ALONE IN THE DARK BY TOM MEEK

In this chintzy video-game blow-up, Christian Slater battles zombies and transmogrified beasties, revealing the horror of a once-promising career turned miserable. It’s too bad. Slater as paranormal investigator Edward Carnby and Stephen Dorff as the head of a covert FBI unit are good sports. But director Uwe Boll (whose cheesy take on the video game House of the Dead at least played it loose) generates no high camp or eerie ambiance for the stars to play against. And the other performers, including Tara Reid as Carnby’s love interest, sputter like porn actors. The plot, which has something to do with an ancient Indian civilization, omnipotent artifacts, abducted orphans, and sadistic human experimentation, amounts to a crude grafting of The X-Files and Resident Evil that dumps Slater and Dorff into a mine shaft (in the game, which is far creepier, it’s a mansion) occupied by Hell spawn. The only hell unleashed here, however, is on the unfortunate audience. At the Flagship, Holiday, Providence Place 16, and Showcase cinemas. (96 minutes)