken, or corned beef), integrity (real maple syrup for those pancakes), and a sensitive palate -- sour cherry and jalapeño jam was one of the hits from her shelf of conserves, relishes, and jellies for sale. With breakfast, she serves samplings of whatever seasonal jam has just been put up, such as a cinnamon rosehip in early fall or a blackberry-apple-peach combo that captures summer in a jar. Of course, it's hard to order toast for these jams, with tempting fruit pancakes, waffles, and muffins on the menu, but it wouldn't be out of line to gild the lily, so to speak, and top 'em with a dollop of Claire's jam ($3.95 for an eight-ounce jar; $7.45 for sixteen ounces). 1324 West Main Road, Portsmouth, 683-5134.

Best $1.34 breakfast (with tax)

Admit it. Most of us didn't inherit Mom's uncanny ability to flip an over-easy egg. So drop the spatula and stop by Doreen's Place in Warwick. A buck twenty-five gets you two extra-large eggs, home fries, and a choice of toast and coffee. Breakfast is served all day every day (except Fridays, when breakfast service stops at 3 p.m.). Doreen's is a stomping ground for the adjacent Kent County Courthouse employees, as well as area high-school students who need a quick breakfast before a busy day of "bunking" school. Cranston natives Anne and Bill Lombardo, along with son Kenny, opened the doors 10 years ago, and this quaint diner has built a rep for home-cooked grub with friendly service and low prices ever since. Bill, the head cook, is a sweet man and aces with a spatula, while Anne helps out with the waitress duties when things get hectic. And about that two-egg special . . . it usually arrives with three. "Some people look and say that they didn't order three eggs, but if Bill thinks the eggs are too small, he'll give them another one," says Anne. "It's all about family here. Everyone has to pitch in because it gets crazy around here, especially on the weekends, when it's `breakfast only.' "And just like Mom's kitchen, the hours aren't posted on the front window. 35 Quaker Lane, Warwick, 826-2897.

Best step back in time on a Sunday morning

The first diner in the country to be placed on the National Historic Register, Pawtucket's Modern Diner is a Sterling Streamliner, built in the late '30s and early '40s. And when you step inside, you feel transported into a black-and-white film of the era. The rounded ceiling, the wooden booths with brass coat hooks, and the crescent-shaped wooden banquette behind three tables at one end simulate the railway car for which it was named. But people don't come just for the atmosphere -- they come for the portions, the prices, and the updated brunch menu, which runs to omelets with sun-dried tomatoes and feta cheese, French toast stuffed with blueberries and cream cheese, or pumpkin-walnut pancakes, in addition to the more ordinary berry or banana. There are also yummy Italian variations on the theme: grilled polenta with peppers, and eggs broken into a cutout of Italian bread, then sprinkled with parmesan and heaped with fried peppers. Or, if you want to stick with the diner motif, order up the eggs and hash or the Jimmie-Gimme (akin to an Egg McMuffin -- which came first?). Diners originated in Providence, when night-shift workers bought coffee and snacks from horse-drawn canteens. So, how about a little history with breakfast? 364 East Avenue, Pawtucket, 726-8390.

Best way to wake up to tofu

It's true that tofu would not be everyone's choice for breakfast -- or any time of the day for that matter. But for those who have chosen a vegan diet or who have just grown to like tofu (come on, there are a few!), Crazy Burger Café's Mexi-tofu ($4.95) is just the thing. The diced tofu is sautéed with onions, peppers, and chili spices and then mixed with goat cheese (you can ask to hold the cheese) and avocado chunks and served with a side of yellow tomato salsa. For a different ethnic take on bean curd, try Italian tofu ($5.95), which comes scrambled with chickpeas, roasted red peppers, and black olives, and topped with parmesan (or not, according to requests). Crazy Burger also offers a vegan pizza ($6.95) that's topped with tofu, roasted eggplant, grilled portobello mushrooms, and soy cheese. There are many other wonderful things to wake up to at Crazy Burger, including crepes with apple slices, blueberry/cornmeal pancakes, eggs Florentine (with spinach, artichoke hearts, and a terrific Hollandaise), homemade ketchup for the home fries and great smoothies and fresh-squeezed juices -- try the pear-ginger-apple. And don't forget the tofu! 144 Boon Street, Narragansett, 783-1810.

Best place to impersonate a New Yorker

New Yorkers do not eat bagels from the freezer aisle. They don't eat bagels that look like English muffins with holes in the middle. They don't eat bagels that are made in doughnut shops. They don't eat bagels that don't taste like bagels. So if you want to go as an undercover New Yorker, go to Bagel Gourmet on a Sunday morning, buy a baker's dozen of bagels ($6.60) with flavors from plain to blueberry to sunflower, tote the hefty New York Times under your arm, talk about the Hamptons, and make sure to order some lox. If you just want to eat good bagels, go there anytime and get a bagel breakfast of egg and cheese on your choice of bagel ($2.40) -- or a Boar's Head cold-cut sandwich (you could continue the New Yorker impression with a pastrami sandwich) if it's a bit later in the day. Or just try the creative cream cheeses -- jalapeño or sun-dried tomato -- available in regular or nonfat. If you're still being mistaken for a native Rhode Islander after that, rent a lot of De Niro movies and work on your accent. 250 Brook Street, Providence, 453-5560, or fax your order to 273-7790.

Best challah

It seems like such a simple thing, really: bread, basically. A bit heavier than normal, maybe, sweeter, and yet made with no butter. Soft and thick, with a glaze of egg yolk over the top of the broad, twisted braids. And yet people line up outside the door of Kaplan's Bakery for their freshly made challah. We guess that if you do something long enough -- Kaplan's has been around for 20 years, but head baker-owner Barry Kaplan is at least the fourth generation of Kaplan males to be a professional baker -- you get pretty good at it. Not only does Kaplan's make the only kosher challah baked in Rhode Island, but it also serves up fine breads of every variety -- whites and wheats and ryes and pumpernickels, etc. Plus cakes and cookies and old-fashioned Jewish treats like your Grandma in Brooklyn makes: sweet tegallach for New Year's, poppy and prune hamentashen and rugallach throughout the year. Lactose-intolerants note well: everything at Kaplan's is made without milk products, and is strictly Orthodox kosher. 756 Hope Street, Providence, 621-8107.

Best use of what elsewhere would be wasted in muffins

Feisty Rhode Islanders have been known to engage in shouting matches over the proper utilization of cornmeal. (On the floor of the State House in 1922, two representatives almost came to blows as they heatedly debated the virtues of East Bay johnnycakes, made thin, with cold milk, versus the West Bay version, thick, scalded with water.) But never mind the intricacies of Swamp Yankee pancakes -- the supreme transcendence of cornmeal takes place daily at Mike's Kitchen in Cranston. Sprawling inside Tabor-Franchi VFW Post 239, the unassuming Italian restaurant boasts a polenta so dreamily creamy and balanced in flavors, it makes strong foodies weep. It's complemented by a simple meat sauce that Mike cooks for three to four hours to intensify the flavor. Call it cornmeal mush only if you'd call a Kobe T-bone steak a hunk of dead cow. Johanne Killeen and George Germon, of the renowned Al Forno, call Mike Lepizzera's polenta "the best in the world." But if you look up Mike's recipe in their cookbook, Cucina Simpatica, you'll need to adjust the proportion of wet to dry ingredients down to three-to-one to hit Mike's ratio. Better yet, let him do it for you. 170 Randall Street, Cranston, 946-5320.

Best place to order chubs

At the best ethnic food stores, you feel as if you are actually entering another country, as if you might need your passport at any moment. At AMCO Inc. Russian Market, the signs are all in Russian, the newspapers for sale are all in Russian, and the specialties of the house are all from Eastern Europe. And the chubs: we haven't seen so many kinds of smoked fish since we left Brighton Beach. Whole smoked mackerel or shoal for $3.99 a pound, and glorious whitefish for $5.99 a pound, plus salmon, anchovies . . . and these are just some of the specialties owners Tatyana and Eugene Mazo import from Russia, Poland, Germany, and their native Belarus. There are all sorts of pickles, a wide variety of Russian and European candies and sodas, and four flavors of Turkish halvah -- a sesame candy to die for -- for $3.50 a pound. Blackstone Place, 727 East Avenue, Pawtucket, 723-9870.

Best vegetable soup

Seems like an odd concept, really: why don't we put, in our vegetable soup, fresh vegetables? We'll make a broth out of . . . wait, I know . . . fresh vegetables. Let's skip the salt pork most restaurants use in their soup broths and fill it with fresh corn, carrots, lettuce, tomatoes, broccoli, peppers, and whatever other greens we have around the restaurant. That's what the folks at Taco Mexico have been doing since they opened in 1994, and the result is about as tasty as vegetable soup ($2.25) gets. Plus, of course, the Mexican food is fantastic: fat burritos come stuffed with steak, chicken, or vegetarian fillings for a mere $2.75 a pop; two crispy and authentic flautas with rice and beans are $4.25. Meals come with thick, fresh, and crunchy chips and either smoky red or tomatillo green salsa, and they also serve imported Mexican sodas -- tamarind (mmm!) -- and shakes made with out-of-the-ordinary fruits like guava. 250 Brook Street, Providence, 521-7191.

Best deli

It's hard to imagine that anyone could beat the old Miller's Delicatessen, which served up thick deli sandwiches for some 60 years before closing down about a year ago, but Jeff Weener, who took over the Miller's location, is doing pretty well with the fresh ideas and energy that only a new owner can bring. Weener's Lower East Side Deli & Market specializes in the fattest of sandwiches served up New York deli-style, with fine rye bread and mustard covering gigantic mounds of super-thin sliced cold-cuts. The sandwiches aren't cheap -- corned beef runs $7.95 for a large, $8.95 for the cow size; soft beef tongue $7.25/$8.95 -- but, boy, are they tasty. Both the roast beef and turkey breast make for cheaper meals, at $5.95 regular, $7.59 too big to eat. There's also the full range of Jewish specialties -- the Lower East Side is strictly kosher, so don't go asking for any provolone on your pastrami. 774 Hope Street, Providence, 453-6500.

Best calamari for when you're wearing a helmet

Ahhh, the ocean air, fried calamari, and alcoholic beverages -- an aromatic combination that will put a smile on any Rhode Islander's mug no matter the time of year (or time of day). Enjoy all three at the Topside Lounge in Bristol, a prime party locale overlooking beautiful Independence Harbor. You cardiovascular calorie-counting creeps can get in on the fun, too. Hop off the back deck and take a stroll or a ride or a skate on the East Bay bike path, beginning in East Providence and ending up in Topside's backyard. Then order up a heaping plate of golden calamari. Hell, toss a few back and work it off on the bike path on the way home! Think of it as your pot of sautéed gold, if you will, at the end of the rainbow. If you love to eat, drink, and be merry on the water without the highbrow Newport attitude, this is the place to be come spring and summer, and it is the official madhouse of Bristol during the annual Fourth of July chaos. 805 Hope Street, Bristol, 253-1566.

Best lobster dish that doesn't require a bib

It's great to get down and dirty with boiled or even stuffed lobster once each summer, but if once is enough and your craving for the giant crawdad is still kicking in, try the Mount Hope lobster casserole at 15 Point Road. They used to serve this in a lobster "pie" with a flaky crust, but going for a lighter dish, they've cut back on the cream and butter and have instead baked the lobster in sherry, topping it with buttered bread crumbs ($18.50). It's the least messy and most satisfying lobster dish you'll get this side of a genuine lobster roll made in an out-of-the-way café in Maine. As you settle in with your lobster and perhaps a glass of alcohol-free wine (15 Point Road offers two such Sutter Home wines and a choice selection of others, both imported and domestic), take in the view. The restaurant is perched on an isthmus in Island Park and overlooks the expanse of the Sakonnet River in one direction and Blue Hill Cove in the other. It's one of those places that drives home the nickname of the Ocean State. 15 Point Road, Portsmouth, 683-3138 (note: the restaurant is closed in January).

Best place to long for summer on Block Island

Once the summer crowds have gone back to the city and the line up the wooden stairs to Champlin's no longer stretches down to their fish market below, it's a good idea to check out the fresher-than-fresh seafood at this picnic-style eatery. The fried clams, scallops, and fish have one of the lightest batters around (praised in Fodor's), and the boiled lobster dinners and chowders -- red, white, and clear -- are also terrific. Another good reason for checking out Champlin's is the crystal-clear view of Block Island on a fall or winter day. Just a few miles beyond the breakwater and Block Island Sound's sparkling whitecaps, the island looms like Bali Hai, calling to us to break the ties of the mainland and hop the ferry for a day. But the decks at Champlin's -- built onto the original 1932 shed bit by bit, in the style of Popeye's house -- also afford a good place to watch colorful fishing boats steaming in to unload their catch in Galilee. If it's too blustery to be outside, the views are fine from the dining room, whose décor runs to knotty pine and picnic tables -- you can still pretend it's a summer outing! 256 Great Island Road, Galilee, 783-3152.

Best Grandma's kitchen

You remember Sundays at Grandma's -- when you could smell the sauce down the street and tell three blocks away whether she'd made sausage and peppers or meatballs? Or maybe you don't, but you've at least seen movies about old-school Brooklyn. Well, their waiters might not pinch your cheeks at the door like Grandma used to, but eating at Angelo's Civita Farnese comes pretty close to those Sunday eating experiences. When it's crowded, you might have to share a Formica table (just like Grandma used to have!) in the smoking section, where you'll probably hear all about Joey's divorce, or his bad back. All the while, you'll be enjoying the eggplant parmigiana dinner ($3.95), or meatballs and french fries ($2.65), or the veal and peppers ($5.50). It's food so good and honest that you can rest assured that Grandma won't be rolling in her grave. Of course, it'll never really be the same as the real thing. But eating at Angelo's does have its advantages: you don't have to go with your family and you don't have to wait until Sunday to eat there. 141 Atwells Avenue, 621-8171.

Best way to get 15 free hot dogs

First, you should probably fast for a week. Then you should enter Spike's Junkyard Dogs. Order one hot dog. Pay. Eat. Repeat 14 times. If you do it without throwing up, you'll get your money back and your picture on the wall in the "doghouse" (a poster of past winners on the wall of the shop). Warning: this is no feat for the faint of stomach. For that sort of publicity stunt, you'll want to stick to your basic dogs -- even an extra ounce of relish could send your stomach reeling over the chain-link fence. But if you just have a yen for some beef and you don't have a date for the evening, try a "Lonely Guy Dog" (with chopped and sautéed onions, it's a sure kiss-repellent) or a "Texas Ranger" (chili, cheese, and onions) and poodle fries. And now, hard-core vegetarians don't even have to leave Spike's to their frat- boy compadres, as they've recently added vegetarian hot dogs to the menu. Other creative alternatives: the pizza dog (tomato sauce and mozzarella, duh) and brake- pad brownies. Open until 3 a.m. and just next to Dunkin' Donuts, it's the perfect after-hours munchie stop. Just beware of the dog, and, of course, the testosterone. 273 Thayer Street, Providence, 454-1459.

Best pig in a blanket

For you out-of-towners, the term pig in a blanket might conjure thoughts of a bite-sized frank wrapped in dough and served as an hors d'oeuvre at cheesy housewarming parties. But many local pizzerias, especially those with Greek influences, have made their own version, and it's become as much a Rhody staple as the wax paper and greasy brown bag it's served in. Although there are a million tiny Greek joints in Rhode Island (particularly in Kent County), the pig in a blanket at George's Pizza in Warwick is the best. Think of it as a pizza pocket with the base ingredients of red sauce and sausage ($1.50), as opposed to the sauce, mozzarella, and ricotta cheese in a calzone. Another 80 cents gets you "the works," meaning pepperoni, mozzarella, and black olives. Buy a bunch and stock up for the week's lunch. While your chubby, closet-carnivore coworkers ooze disdain -- yet drool -- at the sight of your pig in a blanket, defend your greasy lunch and respond, "Hell yeah, I'm eating healthy -- there's olives in here." 2912 Warwick Avenue, Warwick, 738-5776.

Best Italian restaurant not on Federal Hill

Who says the best Italian joints have to be on Atwells Avenue? Fuggedaboutit. Macera's Soup and Sauce in Cranston definitely can hold its own against the Federal Hill heavyweights. Heading into their fifth year, David and Therese Macera take pride in treating their customers like famiglia. Hell, wrap a pretty blue ribbon around this unassuming gem and transplant it to the Hill and they could easily charge double. (Don't worry, the wine and beer list is also reasonably priced.) Hit the new takeout counter for a gallon of their famous marinara or homemade chicken escarole soup. Just be warned that this place is a madhouse on weekends -- and rightfully so. Grab the circular table in the back corner and let the garlic and olive oil aroma fill your head while you munch on fresh bread from Buono's Bakery and some heavenly calamari ($4.95) or any of their tasty appetizers. The dinner entrées are to die for: the chicken Marsala is a beautiful thing, the stuffed eggplant manicotti and gnocchi in a pink vodka sauce creative and delicious. Seafood, poultry, veal, pasta -- you name it, they got it. 1500 Oaklawn Avenue, Cranston, 463-5303.

Best place for chicken feet

Okay, so some of the meats featured at the Talho Carniceria Central Meat Market won't be popping up in the Joy of Cooking anytime soon. It's still the most old-fashioned butcher house in the city. They've been cutting up gorgeous steaks, pork, and chicken here since the '50s. And, better, if you're looking for something a bit different, Central specializes in ethnic specialties you just won't find at the Super Stop & Shop. Like feet of every variety -- chicken, cow, pork, you name it; like fresh cow tripe; and, for those really special occasions . . . well let's just say that nothing, not one cow part, no matter what it does (or did) or how uncomfortable the thought of separating it from its owner makes you, goes to waste. We kid you not. To wash it down, Central features imported Mexican sodas and nectars. 113 Gano Street, Providence, 751-6935.

Best burger made from fermented soybeans

Where else can you get a veggie burger that gives you a protein kick like a Big Mac? Garden Grille serves up tempeh burgers ($4.50), complete with all the fixin's and the fries, as fast as they can grill them each year at the Newport Folk Festival and year-round at their restaurant in Pawtucket. One of the few nonmeat sources of vitamin B-12, tempeh is well tolerated by fervent tofu-haters, especially when it has been marinated in soy sauce and fresh ginger, as is usually the case when it is made into burgers. At Garden Grille, diners can spread their whole-wheat buns with the usual ketchup, mustard, mayo, or relish. They can also pile on lettuce, tomatoes, sliced red onions, sauerkraut, or pickles. And they can have wood-grilled fries on the side and choose a fresh-pressed vegetable or fruit juice from Garden Grille's array of flavors. 727 East Avenue, Blackstone Place, Pawtucket, 726-2826.

Best clams and clatter

There are some secrets that locals are loath to part with: the fried clams and the fish and chips at "the bowling alley" in Wakefield, officially known as Camden's, are two of them. It all started in the coffee shop attached to Old Mountain Lanes. If you ordered fried clams, scallops, or fish and cleaned your plate, you could ask for free seconds! When the more upscale family-style restaurant known as Camden's opened in the other side of the building, using the same kitchen, the policy remained (although prices on some of the same dishes are 50 cents to $1.25 higher than in the coffee shop). It just depends on whether you want peace and quiet or the occasional shake, rattle, and roll of pins and balls from one of the 24 lanes being used. There are times when league bowling games are being waged, and the din is pretty high. But other times, the clatter and occasional victory whoop offer small-town ambiance. Adjusting to the decibel level, customers often raise their voices, and you can eavesdrop on some good old-fashioned gossip as well. Many places advertise "home cooking," but at Camden's, the food truly tastes homemade. And what could be a more down-home accompaniment than the sound of tenpins falling? 756 Kingstown Road, Wakefield, 782-2328.

Best fried smelts

Nowhere says "Biggest Little" more than the Sandbar restaurant in Bristol. Situated directly on both the bike path and the Bay, it would seem to be a great spot to eat clam cakes and watch Rhode Island's sea breezes push sailboats along the river. That is, if it had any windows facing the water. No, this little concrete building with seating only on the less glorious Route 114 side cares not for image but only for the pure Rhode Island joy on the plate in front of you: classic clam cakes as good as you'll get in the state for $2 a half-dozen; marinated fried smelts for $4.75; red or white chowder at $1.50/$1.75; fried squid with hot peppers for $4.95. Our fave is the seafood special: a huge plate of pasta loaded with shrimp, scallops, squid, and littlenecks in either red or white sauce -- you'll be eating the leftovers for weeks -- for an unbeatable $4.95. There is, of course, plenty of both hot sauce and malt vinegar at each table. Plus, it's a great spot to see weatherman John Ghiorse, just in case you want the Ghiorse factor with your cakes. 775 Hope Street, Bristol, 253-5485.

Best vegetarian Udon soup

When O-Cha started up six years ago on Thayer Street, the brilliant thing about it was that it served up not the best Thai food but the hands-down cheapest. Late-winter weekend nights brought hordes of drunk and hungry students to sample the fried bananas and pad Thai they sold serve-your-self style by the pound. A lot has changed since then, with owner Decha Lao slowly bringing the quirky restaurant upscale. First was an expansion and the addition of both table service and a sushi bar. Then, two years ago, they moved to Wickenden Street. The quality of the food has risen substantially, with cost following slowly. What was $3-a-pound pad Thai now goes for $6.95 a plate. O-Cha boasts one of the more diverse menus on the East Side, with Thai, Japanese, Vietnamese, and Korean specialties all being served under one roof. Their udon noodle soup is especially fine, with fresh and hot vegetable broth, loads of peas and basil and cilantro, and thick Udon noodles -- gobs of freshness at a low $5.75. 221 Wickenden Street, Providence, 421-4699.

Best brewed-on-premises root beer

Drive-ins may still abound in the Southwest, where people don't mind being outside year-round, but in New England, with our three-day summer, they are a bit scarcer. Serving fresh root beer since 1960, the A&W Restaurant is a throwback to American Graffiti-type times. Stay in your car, roll down your window and enjoy all your Rhody faves, such as clam cakes and doughboys, or A&W's infamous bag o' burgers, as a waitress brings your food out on a tray that does, in fact, attach to your window. And, of course, root beer is the bevvy of choice -- not so much something you wash your food down with, but more something you make the trip up Route 44 especially for. Brewed daily, the silky smooth ambrosia runs cheap. For less than five bucks you can get two 20-ouncers served in actual frosty mugs (made of glass and everything!) and a bag of large fries. Add a scoop of ice cream, and you'll pay $1.29 for 16 oz., $1.95 for the 20. Season runs from the second weekend of March through late "Octobuh." 460 Putnam Avenue, Smithfield, 949-9892.

Best direct cholesterol injection

Central Falls, the Square-Mile City, that traditional gourmet paradise. Well, sort of. It has been 66 years since Stanley's started serving up sliders in Central Falls, and although they've cut the late nights recently (they used to go until 2 a.m. on the weekends; now they close at 8 p.m. nightly), it doesn't look like they will turn off the griddle anytime soon. "People just love the burgers," says chef Henry Neves. And for good reason: the patties are insanely good, and served in the classic style -- i.e., if you don't want onions and pickles actually fried up with the beef, you'd better say so beforehand. Sliders cost $1.10 each; add a quarter for cheese or 45 cents for mushrooms. And don't forget the coffee milk and fries: both the Quebec-style fries, topped with mozzarella and gravy, and the Cheddar fries come in at $1.35 for a side, $2.85 for a small, and $3.95 for a large. Don't plan on doing anything athletic for a good two days after the trip. 535 Dexter Street, Central Falls, 726-9689.

Best hangout for eight-year-old food gourmands

The Tyler Point Grille, in a short year and a half, has become one of the East Bay's most popular restaurants. Right on the waterfront, within shouting distance of the local yacht club, it couldn't have a more picturesque location. But for parents of young children, what makes veteran restaurateurs Cheryl and Mario Micheletti's little gem truly special is how they cater to the kids. "We have a five- and a seven-year-old ourselves," explains Cheryl, "and we know how important it is to keep them occupied and amused." Along with an inexpensively priced "Kid's Menu" for the 10-and-under set (featuring a "little shrimps cocktail," "breaded chicken Gabrielle," a grilled pizza, and burgers), the Michelettis offer special silverware for the kids, crayons to keep them occupied while meals are being prepared, and a complimentary Mickey Mouse-shaped Jell-O dessert. On holidays and other special occasions, the owners have been known to pick up a bunch of lollipops to dole out to the kiddies. So if you have young kids and you're a little edgy about bringing them out to dine with you, the Tyler Point Grille is one place where they won't just be tolerated but welcomed with open arms. 32 Barton Avenue, Barrington, 247-0017.

Best dining al fresco

They started out under a spreading tree next to a farm stand in Little Compton. Now, at their in-town location next to an herb garden on Point Street in Providence, Olga Bravo and Becky Wagner, chef-owners of Olga's Cup and Saucer, have created a country oasis in the bustling Jewelry District. They planted artemesia and zinnias, iris and phlox, among the parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. They added wooden banquettes around the trees and next to the fence. They put in a fieldstone patio with one large table rock at the corner and added Wagner's whimsical tables, creating seating for almost three dozen people. Some tables are mushrooms formed from beach stones and mortar (with a few shells and even a die thrown into the mosaic); others are curvaceous wrought-iron with porcelain-leaf pieces laid into the tops. By now, most customers take the surroundings for granted, but the food is always a surprise. There's an ever changing medley of fresh-baked breads and desserts here, plus inspired sandwiches like black bean, wood-grilled vegetables, and lime/tomato salsa wrapped in a tortilla. Or try the grilled swordfish salad with sautéed chard and vegetables. 103 Point Street, Providence, 831-6666.

Best place to take a bite out of Providence Mayor Vincent Cianci

Their menu says they're queer-friendly, but Geoff's has made its service reputation on being everything but friendly. With sharp-tongued counter help shouting out trivia questions to waiting customers, Geoff's is most famous for its biting personality. And the shop's personality shows best in its quirky variety of sandwiches. Customers can choose from concoctions ranging from the Phillipe & Jorge (spinach, cheese, mushrooms, pepperoncini, tomatoes, and onions) to the Kiss (roast beef, hot sauce, American cheese, and Russian dressing) to the Bermuda Triangle (sardines, onions, and lemon juice) to the Havarti 5-0 (Havarti cheese with cranberry and tiger sauce). All sandwiches are made at your instruction (just be sure to stay on your toes, as they can get quite demanding when they need to know if you want celery salt) and on your choice of bread. Customers also can help themselves to as many pickles as they can eat without offending their friends. Geoff's also might be just the only place where you can take a big bite of Buddy Cianci (Genoa salami and provolone cheese) and not get arrested. 163 Benefit, 751-2248; Thayer and Angell Street, Providence, 751-9214.

Best place to trust the chef's specials

As with any other marriage, a relationship with a restaurant you love is based on trust. You just have to believe that the kitchen has your best interests at heart or the magic is gone. If you get the idea that their choice of olive oil was based solely on price, for example, you know that anything could happen: the veal chop that the dog ran off with could have been shaken dry and tossed back onto your plate. Well, you can trust Bill Calise, the chef at Federal Hill's Casa Christine, with your cardiac surgery, never mind your linguini puttanesca. Italian food is only as good as its ingredients. Is the rabe fresh, the veal Provimi? Trust us, they are at Casa Christine. 145 Spruce Street, Providence, 453-6255.

Best Manhattan

There are noble quests -- for holy grails and for peace in our time, for instance. There are adventurous quests -- for the perfect wave, the most worthy kung fu adversary. And then there are personally meaningful, though trivial, quests, like the one for the perfect Manhattan. It's not like asking for an exotic concoction with coconut milk and three kinds of rum and or even for a hard-to-find brand of liquor, some single-malt with a name like a hacking cough, distilled only in the full-moon mist in some Orkney Island cove. What most of us want is simply two parts bourbon, one part sweet vermouth, a splash of Angostura bitters, a shake with ice, and a pour with a pleasant smile. This is not rocket science. This isn't even chemistry. Unlike James Bond sniffing his perfect martini, if someone stirs rather than shakes it, most of us will, in fact, let that bartender live. Yet it is as though the Coca-Cola recipe were being held for ransom and we have to settle for Royal Crown Cola. Well, fret no more, Manhattan-lovers; quench your thirst at Davio's. They know the secret recipe to success. Omni Biltmore Hotel, Kennedy Plaza, Providence, 274-4810.

Best restaurant to wait for a table

You get to a restaurant and you sigh. The hostess tells you that there's at least a 20-minute wait. Usually, you turn around and go to the Subway around the corner. If you're at the Providence Bookstore Café, you say, "Great, I'll just borrow a book!" Although the PBC no longer boasts the same in-restaurant bookstore that it used to (the bookstore has moved across the street), it still has a few bookshelves in its waiting area. With the plush sofas and eclectic lighting design, it's a bit like waiting for a meal in your own living room -- only with someone else's books. Of course, even the best literary selection wouldn't justify the wait if the meal itself wasn't incredible. And here it usually is. You can begin by consuming a prologue of sorts with the jambalaya cakes ($5.95) or "John's favorite calamari" with pepperoncini ($8.95). Chapter one might include a salad or a vegetarian white pizza with artichokes and sun-dried tomatoes ($9.95). Move on to one of the specialty entrées -- such as the whiskey chicken ($14.95) or the oven-poached barbecued salmon with Jack Daniels ($16.95) -- and to all those teetotalers out there, the alcohol really does get cooked out. Your epilogue might be a taste of the "Never on Sundae" -- a brownie with a healthy helping of vanilla ice cream ($4.95). 500 Angell Street, Providence, 521-5536.

Best vertical food

Many nouveau chefs have picked up on the eye-catching, palate-tantalizing look of food that rises up from the plate rather than creeping around its edges. Sometimes the attention to sculpture is so strong, it detracts from what is actually cooked. But at XO Café, this is not the case. Whether it's the portobello-mushroom fries, which are tempura-fried and then crisscrossed to form a three-and-a-half-inch stack, or the half-dozen pieces of teriyaki-style swordfish skewered and served vertically on a pu-pu platter grill, the effect is thrilling. Another seafood dish, the seared Chilean sea bass, is served atop a roasted yucca cake with pea shoots on the third story. The oven-roasted vegetable Napoleon layers the veggies with shiitake polenta, fresh mozzarella, and yellow tomato fondue. Even the desserts get the tower treatment when you order the crème brûlée tray (chocolate, white chocolate, and anise) or the selection of sorbets (a triangular wrought-iron structure holds three small bowls with your trio of flavors). Certainly, your enjoyment of your meal at XO Café will reach new heights. 125 North Main Street, Providence, 273-9090.

Best wine that tastes like turpentine

If you've ever traveled in Greece, you know that wonderful turpentine-flavored wine called retsina: sometimes it's so harsh you would swear it was more pine than wine; sometimes it's so smooth, it's as if a pleasant herb had wafted over the liquid. Treated with pine resin by the Greeks for the past 3000 years, retsina is either white or rose. At Mykonos, retsina is not on the wine list, but owner Nick keeps it in his wine cellar and will bring it out upon request. So request it -- he keeps great retsina (and nicely chilled, too) that's a perfect complement to the Greek and Italian dishes on his menu. And these are nothing to stint on themselves. The mussels Mykonos ($8.95) are shelled and then sautéed with hefty garlic chunks, butter, wine, and fresh sprigs of thyme and oregano. The light and airy cod Mykonos ($7.95) is baked with fresh plum tomatoes, diced scallions, and sliced lemons. Other Greek-style dishes include oven-baked eggplant with four cheeses, shrimp with feta, a Greek sausage plate, and dilled lemon chicken. Mykonos also has chowder, fish-and-chips, pizzas, and specialty meat dishes, such as excellent duck with cherry sauce (for only $10.50). But don't neglect the retsina! 1848 Main Road, Tiverton, 625-5780.

Best dinner as theater

Take the lightning-speed slicing and dicing of a sushi bar, add the split-second timing of a TV chef, and top it with a liberal dose of clowning and juggling and you have a good idea of what awaits you at the Japanese restaurant and steakhouse Oki. Eating at Oki is as much a theatrical event as a gustatory one, with your own attending chef cooking on a gas grill just inches from your plate. With the off-handed confidence of practiced magicians, they prepare up to eight entrées at a time, along with flambéed shrimp appetizers and stir-fried veggies. Oki high jinks are numerous. Decked out in tall hats and knotted kerchiefs, these performing cooks begin the show with a few twirls of a knife and spatula, then a toss and catch (behind the back or in the top of their hat) of the hefty salt and pepper shakers. One chef dexterously removes the shrimp tails, flicking one to the right, one to the left, and the remaining 14 toward the footlights, catching each in a small bowl only millimeters from the startled diners. Another lights a spoonful of vodka on the grill and brushes the blue flames onto the shrimp with the side of his hand! Dinner choices include steak, chicken, seafood, or combos of these, and each dinner comes with the flambéed shrimp, soup, salad, veggies, rice, and tea. 1270 Mineral Spring Avenue, North Providence, 728-7970.

Best Indian appetizers and beverages

Certain foods are standard fare at Indian restaurants -- papadum (crisp and spicy wafers made from chickpea or lentil flour), samosas (turnovers stuffed with vegetables), and paratha (fresh-baked pita-like bread stuffed with vegetables). But at India, two unusual appetizers (called Bombay street snacks in their first incarnation at Curry in a Hurry) are favorites with everyone. Paapri chaat is a bit like nachos, although the chips are made with chickpea flour and the salsa is a blend of tamarind chutney, yogurt, chopped red onion, fresh cilantro, and chickpeas themselves. Bhel puri is an Indian "party mix" -- dried lentils and green peas with other "crispies," nuts, and raisins. It has that slightly fiery, slightly tangy taste that is as addicting as vinegared potato chips. To cool down these mouth-warming starters, India also makes a terrific mango lassi (mango purée, yogurt, ice cubes, and a dash of honey) and a soothing cardamom tea. 758 Hope Street, Providence, 421-2600; 123 Dorrance Street, Providence, 278-2000.

Best Chinese dish with an Italian twist

It's adaptive coloration. In a state in which 70 percent of the population comes from Italian heritage, it's understandable that the influence of Italian cuisine would creep into other kitchens. So it isn't a great surprise that in the most imaginative Chinese kitchen in the state -- Eugene Ma's at Ocean View -- ingredients like pepperoncini and olives turn up in a seafood stir-fry, appropriately called Narragansett Surprise ($11). In this particular dish, there are also deep-sea scallops, baby shrimp, green-pepper chunks, and bamboo shoots: Szechuan meets Sicilian. About two years ago, Ocean View added to their vegetarian offerings, and one of the newcomers was "egg noodles in chef's special green sauce" ($11), which was described as a "much more tasty pesto sauce" made from Oriental leeks, fresh spinach, and fresh garlic. Indeed, it lives up to its description, and this sauce is now served on noodles or Chinese linguine in vegetarian, seafood, and chicken variations. Marco Polo would be proud that his cross-cultural cuisine exchange is alive and well in Rhode Island. 140 Point Judith Road, Mariner Square, Narragansett, 783-9070.

Best ballads and bacalhaú

Although dishes made with salted cod (bacalhaú in Portuguese) can be an acquired taste, if the cod is soaked, as it is at Estrela do Mar, for three days, with the water changed each day, then the salt quotient is considerably lowered. At Estrela, the regular menu offers bacalhaú na brasa, charcoal-broiled with boiled potatoes, and bacalhaú na Canoa, baked with potatoes, onions, and a "special" sauce. Both are very tasty, although the second is less salty, since the potatoes soak up some in the baking. Confident of their cod, the cooks at Estrela sometimes will try other sauces or preparations, such as bacalhaú saloia, dipped in flour and sautéed in butter. Other seafood dishes at Estrela, including the mariscada (lobster, shrimp, scallops, littlenecks, squid, and fish) and the shrimp in garlic and lemon sauce, are also excellent. And they go well with the Iberian "green" wines. On Fridays and Saturdays, dinners at Estrela are accompanied by a strolling and singing guitarist, who performs in English and Portuguese (and even Spanish and Italian). So just think: if the bacalhaú is too salty, it can flow out in your tears. 736 North Broadway, East Providence, 434-5130.

Best use of the state mollusk

Don Bosquet cartoons aside, the funniest use of a quahog is at the Jamestown Oyster Bar. (Quahogs start out in youth as those sweet little cherrystone clams. When they fall in with the wrong crowd, they bulk up with steroids, or whatever, and emulate those South Pacific mollusks that pearl divers were always getting a foot trapped in in early Technicolor flicks.) Quahog chili is a specialité de la maison, and it's no joke. Chunks of clam and red beans in every bite, it's thick, it's heavy on the tomato, and it has a spicy back-of-the-palate heat that's not for wimps but doesn't pound its chest (or make you pound yours) either. And for $2.95 a cup and $3.95 a bowl, it's not just for the tourists. Is the stuff very popular? "Yeah, it's awesome," says the bartender, perhaps about the clamor, perhaps about the chili. Either way, evidence is in that until McDonald's comes out with McQuahog, this is the way to be patriotic the Ocean State way. 22 Narragansett Avenue, Jamestown, 423-3380.

Best place to watch Buddy "holding court"

Mediterraneo, an ultra-glitzy Italian joint at the beginning of all the good stuff on Federal Hill, may specialize in style. But then again, so does our beloved Mayor Cianci. The restaurant, which opened in March '97, is the perfect spot for people-watching, and particularly Buddy-watching. The city chief dines there on occasion and has a revolving door of guests, mostly women, at his table. We asked his driver, who has to wait outside for El Che, how often the Bud took his newfound friends back to Benefit Street. He said often enough (but not that particular night). Though Mediterraneo oozes image concern, they can definitely back it up with some fine chow. Executive chefs Lois Forti and Jackson DeNoyan serve up a mean plate of gnocchi sorrentina with mozzarella, marinara sauce, and fresh basil for a relatively inexpensive $13.95, and we love the shellfish appetizer of clams and muscles in plum-tomato sauce, red pepper seed, and white wine ($9.95). 134 Atwells Avenue, Providence, 331-7760.

Best place to get stewed on sangria while eating alligator

Way back in the day when the tabletop Pac-Man near the front door (how's that for old-school nostalgia?!) kept the kids entertained while they waited for a heaping platter of tacos, rice, and those funky refried beans, life was simple yet grand. But the arrival of a 21st birthday made it a whole lot better -- enter Tortilla Flats' sangria, a potent yet tasty concoction ($3 per glass or $10 for a pitcher) that will knock your socks off. Bartender Mike Moore won't disclose the Flats's secret recipe, but he does say that "red wine, three different liquors, fresh fruit, and a few other surprises" are contained therein. And he promises that "a pitcher of sangria will definitely take care of ya." Hola, hangover. Chomp on the fresh fruit marinating in the pitcher, rind and all -- it's the tequila worm of sangria. Get in there before the kitchen closes (11 p.m. on weekends) and indulge in the "farm-raised Louisiana alligator" appetizer ($6.95) as well. It's damn tasty, and no, it doesn't taste like chicken. 355 Hope Street, Providence, 751-6777.

Best solo beer bash

With microbreweries becoming almost as ubiquitous as Wal-Marts, it's getting harder and harder to find a bar that rivals its beer in taste. A place that offers draught opportunities in style (a big tree in the middle of the dining area and 69 different kinds) is the Mews Tavern in Wakefield. A typical week sees the taps drawing close to 5000 pints. And a safe bet to try is the Guinness-killer Beamish Stout, a powerful, smoky brew from the Scots. You also might be curious to try the richly full-bodied John Courage, which replaced the rum ration for the Royal Navy. Or maybe you'll want a beer bolstered with such flavors as honey, coriander, or orange peel. A great one is the very popular Magic Hat No. 9, a hint of apricot making a delicate complement to an already flavorful ale. Sampler racks are $6 for four glasses, $8 for six. And it doesn't hurt that the tavern sports a kitchen that really knows its stuff as well. Try their teriyaki wings and you'll never want to go back to Buffalo again. 456 Main Street, Wakefield, 783-9370.

Best non-vampire use for garlic

Move over, Marcel Proust -- when it comes to a taste or aroma triggering a flood of salivating memories, one clove of garlic (especially garlic sautéed in olive oil) is worth a truckload of madeleines. After all, they found four bulbs of garlic in the tomb of King Tut -- a decision that probably could be traced to the aroma of his mama's cooking. (Hey, maybe garlic wards off vampires by making them nostalgic about a homemade meal as well.) In the kitchen at the Spanish Tavern in Narragansett, they regard garlic like the fervidly pious regard holy water -- it should be dispensed in all directions. Spinach with garlic and pine nuts. Chicken under a garlicky brown sauce. Artichokes with a delicate garlic/cream sauce. Seafood mariscada with pearly chunks as plentiful as jimmies on an ice cream cone. There is even a chicken broth-based garlic soup. (When cooked, garlic becomes quite mellow.) But look for dishes that end in al ajillo if you want the flavor to pop into the foreground. Ajillo is a Spanish expression meaning heavenly. 1 Beach Street, Narragansett, 783-3550.

Best occidental sweet & sour taste treat

In the shops that line the highway heading north out of Key West, second chances beckon. The T-shirts and shells and trinkets are easy enough to resist, but it would take a tourist of iron to pass up the ultimate temptation: fixin's for Key lime pie. The size of large walnuts, round rather than lemon-shaped, the tropical fruit has a virtue unknown to your ordinary Yankee lime -- high acidity, which gives it more pucker and concentrated flavor. And now you can order a slice of the Keys right here in Rhode Island. While the Key lime pie at Atomic Grill may look like a Mardi Gras version of the real thing, it's got the right stuff. A tracery of caramelized sugar towers above it like a 3-D scribble in brown crayon. A pink dollop of strawberry whipped cream adds more color. And beneath it all is the guest of honor. The wedge of curd filling is the proper pale yellow rather than green, from egg yolks and juice. It is sweet from condensed milk and sugar, yet plenty tart from the exotic fruit. Just take a bite, close your eyes and hear the strains of "Margaritaville" drifting down Duval from Jimmy Buffet's. 99 Chestnut Street, Providence, 621-8888.

Best place for a late-night sip or sup

Despite its increasing cosmopolitan air, Providence still can seem quite inhospitable when you come out of a show at 11 p.m. and you're craving a warm drink or a cup of soup. Never fear -- one place that has kept a light on for you for the last 25 years is 3 Steeple Street. Open until 1 a.m. seven days a week, the restaurant's rough brick walls with open-beamed low ceilings imbue it with that enfolding Old World intimacy of cellar pubs in Germany. Indeed, the bar is always well-stocked with dark beer, and you can order sauerkraut, hand-cut fries or German potato salad with one of Steeple Street's hefty sandwiches. For a heartier dose of German cuisine, there's a bratwurst and bockwurst plate, with your choice of one, two or three of these tasty sausages. You might get so inspired here that you link arms with fellow imbibers and begin to sway to choruses of "In München steht ein Hofbrauhaus, eins, zwei, sofa!" Although this is often the feel at Steeple Street on a busy weekend night, on week nights it can be a quiet haven for gazing longingly at that certain someone over a steaming bowl of extra-tomatoey minestrone, a house special. 3 Steeple Street, Providence, 272-3620.

Best nonchocolate caloric sinning

No question, the bismarks at West's South County Bakery in Hope Valley would be illegal in a Southern Baptist state. It's a good idea not to question the siren call of these sweet, zaftig beauties as you navigate the rocks of cholesterol and caloric excess. Why sully the bliss with thoughts of hardening arteries? Every day, George West makes these hot-dog-bun-shaped clouds of pastry and whipped cream and raspberry jelly that melt on the tongue and waft straight to the soul. Seventy-five cents each, $8.25 a dozen. Get there early, because the hundreds made daily are usually gone by midday. And buy lots, because even a Mother Teresa wouldn't get home with them all. Eat up -- they won't keep. Refrigeration makes the butterfat glob and turns the sponge cake to cellulose. Ten years ago Yankee magazine discovered them, then P.M. Magazine, and the world began arriving at their door (which is convenient to I-95). West says that people with a bismark jones have even called from around the country, begging him to ship some out in the fashion of ice-packed lobsters. Let them eat cake. Junction of Rtes. 3 and 138, Hope Valley, 539-2451.

Best fruit-inspired desserts

Many people think of dessert only in terms of chocolate, but some of the most creative chefs start with nature's sweets -- fruits of all kinds -- and embellish them with their own particular flair. This is particularly true at Al Forno, where cochef-owner Johanne Killeen has taken pies and tarts to a new level. A survey of a summer dessert menu at Al Forno's downstairs component, Provincia, makes the point: a fresh fig tart, a pineapple gratin (mascarpone custard and lightly sweetened fruit are heated together in a quick oven and flash-broiled to create the brown gratin), an apricot tart tatin (butter, sugar, and apricots are covered with a pastry crust and inverted when served), a triple-grape gâteau, an almond and apple tart, a candied rhubarb upside- down cake, and a spectacular orange marmalade tart with four-inch-high lavender meringue. Al Forno's lemon meringue tart won a GQ "Golden Plate Award" a few years back, and their pomegranate granita gives new meaning to frozen desserts. Almost all desserts at Al Forno are made to order, and they must be selected with your entrée. Never fear -- you'll find plenty of room for these stunning stars of the dessert world! 577 South Main Street, Providence, 273-9760.

Best nontrendy trick with raspberries

Forget the vinaigrettes, the marinades, the pasta sauces, even the cheery surprise of raspberries in a green salad. Put those ruby jewels in a pie and bake 'em up! Nobody does it quite as good as Phoebe Dunn at Phoebe's, in Seekonk, Massachusetts. For the last 22 years, Phoebe's light, flaky crusts with juicy and tart fruit fillings have been wowing customers by the piece or by the pie ($12, plus a $4 pie-plate deposit). Phoebe sticks close to seasonal fruits, many from her garden, and apple and apple-cranberry pies are winter staples. She will, however, bake pies on special order if the fruit can be found at a nearby market. To get to the dining rooms at Phoebe's, with their justly renowned seafood dishes, you must pass through the kitchen, where you will see a three-tiered pie holder. It's a good idea to ask what pies are available and to place a hold on your favorite. Otherwise, you might watch it being erased from the blackboard as you linger over your broiled ginger scallops or fried clams and home-cut fries. 663 Fall River Avenue, Seekonk, MA, (508) 336-6295.

Best death-by-chocolate dessert

Every restaurant worth its Cuisinart has one, whether they connect it with mortality or not. The typical attempt is to offer the most intensely rich chocolate concoction possible, but since the molecular weight of the chocolate atom has to be finite, this is usually a dead-end. Better is to go for different varieties of chocolate in a single dessert, a kind of smorgasbord of chocolatosity in one parfait or layered wedge. Not a bad approach, but rather schematic. The art of chocolate desserts requires subtlety and surprise. The eyebrows need to pop up as much as the taste buds need to be tantalized. The Rhumbline, in Newport, goes for this approach in a family-recipe specialty. Nana's Chocolate Bread Pudding ($4.25), served hot with vanilla ice cream, is the kind of chocolate experience that makes an assortment of appreciators shout "Eureka!" in chorus. Your traditionalists of the New England bread cube-and-egg concoction get their consciousness raised. Your dessert chefs start thinking of variations (Chocolate-baked ziti? No . . . Chocolate tuna casserole? No . . .). And your chocoholics just whimper, relax, and beam. 62 Bridge Street, Newport, 849-6950.

Best Buffalo wings at 1:45 a.m.

"For chrissake, where's a pay phone? If I don't eat, I'm gonna kill somebody." You may have heard these words echoing through the streets some weekend in downtown Providence. It could've been your own pie-eyed friend who was panic-stricken at the fact that it was almost 2 a.m. -- and he had a drunken jones for buffalo wings. Skip last call and race over to Wings to Go on Thayer Street (with two other locations in East Providence and Johnston). With everything from honey-mustard to "homicide" wings (16 different sauces are available), Wings to Go will annihilate your munchies, and the tear-jerking "suicide" sauce will burn off your impending hangover (although you'll awaken six hours later in the fetal position because your small intestine will be hosting a royal rumble of beer, tequila, and buffalo wings). If you're with a group of people, break open a 20-piece ($7.95) while driving home. Hey, the munchies wait for no one. 272 Thayer Street, Providence, 454-0511.

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