Lies and damned lies! The Bush administration stoops even lower

Just when you thought the level of untruths and prevarications from the Bush administration had reached unsurpassed heights, it just keeps getting worse and more nuanced.

Vice President "Big Time" Cheney, two jerks in one pair of pants if there ever was, is still working the ludicrous claims of Iraq’s WMDs and how we are slowly winning the war. He’s even attacking US Representative John Murtha of Pennsylvania, a 37-year Marine Corps vet widely respected in DC, for calling for a US troop withdrawal. Seen through the distorted Bushies lens, this makes Murtha a coward who is aiding the terrorists. Unfortunately for Big Time, Murtha bitch-slapped him by suggesting that someone who had five deferments during the Vietnam War perhaps might be ready for some sound advice on matters of war.

Enter Secretary of State "Queen Lotsateetha" Rice. Dubya’s lap dog had the sheer audacity to state on a world tour that the United States doesn’t do torture. This comes at a time when the press has uncovered more photos of America’s illegal abuse of prisoners, while also exposing "extraordinary renditions," and "black sites" in other countries, where we can send prisoners to be tortured while disingenuously claiming "it didn’t happen here." Pul-eeze, Condi, have a bit more respect for the intelligence mustered on occasion by the majority of Americans.

Last, but not least, we have Georgie Boy’s secret information war. The Bushies are using the military and agencies such as the US Agency for International Development to hire private contractors who put out "good news" stories about America in Iraq and Afghanistan, even if they have to spread a few bucks around to reporters. In one case cited in the New York Times, the USAID private contractor has been "distributing iPod-like devices that play civic messages — through a contractor that pledges ‘no US footprint.’ " Defense Secretary Rummy Rumsfeld, the aging war enthusiast, responded to claims that this is further destroying the US’ foreign credibility — already the political version of a tanking junk bond — thusly: "The American system of openness works." This comes, of course, from a key player in the most secretive and dishonest administration in history.

Sleep tight, America — just after you watch the evening Fox News.

PASSINGS: A VERY GOOD MAN AND A GREAT ARTIST

You’ve got to feel for former US Senator Eugene McCarthy of Minnesota. Way back in the tumultuous year of 1968, his honesty and courage basically brought down a president and helped to crystallize opposition to a tragic war. His attempt to storm the gates and capture the Democratic presidential nomination was ultimately upstaged by the emergence of a more charismatic, more inspiring candidate who became the standard bearer of the anti-Vietnam, pro-civil rights progressive agenda. Bobby Kennedy was a political genius.

And when Gene McCarthy passed away last week at the ripe age of 89, his thunder was stolen once again when Richard Pryor, another icon, passed on the same day.

Make no mistake about it: Pryor was a genius. He was everything that the prophet Lenny Bruce wanted to be in spades (pun intended). Pryor was for standup what Charlie Parker was to jazz or Bob Dylan to popular music — an artist who changed everything.

Before Pryor, standup comedy was pretty much a branch of the entertainment business. Comedians were not seen as social commentators or truth-tellers of the highest order. Sure, there was the aforementioned Lenny Bruce, Mort Sahl, and Pryor’s contemporary, George Carlin, but none of them had Pryor’s natural gifts nor his laser-sharp insight and wisdom. He was and remains the standard against which all standup comedians will forever be judged.

Take another look at his famous Richard Pryor: Live in Concert from 1979, the greatest tour de force solo performance ever committed to film. As has been pointed out, he didn’t just tell jokes, he provided social commentary and could do physical comedy as well. Three things come to mind: his deer at the waterhole impersonation; the young black kid running from the dog (low-running); and his entire bit about his monkeys and the dog next door.

Richard Pryor was sui generis and that’s a fact.

THE CLUB FOR GROWTH OF REALLY BIG WALLETS

Does anyone outside of Casa Diablo think that the Club for Growth’s endorsement this week of Cranston Mayor Steve "Laugh at Me" Laffey runs a little counter to his campaign strategy? A more accurate title for this group would be: "The Club for the Growth of Rich Peoples’ Wallets."

Last time we looked, Laffey was trying to position himself as some sort of "populist." The Club for Growth’s embrace of the Cranston mayor ought to underscore exactly where the guy really stands. If he’s a populist, we’re the Bobbsey Twins.

How will this endorsement impact incumbent Senator Linc Chafee? Outside of a stream of out-of-state conservative money flowing into the Laffey coffers, we suspect "not much." Vo Dilunduhs know and respect Chafee. The Club for the Growth of Rich Peoples’ Wallets may play well in Bush country, but this isn’t Bush Country.

FESTIVE WITH FESTIVUS

Last week, your superior correspondents were perusing the Bridge, the newsletter of the Pawtuxet Village Association, which comes out "twice a year with occasional special editions." An article on "The Solstice," by Putsi Gleitsman, caught our eye. Noting that the winter solstice "marks the beginning of many winter holidays and festivals, Gleitsman goes on to list a few starting with "Hanukkah, Festivus, Christmas, Kwanzaa . . . "

Hold on a minute! Since when has a holiday created as part of a television sitcom (in this case, Seinfeld) become a regularly observed seasonal holiday? Checking on the Internet, P&J find, indeed, that "Festivus for the Rest of Us" is being observed in a number of places. Apparently feats of strength, bare poles, and the airing of grievances are catching on in a big way throughout the land of brave and the home of the free. All we can say is, what a great country!

We’d be interested in hearing from anyone here in the Biggest Little who is involved in a Festivus observance this month. Drop us and e-mail and we’ll let everybody know about your cutting edge celebration.

SILENT TREATMENT FOR TOWN COUNCIL

Many see Attorney General Patrick Lynch’s recent advisory opinion — that elected officials responding to citizens’ questions during a public forum might be in violation of the state’s Open Meetings Law — as a ludicrous intrusion on the democratic process. P&J, however, see this as an opportunity. For those public officials who would like to respond, but fear violating the law, we suggest taking some mime courses.

It may be kosher, after all, to have the officeholders mime their answers. Not only will it sharpen their skills at charades, it should liven up those public meetings that always run the risk of being deadly dull. Fortunately, one of the finest mime artists in the world just happens to live among us. Yes, Michael Grando, a world-class mime, director, teacher, and jewelry maker, is a longtime Vo Dilunduh. So let’s step up, folks.

A PAT ON THE BACK . . .

. . . to former Pawtucket state senator Tom Coderre, whose dramatic rise and fall into crack addiction had been well documented. In last Sunday’s BeloJo, Coderre spoke to Other Paper reporter Jennifer Levitz at length. This is a true cautionary tale that needed to be told. We admire Coderre’s courage in sharing an ugly tale, and we wish him well in his ongoing road to recovery.

Send New England boiled dinners and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.