Free Judith Miller! The wrong person is in prison

AS NEW YORK TIMES REPORTER JUDITH MILLER SITS IN JAIL FOR SOMETHING SHE NEVER WROTE, pig-boy Dubya puppeteer Karl Rove remains a free man. This despite how he has essentially been fingered as the person who blew CIA agent Valerie Plame’s cover, the better to discredit her husband, Joseph C. Wilson. Wilson, of course, blew holes in Boy George’s claim that Saddam Hussein had attempted to buy yellow cake uranium in Niger to make his weapons of mass destruction — which, unfortunately for the Bushies, don’t seem to exist.

This a bit trying for Dubya and Co., since his spokesgollum, Scott McClellan, when the issue arose in 2003, said, ÒI’ve made it very clear, he [Rove] was not involved, that there’s no truth to the suggestion that he was.Ó Meanwhile, Georgie himself said last year that he would fire anyone in his administration that was involved.

Nonetheless, Rove and the White House still have the audacity to fight back and hope they can elude this elephant in the living room (it is a felony to expose a CIA agent’s identity, after all). Although Rove claims he never named Plame, Newsweek says he told Time magazine’s Matthew Cooper that it was ÒWilson’s wife, who apparently works at the agency on [weapons of mass destruction] issues who authorized the trip.Ó Well, folks, if that’s not doing everything but shining a spotlight, we don’t know what is. How hard do you think it would be to find out who she is?

Unfortunately, even if Dubya cashiers pig-boy, the master strategist will doubtless pop up elsewhere in GOP-land. P&J would put good money on a soft landing at the Republican National Committee.

Meanwhile, alert reader Peter Kerwin referred us to Brown graduate Joshua Micah Marshall’s Talking Points Memo blog (www.talkingpointsmemo.com), which recently highlighted how Rove’s lawyer, Robert Luskin, represented Steve and Donna Saccoccia of Cranston when they got in trouble in the ’90s for laundering money for Colombian drug lords. As Marshall wrote, ÒYep, you heard that right. Luskin got paid more than $500,000 of his attorney’s fees in gold bars from his client who was trying to appeal his conviction on charges that he laundered drug money through precious metals dealers. Who woulda thought that was drug money?Ó Hey, they must have been all out of Krugerrands.

Sleep tight, Robert Novak, you unspeakable liver-lipped troll.

BLOWHARD TO THE RESCUE

Renowned public servant Bruce Sundlun, a.k.a. Captain Blowhard, is once again offering his wisdom and considerable governing experience to Vo Dilunduhs. No, the former governor is not making another run for the state’s highest office. Instead, he has offered to take the helm of the mighty ship of state of Jamestown. The captain threw his tri-corn coonskin hat into the ring for the job of town manager. The predecessor left for the private sector after just a few months on the job.

Naturally, this has people talking statewide. We know that the Captain B., at 85, is still throwing his weight around, and retains an ego so large you have to grease the doorjambs to get him into a room. We aren’t sure if Mr. Sundlun — who only recently moved to Conanicut Island — realizes that he would actually have to make it to work by 8:30, and that some meetings run into the late evening hours, perhaps well past his usual beddy-bye time. Also, you only get a desk and swivel chair, not a throne.

Give Captain Blowhard credit, though. He’s always able to get tongues wagging. Good on ya, Bruce.

THANKS, DUBYA

Thousands of thank-you letters from Londoners must be pouring into the White House, expressing appreciation for how Dubya dragged the Brits into the situation leading to the bombings on July 7. He did so, of course, with his pet poodle, Prime Minister Tony Blair, trotting along behind him, as he spun out the lies leading to the invasion of Iraq.

Why do P&J care so much about what goes on in London? Well, Phillipe’s sister, Sally, lives there, and he used to as well. We knew that her route to work on the Underground took her right through the King’s Cross station, where the biggest blast took place. The spot where the double-decker bus was blown up was also on her aboveground route.

When P. finally reached Sally after the bombings, she said the Belsize Park stop, where she gets on the tube, was closed due to what was being called a power outage. Given the chance to take the bus or stop for a cup of tea, she chose the latter, saying she just felt there was something wrong. The bus, it turned out, would have been right near the site of the bus that was bombed, if not right behind it.

Thanks, Flight Suit Boy. Now our closest allies will hate us as well — as if many didn’t already. Mission accomplished!

TAKING BACK THE NEIGHBORHOOD

The ongoing anti-abortion protest at the Cranston Medical Center on Broad Street in Elmwood has been joined. Giant signs featuring full-color depictions of aborted fetuses with lovely swastikas and words like " eugenics " (obviously, legalized abortion has nothing to do with eugenics) have appeared at Planned Parenthood on Point Street in Providence and the Broad Street clinic for months.

Starting last week, an ad hoc group of folks from the Edgewood neighborhood came to Broad Street with their own signs, depicting lovely landscapes, smiling children, and an " It’s a beautiful and wonderful world " message. They arrive early and place their uplifting placards to blunt out the ugly anti-abortion posters. According to a spokeswoman for the neighbors, they intend to appear on a regular basis. They are sick and tired of their children being confronted with the violent images displayed by the anti-abortion protesters.

Three cheers for a neighborhood taking back its streets. We salute the good people of Edgewood.

LOOK MA, NO HANDS

Everyone knows that Vo Dilunduhs are among the world leaders in consuming coffee and doughnuts. This explains the 239 Rhode Island-area Dunkin’ Donuts franchises, plus the locally based Ocean Roasters group, Starbucks, Bess Eaton, Honey Dew, and on and on.

A front-page article in this week’s Providence Business News details how Dunkin’ Donuts has decided there’s not a whole lot of room to expand its business in the breakfast area, where they are a market leader, so they have set their sights set on lunch.

The Double D has chosen Vo Dilun to test-market its first incursion into the lunch field. So for the next year or year-and-a-half, the Biggest Little will be the only place where one can pick up the new Dunkin Donuts panini (actually it’s been available for more than six months at some outlets, like the very busy franchise near the beginning of Jefferson Boulevard).

PBN interviewed John Gilbert, the chain’s vice-president of marketing, and while he didn’t mention what it was like to have kissed Greta Garbo (hey, we couldn’t help ourselves), he did make a few salient points about Dunkin’ Donuts and lunch: " The average lunch hour is now 19 minutes, so many people eat on the road, and the Dunkin’s are so convenient. We believe that the convenience factor might overcome any concern people have about Dunkin’ doing lunch. " Gilbert added that paninis are portable and " fit easily in the hand, allowing those who eat behind the wheel a less messy option. "

Good news, huh? Our helpful fast food franchisers are actively designing their food to be eaten while driving. Let P&J suggest that Dunkin’ Donuts start getting really creative and leap into something out of the food line altogether. Just think of how popular a tiny robot to drive one’s car would be, so that you can chow down on a Dunkin’ panini, chat on your cell phone, watch your car DVD, operate your car fax machine, and still get to where you’re going without interruption, all at the same time!

Send days off and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.