Ships, ahoy! De Ramel surveys high seas without P&J

The Urinal reports, "Democratic secretary of state candidate Guillaume de Ramel is courting state political leaders with a series of receptions on yachts in Newport.

"Last Tuesday, he had a ‘meet and greet’ reception for labor leaders on Belle, a 77-foot, 1929 motor yacht at the International Yacht Restoration School . . . On Aug. 30, de Ramel will host a reception for members of the Democratic State Committee and the Democratic city and town chairs at the Schooner Aurora, a 101-foot-long tall ship."

Well, where the hell is Phillipe & Jorge’s invitation to this political regatta of tall ships, we ask? US Senate candidate Weldon Shithouse’s staff regularly offers an open door to your superior correspondents, with all the Dom Perignon and lobster we can stuff down our gullets. Likewise Linc Chafee, who obviously knows what side he wants his bread (crusts cut off, naturalement) buttered on, has also entertained us in regal style. Doubtless, we can both be bought for a song, but still aspire to keep up appearances. (Although P&J were expecting at least one candidate to come through with tickets to the Rolling Stones Depends Tour at Fenway.)

We do have at least one positive reminiscence of the young and naïve Guillaume. At a Save the Bay fundraiser hosted years ago in Newport by his mother, the delightful Lisette Prince de Ramel, P&J were squiring renowned ocean explorer and Titanic discoverer Bob Ballard among a crowd that included such celebrities as Walter Cronkite and Ted Turner. We suddenly realized Ballard had gone missing. After much angst, and thoughts of having to look for a new job the next day, we found Ballard with the young Guillaume and his brother, playing video games in an upstairs room, happy as could be.

Sleep tight, Captain Nemo.

AWAITING THE LAFF RIOT

Everybody in the know in state politics claims that the mighty mayor of Cranston, Steve "Laugh At Me" Laffey, is indeed going to challenge Linc Chafee in a Republican primary for his US Senate seat. It sure sounds like a done deal when Laffey’s biggest cheerleader, Ed Achorn, the BeloJo’s deputy editorial pages editor, declaims, as he did in a column on Tuesday, that the Laffster ought to find a state general office to run for, lest he beat Linc and ruin it for the Republicans.

You know the scenario: the classic RI GOP primary — drawing fewer voters than a Mayflower Society luncheon in Woonsocket— includes a high percentage of hardcore right-wingers. This sinks the moderate Chafee and wins it for the extremist Laffey. The Democrats then wipe the floor with Laffey in November 2006.

While the secret heart of hearts of Eileen "Jurassic Spice" Slocum, Achorn, Carcieri, and many other prominent Republicans may be with right-wing ideologues like Laffey, they know how to count. The Vo Dilun voters will rush to vote for the Democrat (that ought to be Whitehouse) against Laffey, and that’s that. We anxiously await the announcement from Bullhorn Boy.

WHO WANTS TO BE A BILLIONAIRE?

Last week, the Providence Business News published a supplement on the state’s largest private companies, as well as its fastest growing companies. At Casa Diablo, we were not surprised to find that the best way to make lots of money is to already have lots of it. This phenomenon of the rich getting richer, and the poor getting bupkis, is exacerbated by Bush’s economic policies. There ain’t no trickle down, folks, and whether or not "the economy" is doing well, most of us won’t, because the money will stay firmly in the bank accounts and pocketbooks of those who already have most of it.

The PBN look at RI’s top private companies (ranked by revenues) reveals that the top three, FM Global, Gilbane Inc., and Warren Equities are 170, 132, and 55 years old, respectively. Next up is 98-year-old Amica Insurance, and so on. In the top 10, the only two companies under 38 years old are Care New England (No. 5 at nine years) and Beacon Mutual Insurance (No. 10 at 13 years). Social mobility is not the theme here nor is it in the country at large.

TRUE STORY OF THE WEEK

From the Washington Post on August 23:

No Proof Found of Iran Arms Program

Uranium Traced to Pakistani Equipment

Traces of bomb-grade uranium found two years ago in Iran came from contaminated Pakistani equipment and are not evidence of a clandestine nuclear weapons program, a group of US government experts and other international scientists has determined.

"The biggest smoking gun that everyone was waving is now eliminated with these conclusions," said a senior official who discussed the still-confidential findings on the condition of anonymity . . . John R. Bolton, now US ambassador to the United Nations, served as the administration's point man on nuclear issues during President Bush’s first term. He suggested during congressional testimony in June 2004 that the Iranians were lying about the contamination.

Sound familiar, kiddies? More than 1800 served. Er, excuse us, dead.

STRAIGHT FROM THE TRENCHES

Speaking of Iran, about four years ago, P&J played golf with a couple of brothers from Rhode Island. A year later, one of them was in the Marines, and deployed to Iraq.

We happened to once again play golf with them a few weeks ago, while the gyrene was home after a stint in Iraq, and heading out the next day for another trip to his battalion in Saddam country.

Since our friend is not one of the Bush butt-boys who get paraded out on TV to describe dealing with the hoary-handed sons of the desert, he spilled his guts. While true-blue to his country, he said that most of his Marine Corps colleagues regard Dubya as a total chickenshit who dodged the draft and avoided combat in Vietnam, and who put them in harm’s way for all the wrong reasons. Except for the morons from the South who don’t even realize former prez G.H.W. Bush lives in Maine — "No, they’re from Texas," is the ignorant response — most Marines know what time it is when it comes to Boy George and the others responsible for this bogus and murderous operation.

Stop the madness — now.

HAIL, HAIL PAT ROBERTSON

The biggest freak story of the week always seems to break only hours after our deadline. That was the case last week when Pat Robertson, the head of the pro-hate and intolerance wing of the Christian faith and the Republican Party, declared that assassinating Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez would be a good thing.

P&J scurried off to find out what the Bible says about it being okay to kill elected leaders and start wars to keep oil prices down, but we came up empty. We have always been impressed, though, at Robertson’s ability to play the Southern good ole boy, considering how he’s a Yale-educated lawyer from an aristocratic line, not unlike George W. Bush, another fake cowboy. Pat’s father served for 34 years in the US House of Representatives and Senate. Robertson’s ancestry also includes Benjamin Harrison, a signer of the Declaration of Independence, two presidents, William Henry Harrison and Benjamin Harrison, and Winston Churchill. What a yahoo!

Congratulations to the president, however, on his ability to avoid criticizing Robertson. Rumsfeld and a few other administration minions mildly pointed out that assassinating foreign leaders is illegal, and, "Our department doesn’t do that type of thing." (Translation: other government agencies are in charge of these sorts of illegal activities.)

We suspect Bush will remain silent on these matters because Rove has already told him that he can’t alienate the Robertson faction, for fear that some might sit out the midterm elections next year. Plus, we sort of think that Bush probably agrees with Robertson in his own special "Wanted: Dead or Alive" way.

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