BY CLIF GARBODEN

THURSDAY 18

7:00 [44] VIEWER FAVORITES | "I’m bored," complained Becca the Winsome Blonde. "Me too," added the slightly nerdish Rodney. "What’s on Channel 2 tonight?" "Let me read ahead," offered Becca. "Wait! It’s André Rieu playing ‘The Irish Washerwoman.’ " "Jeez," replied Rodney, "let’s do something else." "Well, the Patriots are playing New Orleans," suggested Becca. "Yeah, right, in pre-season play. The announcers don’t even watch the game." "I know," enthused Becca. "Let’s go to the mall!" "Okay," agreed Rodney. "I’ve been meaning to buy some blank cassette tape and a lawn chair." | Until 11 pm

8:00 [64] FOOTBALL | The Pats versus the New Orleans Saints in pre-season play.

5:00 am [44] SOUNDSTAGE | Joss Stone and Mavis Staples. | Until 6 am

FRIDAY 19

7:00 [44] VIEWER FAVORITES | The sun rose unusually quietly over the distant fields, as Becca the Winsome Blonde and her slightly nerdish friend Rodney sat atop the grassy knoll gazing into the grazing. "Look! Kine!" exclaimed Rodney. "What?" answered Becca, sleepy from having spent all night at the mall. "What kind of what, Rod?" "No, not kind — kine — k-i-n-e, the plural of cow." "I thought c-o-w-s was the plural of cow," retorted Becca, winsomely adjusting her blonde tresses. "I’ll bet kine, or whatever, is archaic." "You’re archaic," answered Rodney, crestfallen. "Besides," continued Becca, losing all patience with her ruddy-complexioned friend, "those are sheep." "No. You’re sheep," was all Rodney could think to say. But it didn’t make him feel any better. | Until 11 pm

8:00 [12] FOOTBALL | The Minnesota Vikings versus the New York Jets in pre-season play.

9:00 [2] DEAN MARTIN: GREATEST HITS | A collection of full-length numbers from The Colgate (as in the toothpaste, not the college) Comedy Hour, which aired on NBC from 1950 through 1955. It wasn’t Mr. Dino Crocetti’s show; it went up against The Ed Sullivan Show with a rotating variety of hosts, but Martin and Lewis were among the network’s most successful counter-programming attractions, so Dean got to deliver quite a few of his hits, including "Oh, Marie" and the unforgettable "Mambo Italiano." To be repeated on Sunday at 7:30 pm. | Until 10:30 pm

10:30 [2] THE ’60S EXPERIENCE | The 1960s — especially the latter half of that decade — was one of the (perhaps the) richest era in popular music. Even if you don’t want to get into the issue of raw talent, the amount of creative output that has survived (now for almost 40 years) is astonishing. And this despite oldies radio’s attempts to promote the shallowest, dullest, and most commercial music of the era. Most ’60s-music nostalgia TV shows tend to miss the mark as well, but this one is slightly more on target. Live performers include John Kay and Steppenwolf, the Byrds’ Roger McGuinn, and Eric Burdon and the Animals. Dead performers include Jimi Hendrix, the Doors, and Janis Joplin. Plus we get live Chuck Negron (late of Three Dog night) and, on tape, Procol Harum. All of which is fine in its own way. If you want a genuine look at the music of the Vietnam decade, of course, you’ll have to dig up a copy of Monterey Pop. To be repeated on Monday at 12:30 am. | Until 1 am — with lots of fundraising.

SATURDAY 20

11:00 AM [44] VIEWER FAVORITES | "I’m sorry, Rodney," apologized Becca, the Winsome Blonde. "I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I enjoy your funny vocabulary. Really." "Kine . . . kind. I guess it was pretty funny," admitted the slightly nerdish Rodney. "Sure," comforted Becca, "like the song ‘What Kine of Fool Am I?’ " "Or the racist slogan ‘Stick to your own kine.’ " countered Rodney. "Or that slaughterhouse movie musical Kine Hearts and Coronets," said Becca, now giggling. "My kine of town," concluded Rodney, laughing out loud. | Until midnight.

4:00 [6] BASKETBALL | The Seattle Storm versus the Sacramento Monarchs in WNBA play.

4:00 [64] BASEBALL | The Boston Red Sox versus the Los Angeles Angels.

7:30 [2] VIEWER FAVORITES | In an effort to sucker more innocent kids into the military, recruiters have produced TV ads stressing manliness and parental approval. The rugged father looked at his uniformed son, who was just back from a nine-month stint in Iraq. "Son," he said somberly, "you’ve changed." "How so?" asked the beefy but taciturn lad. (These two never wasted words, and it was difficult for them to talk honestly.) "Well, last night you did two things you haven’t done in years — at least not at the same time." "What was that, Dad?" "You wet the bed and woke up screaming for your mother. Where did that come from?" Stony silence was the soldier’s only reply. | Until midnight

8:00 [6] THE TIME MACHINE | movie | The 2002 remake, (very) loosely based on the H.G. Wells novel, and starring Guy Pearce as the man who leaps ahead into an nightmare vision of a post-apocalyptic future. Would it amaze you if we said we thought the 1960 version with Rod Taylor and Yvette Mimieux was a lot better? | Until 10 pm

SUNDAY 21

9:00 [12] LIVING WITH THE DEAD | movie | part two | Ted Danson stars in this mini-series about psychic James Van Praagh, who was hired to solve murders by asking the victims what really happened. | Until 11 pm

9:30 [44] ALONE IN THE WILDERNESS | He’s back. This show actually is a viewer favorite. An elaborated home movie shot by wilderness man Richard Proenneke, who in 1968 fled society to the remote Alaskan wilds, where he fashioned a log home. The late Proenneke himself is a tremendously appealing character, and his woodworking skills are beyond belief. To be repeated on Tuesday at 2:30 am on Channel 2. | Until 11 pm

11:00 [2] LIVE AID: THE DAY THE MUSIC CHANGED THE WORLD | It was July 13, 1985. While we were off buying a Buick, the rest of the world — or at least 1.5 billion people — was watching concerts to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia from stages in London (Wembley Stadium) and Philadelphia (JFK Stadium). We were the world — at least for that one day. Featuring U2, Elton John, Eric Clapton, Sting, the Who, Paul McCartney, Queen, and more. To be repeated tonight at 2:30 am, and on Thursday at 2:30 am. | Until 12:30 am

MONDAY 22

7:00 [2] VIEWER FAVORITES | And what ever happened to our viewer favorite, Fiesta in the Sky? Long ago, in the Kingdom of Der-Fong, Gilfaethwy the Intrepid But Basically Unpronounceable and his daughter, Li’le Bran-Bran, awoke to the sound of thundering hooves. "Gilfaethwy, come quick," summoned Or-Umpf the Mercenary Guard, "Evil King Lepath the Malodorous is stealing our kine!" "Lepath the Malodorous? Here in Der-Fong," cried Li’le Bran-Bran in amazement. "But I thought you’d banished him, father." "Indeed I have," answered Gilfaethwy the Intrepid But Basically Unpronounceable, as he strode into the dawn’s first light. "Quickly, Or-Umpf," he shouted, "tell Neighboring King Goewin the Mechanical to fire up the hot-air balloon. We’ll catch these dad-blasted kine rustlers from the air!" | Until 11 pm

8:00 [6] FOOTBALL | The Dallas Cowboys versus the Seattle Seahawks in pre-season play.

2:00 AM [44] HISTORY DETECTIVES: DOC HOLLIDAY’S WATCH | CIVIL WAR FEMALE SOLDIERS | JAPANESE INTERNMENT CAMP ARTWORK | Your only chance to see this show this week is to stay up late. This morning’s contrived "mysteries" involve a pawned watch that may have been given to Doc Holliday by Wyatt Earp; a skinny Civil War soldier in an old photo that might be a woman in disguise; and hand-painted postcard scenes of a US concentration camp where we stored stray Japanese-Americans during World War II. To be repeated tonight at 4 am, and at 5 am on Channel 2. | Until 3 am

TUESDAY 23

7:00 [44] VIEWER FAVORITES | Becca the Winsome Blonde met her slightly nerdish pal Rodney in first grade, when Becca wasn’t yet winsome and Rodney was no nerdier than any other boy in the accelerated track. In junior high, Becca taught Rodney to dance and Rodney helped Becca overcome her fear of algebra. Or perhaps it was the other way around. No matter. Although they never dated, the two were inseparable, and everyone in town assumed they would someday marry. But that’s as far as it went. | Until 11 pm

10:30 [2] QI GONG FOR BEGINNERS | When it comes to the Qi, who among us is truly experienced? A introduction to Qi Gong, the ancient Asian art of selling self-help books to Western white devils. | Until 11:30 pm

WEDNESDAY 24

1:00 AM [44] AMERICAN MASTERS: RALPH ELLISON | A bio-doc of Invisible Man novelist Ellison, whose one published work changed the way we think about being black in America. This show includes "scenes" from his second novel, Juneteenth, which he never finished. To be repeated tonight at 4 am on Channels 2 and 44. | Until 2:30 am

THURSDAY 25

7:00 [2] VIEWER FAVORITES | "So, Becca," said the assistant district attorney, "how come you and Rodney never went on a nationwide killing spree?" "Why do you ask me such complicated questions on Thursday?" complained Becca. "You know I don’t have time to answer." | Until 11 pm

8:00 [6] EVOLUTION | movie | David Duchovny and Julianne Moore battle for survival with the fittest, which have recently arrived on Earth, via comet, from outer space. | Until 10 pm

5:00 AM [44] SOUNDSTAGE | Ringo Starr and the Roundheads. | Until 6 am