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Best reward for a successful diet

Why do people avoid the subject when someone has obviously lost weight? Those pounds were not kidnapped and slain. The affected party is not in mourning. He or she is happy, proud. This is the perfect occasion for a Newport Gourmet gift basket of food treats. For $25 to $60, you can display your faith that this person was never some trembling junk food junkie headed for the gutter with cookies on their breath. They can handle a taste treat. There is "Tropical Treasures," a wicker chest full of Caribbean goodies from macadamia nuts to key lime cake. "The Orient Express" contains stir fry oils, marinades and rice mixes. Or give "The Greek Isles," with its Kalamata olives and taramosalata. Lick your lips when you hand it over and maybe they'll share. The Market on the Boulevard, 43 Memorial Boulevard, Newport, (401) 848-2600, www.newportgourmet.com/Baskets.html.

Best place to get fitted

From buckets (aka Gilligan or fisherman) to visors, Lids is the one-stop shop for headgear, particularly the popular "fitted" styles (ranging from $15 to 25). From Fred Durst to slain rap icon Big L, the fitted lid has become a staple of style. Lids stocks hot Major League Baseball varieties, "The Pro" NFL sideline hats, and a sweet two-for-$30 deal from 108 colleges -- in every color imaginable. If the Providence Place location doesn't have it, the Lids Website (www.lids.com) will. Browse by style, sport, or punch in a team and break out the credit card, and a measuring tape (the "Lids melon meter") is sent with a fitted online purchase. The new "easy fit" lids are a modern marvel, available in standard sizing (S to XL) for added convenience and those of us with a noodle teetering between sizes. And please "break in" the visor or risk looking like a doofus pro baseball manager -- wrap a rubber band tightly around the brim for a few minutes while curling with both hands, and it's ready to go. Buy seven and get the eighth free. Providence Place Mall, (401) 270-4520.

Best place to wax nostalgic

How amazing that Restoration Hardware hasn't been closed down as a public menace for inducing mass nostalgia, inducing mall gridlock at outlets nationwide as Baby Boomers stand transfixed in the high beams of their childhood memories. Although the place's main purpose is to help you refurbish your old Victorian duplex, the list of 1950s tchotchkes they sell seems endless: vintage junk food, such as Atomic Fire Balls (25 cents a box) and Moon Pies (75 cents); once-popular toys, such as marbles, Duncan yo-yos, balsa wood gliders, and even a Mr. Wizard Science Set ($19.95); ancient high-tech items once available only in comic book ads, such as a replica of a 1957 crystal radio ($10), and even an authentic No. 15 Big Bang Cannon ($125), powered by water and powdered calcium carbide "ammo," which has thrilled little boys of all ages since 1912. Don't worry -- a salesperson will snap you out of it if you stare too long. Providence Place Mall, (401) 243-0620, www.restorationhardware.com.

Best new used CDs

Over the past six years, Newbury Comics in Warwick has become the state landmark for pop culture merchandising, particularly for the Gen-whatever crowd. And amongst the boy band propaganda, Manic Panic, and assorted silliness, is arguably the best selection for discs (and wax) in the state (including a newly expanded house and techno section). Earlier this year, the Allston, Massachusetts-based chain caught onto the used CD thing, and has quickly become one of the best spots in the state for buying and selling used discs and DVDs. They give more than the usual buck for used CDs, and are priced accordingly. This is the place to bolster the collection with tons of $4.99 discs, out of print gems (the Prime Minister Pete Nice solo album a score at $2.99!), fairly priced box sets, and about every used soundtrack imaginable. The service is friendly for the most part -- and aware that you are probably pillaging the collection to get high all weekend, but who cares. It works out for everybody, particularly Newbury Comics -- how can anyone walk out of that store without buying something? 1500 Bald Hill Road, Warwick, (401) 821-3170.

Best source for pitas, pepitas, and pistachios

This market/bakery is neither Greek nor Mexican, for Baroudi's is proudly a Middle East grocery and bake shop. But certain ingredients cross national boundaries. Take those pita (and customers take a couple dozen at a time). Not only are they baked fresh at Baroudi's, they are topped with spinach, olives, and feta, like a mini-pizza, or with fresh tomatoes and feta. Or they are folded around unidentifiable herbs that whisk you faster than a magic carpet to Eastern lands. Large tubs of feta and six kinds of olives (three green, three black), at rock-bottom prices, are for sale next to the counter laden with pitas. Over on the shelves are bulk-packaged couscous, garbanzos, pepitas (pumpkin seeds), pistachios, and many, many herbs -- everything you need for authentic falafel or tabouleh. Imported items, such as Syrian apricot paste, Saudi date cookies, or rosewater soda fill out your menu. 580 Chalkstone Avenue, Providence, (401) 274-0899.

Best hand-crafted rattle for your little Pinocchio

Carved out of one piece of wood, Elwood Turner baby rattles are available at Uncle Sig's Toy Store, along with playthings to enhance, or prompt, the fantasy life of the most jaded of couch potato-seedlings. There are herds and packs of stuffed animals by Steiff, et al. -- one weird blue critter in the Charlene Kinser line has reflector eyes and holds a flashlight. There's a whole rack of Bendos ($5), little posable wire-limb figures. If your poppet is into puppets, there are Bozart marionettes, such as a dragon, a wizard, and a princess ($30). And speaking of princesses, always a favorite make-believe role, Uncle Sig's has that costume and plenty more: she can be a bee or a ballerina or a mermaid; he can be an astronaut or a doggie or, what the hell, a geisha. 808 Hope Street, Providence, (401) 453-5334.

Best bribes for your sofa-clawing catnip fiend

You know that yelling at them doesn't work. You've learned that begging them only convinces them their power is growing stronger. Cats are not like ordinary pets. The Egyptians worshiped them, and ever since they have considered such obeisance their due. So your only hope to save your furniture is to present them with periodic tribute. At Paws and Claws you can stock up on a wide variety of toys, snacks and, of course, drugs. Odyssey Catnip, known as "Meowie Wowie," goes for $2.99 for a 2-ounce bag. (If there are no helicopter patrols over your neighborhood, you can grow your own with catnip garden starters, $1.75 for two.) Or try Alaskan Chum Chips ($3 an ounce) or canned salmon ($1.99). A tip: when you give it to them, don't forget to make a little bow. 23 Narragansett Avenue, Jamestown, (401) 423-9677, Christy's Wharf, Newport, (877) 244-PAWS, pawsandclaws.com.

Best place to buy condoms at 2 a.m.

Caveat emptor: the place might be called Store 24, but that doesn't mean it's open 'round the clock, at least not at the Thayer Street outpost on Providence's East Side. I found this out the hard way, literally, after being turned away at the stroke of the store's 2 a.m. closing one night. This wasn't just some casual quest for a newspaper or Snickers bar. Despite my certainty that there were prophylactics in the house, I'd been unable to find any, and a sexy, naked lass was patiently waiting to resume our embrace back at the ranch. In this scenario, a store whose very name indicates eternal access would be the desired destination, right? But, because of an obscure zoning rule, the Store 24 on Thayer closes at 2. Although unmerciful in turning me away, the clerks were decent enough to refer me to a real 24 store -- the Shell station around the corner. Late-night transactions are conducted through a bank-deposit drawer, but the place, bless them, does stock condoms. Angell Street, on the block below Thayer Street.

Best bone-crushing gifts

Nantucket whalers were great recyclers, turning whalebone and teeth into decoratively carved items. Newport resident and scrimshaw artist Brian Kiracofe carries on the tradition at Newport Scrimshanders, where at least 50 percent of the pieces in the store have been hand-carved by owner and scrimshander Kiracofe. He and other local artists engrave sperm whale teeth and carve whale vertebrae (all with paperwork to show those items were in this country before '72). They also do handles for custom knives, carvings on Nantucket lightship baskets, restorations on antique ivory, and appraisals. Kiracofe's two brothers are also scrimshanders, a term once used for a "lazy individual." But when the hard work of the whale hunt was over and the sought-after oil had been retrieved, it was a clever and creative whaler who grabbed the detritus of bones and teeth and turned them into such durable art. 14 Bowen's Wharf, Newport, (401) 849-5680, or (800) 635-5234.

Best squirt guns in disguise

Remember those water balloons you left in the sun until they turned into "poison juice" to hoist at the kid next door? Or those spiders you threw at your favorite girl cousin, just to hear her squeal? Nowadays, you can be gross and scary at the same time! Just check out the "phobic corner" of the World Store, where spiders, coral snakes, stink bugs, sharks, and porcupine fish can all be converted to squirt guns that are also -- look out! -- educational! Owners Dale and Jim Grogan are so in the natural world that all of the toys they sell -- from flamingo pens to ant farms -- have a scientific basis, with explanations on the labels. For grown-up kids, the Grogans also carry birdhouses, bat condos, flower presses, Adopt-a-Whale kits, beach rock vases, pet supplies, and much more. Ask Jim to show you the "tornado tube" and the magic wand kaleidoscope, both as mesmerizing as they are imaginative. The World Store, 16 West Main Street, Wickford, (401) 295-0081.

Best place to neutralize gender roles

The do-it-yourselfer has made Home Depot the one-stop destination for virtually anything a handyman or -woman needs. But there's another reason to head to the huge orange-framed mecca: they offer free home-improvement lessons. The list of clinics changes each month, but they are usually scheduled weeknights at 7 and on Saturday mornings at 10. Recent offerings have included the simple, such as installing a storm door and sealing a driveway; as well as better-not-guess subjects, such as laying down ceramic tile and countertops. In this idyllic microcosm of gender neutrality, thumb-bashing guys walking in are just as likely to feel clueless as stud-baffled women. 80 Universal Boulevard (off Rt. 2), Warwick, (401) 826-0600, www.homedepot.com.

Best '60s flashback

Even though Peter Elsemore was still in nursery school when Woodstock blasted its psychedelic culture across the land, the music store he owns with wife Jennifer, Mondo Music, is definitely a throwback. It's not just the purple footprints on the sidewalk leading in the door, the macrame necklaces on the counter, the beaded curtain at the back of the small, crammed space, or the plethora of posters from that Woodstock era on the walls. It's the Elsemores' warmth and friendliness ("Interested in Taj? I think a used CD just came in"), their wide-ranging love of music (John Coltrane and Greg Brown back to back on the turntable), and their determination to keep their "mom and pop" business afloat (they checked out every college town in New England before settling in Bristol eight years ago). And it's also Peter's eclectic knowledge, which will help you find that long-lost cut or album. (Mondo will special-order anything in print.) 11 State Street, Bristol, (401) 254-2990.

Best place to practice your tut-tutting

The folks at Basically British know just how to put you in the mood for browsing their shelves of imported British Isles items, as well as their newly-expanded store of antiques. They offer you tea, either high or mini, at lovely glass-covered tables. You lean back in a wicker and wrought-iron chair, pull the cozy (printed with a thatched cottage) off your pot, and sink your tingling taste buds into a warm scone with strawberry jam and imported clotted cream (Devonshire, of course). The mini-tea includes two scones; the high tea has cucumber, cheddar-herb, or salmon finger sandwiches, English biscuits, and cream cake. This is the place to find marmalades (fine-cut grapefruit or Rose's tangerine), Marmite and Bovril, anchovy essence, trifle mixes, Afternoon Darjeeling, or English Breakfast teas, oatcakes or plum pudding, candy bars called Yorkie's or Violet Crumbles, and a wide selection of tea pots and cozies. But, alas, you can't take home those scones! 18 State Street, (401) 253-5722.

Best toy store for guys

Gadget guys are a joyful lot. Some would say adolescent, too, but let's not go there right now. The childlike glee on the face of a gadget guy staring down at a new blinking, bleeping gizmo is an endearing sight that will recur for as long as technology persists. The hotshot among purveyors to gizmo fetishists, Sharper Image sure has some cool stuff. How about a Quiet Power(TM) Tie Rack ($59.95) whizzing his neckware by for inspection? A seven-language translator ($44.95) for that trip to Europe? Maybe a key-chain alcohol detector ($49.95). There's even a McGuyver 33-Function Tool ($69.95), with everything from box wrenches to a fish scaler to a nail file. But the ultimate tech toy has to be the Ionic Breeze(TM) Personal Air Purifier ($59.95), which dangles like a pair of binoculars and blows ionized air up into his face. Who knew? Providence Place Mall, (401) 243-0610, www.sharperimage.com/us/en/index.jhtml.

Best mattress when sporting stiletto heels

You don't want to attempt on a waterbed what you can do with reckless abandon on a futon. There are other advantages, the first one being that you can use a futon/sofa as an extra bed for guests you don't dislike. That is to say, a futon doesn't have the metal bar in the middle that the fold-out couch designers have somehow never managed to eliminate. The Providence Futon Company has been trying to get across the virtues of its products for 18 years. Their selections range in virtuousness from $125 for a simple dormitory-level futon mattress atop a pine-slat frame, to around $1000 for a piece of classy teak or mahogany furniture. The simple, tufted cotton batting mattress of Japanese origin became popular in the 1970s, but its principle traces to the straw-stuffed "pallet on your floor" of blues renown. Vive le progrès! 268 Wickenden Street, Providence, (401) 421-8150.

Best far-out fare

Is your preferred giftee response "Far out!"? If so, you can rely on Sun-Up Gallery. They have plenty of sedate crafts, jewelry, clothing, etc., but you can get that anywhere. Their distinction is proprietor Nancy Klotz's appreciation for fantasy and the creatively outré. Jamestown's Jillian Barber's opalescent fish wall-hangings ($85 to $175) float above you like dream denizens. "Garden Girls" ($130 to $325) are sun-faced sheet metal figures that will ward off birds and bunnies with style. From mirror to armoire ($175 to $3000), colorful furniture from a Texas studio is jam-packed with complex painted patterns, and the hand-hooked wool rugs ($800 and up) by Newport's Meg Little are equally as rich with geometric designs. A recent showpiece by the door is out of Utah -- Dana Major's ceramic iguana lamp, with a huge and intricately detailed lizard climbing toward a tiny golden-crested bird peering down. It's only $1210 -- snap it up before it's gone. 95 Watch Hill Road, Westerly, (401) 596-0800, www.sunupgallery.com.

Best place to find a moose cookie-cutter

Why would anyone want to find such an item, you might ask? Relatives in Maine? Naturalist friends? Cookie fanatics? The latter are sure to be thrilled by Hack and Livery's 100 different cookie cutters, including 25 tiny (inch to inch-and-a-half) mini-cutters. These are European-style metal outline cutters, with a good sharp edge and no messy design in the middle. Seasonal cutters include the regular Christmas ones -- Santas, stars, angels, trees, camels, gingerbread men and women; Halloween ones -- witches, cats, spiders, and spider webs; and of course hearts. But the goat, dinosaur, tropical fish, map of Rhode Island (!), moose, dinosaur, and squirrel know no season (unless you lop off the squirrel's tail for Groundhog's Day). Hack and Livery also has an amazing collection of Christmas ornaments all year long, and penny candy -- 66 jars of it. Where else can you still find button strips and wax Coke bottles filled with syrup? Rt. 138, Main Street, Hope Valley, (401) 539-7033.

Best source of weapons-grade hot sauce

Sometimes you're up for hot, and sometimes you're not. When you're at home making Mexican, sometimes you want some nice, cooling guacamole or sour cream mellowing down your favorite chile recipe. But then there are times when you seek the perfect capsicum high, the glow that starts on the tongue, seeps to the back of the palate, and then permeates your whole head to full Toltec sun god glory. The Sanchez Mexican Market has two long shelves, some 50 feet of hot sauces, salsa picantes, and canned chili peppers, from mild Herdez chile verde to spoon-bending El Yucateca habanero sauce. Highly recommended is the hard-to-find Buffalo chipotle sauce. Be forewarned: get the "Hot" variety of this one rather than the "Very Hot" so that you can shake more than a couple of drops into your pot of posole and get its distinctive smoky flavor as well as its heat. 802 Atwells Avenue, (401) 331-6469.

Best place to discover your inner competitor

>Dungeons & Dragons is old hat -- now there's Vampire: The Masquerade, and Werewolf: The Apocalypse. It's not only The X-Files or Providence politics that harbors a spooky, Byzantine world within a world: all around us there are gamers spending much spare time and scads of money on war-scenario and role-playing games. Your Move Games caters to them all and even provides tables and rooms for them to get together and compete. As with the lead soldiers of yore, figures are collected, hand-painted, and assembled in phalanxes to face off and battle in such games as Warhammer, and its sci-fi fantasy cousin Warhammer 40,000. That sort of play isn't as much for kids, though, as for twentysomethings with real jobs, since a package of miniatures (unpainted) costs around 10 bucks for two or three figures, and there might be 200 to 300 to collect. Stratego, anyone? 752 North Main Street, Providence, (401) 455-2300, www.yourmovegames.com.

Best déjà vu of Aunt Alice's attic

We've all been in antique stores and encountered a plate or teapot that conjures visions of visits to older relatives' parlors. But stepping into the Phoenix is like finding yourself in Pleasantville, where much more than dishware takes you back 50 years (or any time in between). The sister proprietors of this shop have an eye for decor and display: tablecloths and runners on a wooden drying rack; dishware on the open shelves of an old Frigidaire; chenille bedspreads and fringed Asian pillows on a striped couch; Christmas ornaments dangling from an old bedspring. The nooks and crannies (and bargain basement) of this store yield laughs, sighs of recognition, and some darn good gifts. And an annual half-price sale the day before Christmas usually jams the store and clears it of many wooden shelves and drawers. So for yourself or for Aunt Alice, give it a look-see. 233 Robinson Street, Wakefield, (401) 782-2210.

Best place to find a Ghostbusters eggplant

It's not just chefs in upscale restaurants who get a kick out of designer vegetables. Farmers in the hinterlands of South County are tickled pink to try out new varieties of old friends and to display their wares at the South County Farmers' Market. Beginning in the spring with ready-to-plant flats of veggies, herbs and flowers, right through the watermelons (some yellow-meated), pumpkins (some white-skinned), peaches (some white-fleshed), and squash (golden zucchinis are a surprise), more than a dozen local farmers and craftspeople are on hand to tempt you with sights, tastes, and smells. The honey man has a glass frame of swarming bees; the soap lady puts herbs and gardenia leaves in her bars; the apple guy slices you a wedge to try. But best of all is the white-skinned Ghostbusters' eggplant, with its tender skin and non-bitter meat. Open every Saturday from 9 a.m. to noon from May 1 to October 15 at URI's Keaney Gym parking lot, Route 138, Kingston.

Best offbeat gewgaws

We don't know about you but, whenever possible, we prefer to shop at gift stores that make it a policy to feature stuff made by local craftspeople and artists. There are a number of these around town, but one of our favorites for funky or unusual watches, pens, and jewelry is Copacetic Rudely Elegant Jewelry in the Arcade. (Don, the owner, is also a regular at the pool table over at Nick-a-Nee's, so we never have any trouble hunting him down after hours.) If you're looking for divine jewelry or a whimsical gift, you can't go wrong at Copacetic. The odd collection of clocks and watches are also something to behold. 65 Weybosset Street, Providence, (401) 273-0470.

Best place to harass sportscasters at 2 a.m.

It's a minor miracle that the powers that be allow anything to remain open past sundown in Warwick, but the Super Stop & Shop on the West Warwick line is a sanctuary for late-night professional types and stoner insomniacs alike. 'HJY usually pumps from the muffled sound system for the stock crew, as well as the single cashier who isn't particularly thrilled to see you, yet conjures a well-worn smile at such a ridiculously late hour. You might even bump into local celebs such as Ken Bell, who has been spotted a few times browsing and carousing after the late sports report. Hey, it ain't bad-ass Gene Valicenti ("Yo, Gene, I seen your mustache runnin' down aisle 5"), but it does offer the toasted, rabid Pats fan the chance to host an impromptu Q&A session in the frozen food aisle at 2 a.m., demanding an explanation as to why "we" can't secure a solid offensive line, or recommendations on how to improve a secondary that has gotten lit up like La Salette all season. 300 Quaker Lane, West Warwick, (401) 828-9360.

Best use of your nose

Proust knew it. Restaurants with open kitchens know it. And all the beauty products manufacturers know it. The sense of smell is amazingly sensitive, evocative and, in the case of aromatherapy, curative. At Rose of Sharon, essential oils of herbs, flower, trees and grasses are available to address a wide variety of moods. Some are invigorating, some relaxing, some are good for your skin, others for your hair. Drops of the oil can be diffused by putting them in rings that fit over light bulbs, on candles, or even in plug-in "diffusers" (similar to air fresheners). Aromatherapy ingredients are also used in making candles ("mood mender" or "happy heart"), soaps (sea kelp or hemp seed), lip and body balms, and massage oils. The store also has more than 80 different herbs in bulk, plus a corner rocker to pore over books about herbs and come up with your own blend. Just breathe it all in! 123 Boon Street, Narragansett, (401) 783-1322.

Best gift for the flexibly challenged

If you sit at a desk or lean over a keyboard for a good part of the day, you are probably familiar with stiffness and twinges when you get up and move around. One of the best ways for anyone of any age to keep flexible (as well as centered) is through yoga. All That Matters, a holistic health and education center in downtown Wakefield, has eight instructors, each with a different focus and specialty (including one who is a chiropractic physician). Classes start with beginners, move through "Hot Yoga," in which the room temperature is raised for hatha yoga exercises, and peaks with ayurveda, a 1000-year-old medical system from India used in combination with yoga positions and relaxation techniques. You can choose morning or evening classes, seven days a week, or you can explore other health-affirming sessions, such as T'ai Chi, belly dancing, drumming, reiki, feng shui, or aromatherapy. 315 Main Street, Wakefield, (401) 782-2126, www.allthatmatters.com.

Best background music in a liquor store

We'll agree that few people hang out in liquor stores for the music. In fact, most liquor stores feature no music at all, just a few grunting sales people lugging your cases of beer up to the counter. Lafrontera Liquors is a modest little store on Broad Street, right on the Providence/Cranston line. The owner is a jazz fan with impeccable taste. Every we walk in, we hear stuff like early Miles Davis, Lee Morgan, Tommy Flanagan, Sonny Rollins -- the sort of stuff that people who really know jazz listen to. We've never actually tried to open up our purchase and loiter in the store to enjoy the sounds, but we've been sorely tempted. 1522 Broad Street, Cranston, (401) 461-7790.

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