Battle of blather When talk-radio hosts fight for the mike

Your superior correspondents always love to hear the latest in the saga of the two high school chums who grew up to become obnoxious right-wing blowhards. We’re talking, of course, about the mighty duo of Cranston Mayor Stephen "Laugh at Me" Laffey and radio talk-show host John DePetro, who emceed his old pal’s announcement last week that he’s gunning for Linc Chafee. Two entertaining stories in Saturday’s BeloJo detailed (as Paul Harvey says) "the rest of the story."

Laffey doesn’t feel that his candidacy precludes him from hosting radio shows on WPRO-AM. His argument is that there are different rules for federal than municipal and state-level candidates, and that "equal time" only need be allotted to opponents in federal races 60 days prior to the election. Much as this seems unfair, P&J suspect it may be legally correct.

The Laffey radio piece, written by Katherine "Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill" Gregg, noted how RI Democratic Party Chairman Bill Lynch "fired off a letter to Jim Corwin, vice-president of WPRO’s parent company, Clear Channel Communications, in which he demanded equal time for the other candidates in the race, including Democrats [Sheldon] Whitehouse and [Matt] Brown." If true, this was a serious waste of time on Billy’s part, since Citadel Broadcasting, not Clear Channel, is WPRO’s parent, but Jim Corwin probably appreciates hearing from the Democratic Party ramrod anyway.

Meanwhile, an accompanying article by Scott MacKay described a NiRoPe steel-cage death match that took place at the Cardi’s Furniture store in West Warwick. On September 9, WPRO talk-show host Dan Yorke (a Phoenix advertiser) broadcast his show from the store as part of an all-day WPRO/ Cardi’s fundraiser for the Hurricane Katrina victims. After Yorke made some disparaging remarks about how DePetro, now a Boston-area talk host, emceed the Laffey event, DePetro scurried over to Cardi’s, wrested the microphone from Yorke, and started mouthing off on the air. What a class act!

DePetro claimed that WPRO had offered him Yorke’s afternoon slot — an allegation denied by operations director Dave Bernstein, who described the skirmish as "stupid DePetro stuff." Knowing all the players here, including the management at Citadel and Clear Channel, P&J find Bernstein’s claim more credible.

We have little doubt that ’PRO talked to DePetro. We further suspect that DePetro initiated the dialogue. Everyone in radio knows that DePetro got good numbers when he was at ’HJJ, but he was not exactly a team player. Furthermore, Yorke’s numbers have steadily increased, and there is no good reason why ’PRO would want to dump him. DePetro is not exactly thriving in Boston, so you’ve got a good scenario for an embellished storyline here.

P&J suggest that some smart entrepreneur buy a radio station (let’s call it WEGO), hire DePetro and Laffey, and then pony up the bucks for Vincent "The Bud-I" Cianci when he’s sprung from the hoosegow. Rabid self-promotion is something that has always proven a winner for local talk radio.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK, NUMERO UNO

Move over Big Papi Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, and in absentia, Petey Martinez. We have another local star from the Dominican Republic.

We refer to Providence councilman Miguel Luna of Ward 9, a guest of honor at a special Washington, DC, event on Monday to recognize the accomplishments of Dominican-American elected officials in the US. Leonel Fernandez Reyna, the D.R.’s president, personally gave tribute to Luna and his peers. What struck us most was Luna’s comment in his press release that he "recognized that although he faced challenges along the way, ‘working with the people who live in my ward, and throughout Providence, has been one of the best experiences in my life.’ "

Would that more of our politicians view their roles in the same way and with the same appreciation. ÁViva la Republica Dominicana!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK, NUMBER TWO

Gordon Adams, director of security policy studies at the Elliott School of International Affairs at George Washington University, a former Clinton administration official, had this to say in the Baltimore Sun on September 8:

"The disastrous federal response to Katrina exposes a record of incompetence, misjudgment, and ideological blinders that should lead to serious doubts that the Bush administration should be allowed to continue in office . . . When President Bush stays on vacation and attends social functions for two days in the face of disaster before finally understanding that people are starving, crying out, and dying, it is time for him to go . . . We have a president who is apparently ill-informed, lackadaisical, and narrow-minded, surrounded by oil baron cronies, religious fundamentalist crazies, and right-wing extremists and ideologues. He has appointed officials who give incompetence new meaning, who replace the positive role of government with expensive baloney . . . It is time to hold them accountable. This ugly, troglodyte crowd of Capital Beltway insiders, rich lawyers, ideologues, incompetents and their strap-hangers should be tarred, feathered and ridden gracefully and mindfully out of Washington and returned to their caves, clubs in hand."

We could not have said it better ourselves, Mr. Adams.

THE BUSH CULT OF DEATH

President Flight Suit’s complicity in the loss of so many lives during his years in power is amazing. Let’s go to the scorecard, shall we?

First, we have his record of 152 executions as governor of Texas, the best since, well, Julius Caesar was running the show in Rome, or Vlad "Dracula" the Impaler was showing his humanity in Transylvania. All must have been guilty without a doubt.

Our chicken hawk, chickenshit Boy George, who went AWOL and squirmed out of serving in Vietnam, has sent more than 1900 of our best and most courageous men and women to their graves in Iraq, for a bogus and immoral war. We aren’t even counting the many thousands of Iraqis who have been killed in the conflict, many by US troops. We’ll leave out the number of troops lost in Afghanistan, with that body count continuing to rise. Boy, Dubya sure has done a good job of bringing in Osama bin Laden, dead or alive. At least we got Pat Tillman, right, Georgie?

Then we have his absolutely lame response to the Katrina disaster, and his good buddy Mike Brown, the outgoing and totally unqualified political appointee at FEMA. It took Dubya four days to get off the sofa where he was taking a nap in Crawford during his vacation. He’s spent 20 percent of his tenure on holiday, while our troops are getting killed overseas.

Dubya’s mother, Barbara Bush, who once said she couldn’t worry her "beautiful mind" about body bags of American soldiers coming back from Afghanistan, put her foot in her mouth again. She brushed off the evacuation of New Orleans’ predominantly black residents to the Astrodome by suggesting they had it much better there, and besides, they were already "underprivileged." Yeah, they are having a real day at the beach, Babs.

What a lovely family.

FISH STORY

An incredibly worthy and edible effort by the Ocean State’s commercial fishers will take place this Saturday, September 17 (rain date September 18) at State Pier No. 9 in Newport, by the end of Long Wharf, off America’s Cup Avenue.

Fresh donated lobsters and crabs will be sold at wholesale prices from 12 to 6 pm. Proceeds will benefit the fishermen and women in the Gulf area ravaged by Katrina, matched by a donation from the Newport Fishermen’s Association.

P&J want as many local restaurateurs as possible — as well as John and Jane Q. Public — buying the super-fresh seafood, placing it on their weekend menus, and asking customers to toss a few more bucks into the kitty. For info, contact Dennis Ingram at 401.245.4050 or 401.486.5608.

Send more hot weather and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.