RANT Save me from the unfriendly skies BY MARY ANN SORRENTINO

We can’t blame airlines and airports for bad weather, mechanical failures, or computer crashes. What we can blame them for is the incredible level of insensitivity, stupidity, and rudeness they exhibit when travelers are caught up in any one of these nightmares.

I think of my late father often: I think of him especially while traveling these days. He was a very patient and generous man, not prone, as I am, to flashes of temper and floods of sarcasm. Were he faced with the classic evasive and untruthful airport personnel, he might observe philosophically that you can only expect so much from certain individuals. "If those people were rocket scientists," he would muse, "they’d be designing rockets instead of doing that menial job."

Recently, I flew on a routine flight to Florida. It should take about four hours, door-to-door, including cab rides to and from the two airports. Last week, it took 11 hours going and nine hours coming home. During the course of that round trip, I was a victim of fog, planes arriving late from originating departure cities, unexplained delays in boarding (one hour late), and a mysterious problem with the "black box." This last item took 90 minutes to repair while we sat on the plane and the aircraft’s air-conditioning froze us almost solid.

All along the way, I dealt with desk personnel and flight attendants who gave nothing but non-answers. It is apparent that time is worth nothing and we are all sitting around with our thumbs in our ears waiting to be toyed with as the airlines teeter on the brink of bankruptcy.

Those clerks behind the desks, and the flying waiters and waitresses called attendants, should remember that they are there to serve, not to jerk around, their clients. (Is it an accident or some sort of sick coincidence that those presiding over the back psychiatric wards of mental hospitals are also called attendants?) While planes from other airlines were taking off and landing by the minute as we sat delayed at our gate, the people working for this airline told me the airport was closed.

Before takeoff — when a few disgruntled passengers who had been waiting for hours said they wanted to go home, and asked that their luggage be returned — they were told it would be flown without them. I asked if this was against federal regulations, since it is my understanding all bags have to be matched with passengers or removed from the aircraft. Apparently not. So what is to prevent Osama’s gang from checking through exploding luggage and then leaving the airport?

No response.

Many of us appreciate low-cost air travel and don’t require frills. I am not a first-class ticket holder, and I don’t even eat or drink on airplanes (which, after the recent reports about the poor quality of airplane water supplies, seems prudent). Some of the low-cost companies do what they do very well, as Southwest and Jet Blue passengers will usually tell you. It’s some of the airlines-come-lately that need to learn how the game is played.

My demands are relatively simple: I expect the plane to take off and land at approximately the times on the schedule, and I want the aircraft to be safe. Is this asking too much?

My father was right; I don’t expect to see any of these folks testing rockets anytime soon.