More of the same Let’s pray for an awakened public in 2006

P&J like the story about when famed author P.G. Wodehouse was aged, ill, and confined to his bed. When he woke up one morning, he opened his eyes, looked around, and reportedly said, "Not again!"

That is sort of how we feel about entering 2006. We face the proverbial SOS (same old shit) while a real SOS should go to anyone who will listen. Dubya Bush is a raving radical-right conservative religious fanatic who professes to have personal chats with the Big Sir when he needs advice. Georgie remains in the White House, at least for the short periods when he isn’t "clearing brush" at his ranch in Texas — a claim that doesn’t even pass the laugh test.

This delusional Boy In the Bubble is surrounded by an administration full of professional liars, chicken hawks, and torture enthusiasts. Our finest troops are still dying in Iraq (2200 to date, but who’s counting?). Unfortunately, too many Americans have followed the path of Boy George’s Mommy Dearest, Barbara, who said she couldn’t worry "her beautiful mind" about the war in Iraq. Still, many now know that the Iraqi WMDs were a fantasy ably supported by the unspeakable mass media, neutered long ago by Dubya’s minions, who helped turn even the gray lady of 42nd Street, the New York Times, into a shadow of its former self. FOX News 1, Objectivity 0.

One of the few things we could look forward to in 2006 is having Dubya’s Rasputin, the pudgy pig-eyed pink boy, Karl Rove, frog-marched out of the West Wing in shackles for his role in supplying the unctuous Robert Novak with the Plame scoop.

The Bushies still consider global climate change as nonexistent, despite the growing frequency and severity of storms and hurricanes, and increasingly wild swings in the weather. This gang sees nothing wrong with spying on their fellow citizens without authorization, a wonderful concept that the Founding Fathers would have surely endorsed. Condi, we’re still looking for that mushroom cloud from Iraq you warned us about, sweetheart.

Yep, more tax cuts for the rich are foreseen while social programs are cut. "Big Time" and Dubya’s Big Oil Boys will continue to control our energy policy. Hope you have no more soreness in your buns after that gang bent Americans over an oil barrel when gas prices soared in 2005. Grease up, folks — you can expect that scenario to pop up again, so to speak.

Basta! Stop the raving and move on. But P&J woke up on January 1, quoting Mr. Wodehouse. Not again! Have a nice year, kiddies. Mission accomplished!

BOB’S BIG ADVENTURE

So who’s got a problem with Bob Urciuoli taking a few family trips to luxury resorts, eating at the finest restaurants, and playing golf at the world’s finest courses? When you’re a big shot you have to act like a big shot to impress all the other big shots you’re rubbing shoulders with, right? We believe this is the argument that the president of the nonprofit Roger Williams Medical Center made to trustees when his expense account practices were being scrutinized a few years back.

Yes, the New Year started with a bang at the Other Paper thanks to ace investigative reporter Mike Stanton getting his clammy mitts on a 1998 internal review of Urciuoli’s free-spending ways. The hospital honcho remains under scrutiny for his involvement with former state Senator John "My Sharona" Celona, who has pleaded guilty to charges related to an influence-peddling investigation.

P&J’s favorite part of Stanton’s January 1 story in the Sunday BeloJo was the eight-day $5998 trip that Bobby-boy took with his family (and charged to Roger Williams) to the exclusive Princess Resort in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Bobby had booked the trip to attend a "Health Care Issues of the 90s" conference that, apparently, was a figment of his imagination. When it was discovered that the conference never took place, Bobby explained he was so consumed by his efforts to secure a merger with Columbia/HCA, he thought a conference was taking place. That’s the spirit!

That Urciuoli was not really punished for his profligate ways underscores the adage that big shots are reluctant to punish other big shots. The executive committee that heard the report on Bobby-boy’s behavior included such fellow big shots as former lieutenant.governor Richard "Little Richit" Licht and Herbert Cummings, the retired president of Citizens Bank of Rhode Island. The general response would seem to be par for the course, especially if that course was Pebble Beach, Augusta National, or St. Andrews.

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HALITOSIS HALL

What keeps P&J smiling in the face of the worst and most devious presidency in history is the lunacy and folly that is a guaranteed part of a fresh legislative session at the General Assembly. Talk about making our job easy. A Halitosis Hall session is like being supplied with material from a team of crack comedy writers, even though much of the content reads like fiction, or science fiction.

Governor Carcieri and the House and Senate leadership usually speak during the holiday season about how they will be making nice this year. Aah, don’t buy it, that’s just the eggnog talking. This year is the equivalent of pouring gasoline on an already raging fire. Why? It’s an election year for everybody! All the legislative and general state offices are up for dibs in November, and many candidates will be shaking like whores in church as they cast critical votes, wondering how their constituencies — or in the case of many legislators, their leaders — will react.

The political battles will be so vicious that we can see Guy Dufault making a major comeback as far as attracting clients. You can bet that the other media stalwarts hereabouts, including the fiercest and most-feared journalist at the State House, the lovely Kathy "Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill" Gregg, are all letting out loud whinnies at the prospects of actual fistfights in the corridors on Smith Hill. Let’s get ready to ruuummmmbbbbblllle!

We love to hear about energy costs being a concern as National Grid (previously Narragansett Electric) goes before the Public Utilities Commission for greater than 15 percent rate increases every time the sun comes up in the East. Likewise the conundrum of a massive budget shortage combined with talk of cutting the state income and sales tax at the upper margin. Hmmm.

Naturally, the issue of a casino will not be on the table. (Ba-boom!) But seriously, folks, Harrah’s might have deep pockets, and stands to make a killing if it can get a new Foxwoods situated here, but it will interesting to see their endurance quotient. And you can bet the media will be all over the statewide candidates about their views on the matter, adding even more dissonance to the chorus.

Without going into further detail, it will be a big year for private interest and citizens groups at Halitosis Hall, and don’t be surprised if so little gets done that controversy is avoided. The great unwashed like the status quo, don’tcha know? But we hope the governor and legislature take a quick look at that recent study on competitiveness, which ranks Vo Dilun 41st in the country. Well, we beat Mississippi, at least.

Let the games begin!

Send leftover Champagne and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.