Laffey-able

While Cranston Mayor Steve "Laugh at me" Laffey’s foray into talk-radio is as crass and self-serving a stunt as, well, Supremes’ Chief Justice Frank Williams’s now-defunct personal Web site, some of his other forays into public communication are not quite so humorously absurd.

Alert reader Henry Smith forwarded this note to Phillipe & Jorge. This came after the God-bothering Laffey sent a letter to the Rhode Island Latino Political Action Committee in response to a March 2 "your turn" letter in the Other Paper’s West Bay section by Michael J. Sepe, chairman of the Cranston Democratic City Committee. Sepe referred to the mayor’s trips to Guatemala and Mexico, ending with the comment, "P.S. Since Mr. Laffey is so enamored with Central America, he might want to call the White House and ask President Bush for an ambassadorial post. After all, isn’t the Laffey management style more closely akin to that of a two-bit banana republic dictator from the 1960s?"

According to Smith, "To pass Sepe’s letter off as an insult to Latinos is more insulting than Sepe’s premise that Laffey go into foreign service. Maybe if he wants to continue doing research about Latinos he should try Cuba?" Here’s the text of the Laffey letter:

Dear Latino Community:

Please take a moment to read the enclosed letter to the editor from Michael Sepe as printed in the Providence Journal. As many of you are aware, I am deeply committed to the fact that all people deserve the chance to live the American dream, and when I read comments such as those from Mr. Sepe, I am outraged that someone would attempt to undermine those efforts in the name of politics.

Even more offensive are the words he uses to demean the people of Mexico and the nations that comprise Central America. Clearly, if Mr. Sepe has this much resentment toward these specific groups, it seems clear that he will take issue with the efforts we take to improve the lives of all people regardless of race or religion.

I stand ready to continue to fight for all people to have a fair chance at a good life, but I will only succeed if you help me by standing up and responding to Mr. Sepe’s horrible insults to the Hispanic community.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact my office at 401-780-3110. If you would like to contact Mr. Sepe directly, his phone number is 401-942-2894.

Sincerely,

Stephen P. Laffey

Mayor

While P&J are indeed "hombres sincero," we don’t feel we can determine whether Sepe’s letter was an insult to the Hispanic community, as could a member of this growing group of Rhode Islanders. But we doubt it, since many are already living "the American dream" due to their own hard work and perseverance, without the assistance of the posturing Stephen Laffey. We would also imagine that more than a few are in the United States due in part to a desire to escape "two-bit banana republic dictator(s)" (who, quite sadly, in many cases ruled with the full support of the US government). Take off the little Superman outfit you bought at Benny’s, Stevie. We know you are just as precious as can be, but the act is quickly wearing thin.

Who’s our next caller?

GORDO AND DR. JOHN

As we have mentioned before, Phillipe & Jorge feel at times like we end up turning this space into an obituary column. (But a free one, Howard Sutton — please note.) Just recently, P&J lost two friends, both of whom we learned a great deal from in many ways.

Gordon Crossman of Wickford checked out after a wild and fun ride of 87 years. Despite numerous bypass operations and the installation of a pacemaker, he could still be seen on weekend nights dancing with young hotties at the Narragansett Café in Jamestown. He was a sailing fanatic who spent his winters in the Caribbean, and an absolute delight to be around. Your superior correspondents fondly remember our Thanksgiving tradition of picking Gordon up, along with Mr. Etchells, and heading off to the morning East Greenwich High School football game. And every year, once we arrived and were standing in the cold, Gordo’s magic Thermos of coffee and a flask would appear to take the nip out of the air and warm up the action. Only fond memories, Mr. Crossman. God love ya.

P&J also learned of the passing of John Gable, our former history teacher at Brown University, who was the executive director of the Theodore Roosevelt Association in Oyster Bay, New York, and generally regarded as one of the world’s leading authorities on TR. "Dr. John" — called this by his many friends more for the Mac Rebennack gris-gris gumbo ya-ya angle as his Ph.D. — was legend during his two years at Brown. In contrast to his placid demeanor and almost owlish professorial appearance, his teaching extended beyond the classroom to late night revels. He will be greatly missed by those who were fortunate enough to enjoy his wisdom and company.

Selah.

CORRECTIONS DEPT.

P&J last week reported in our review of the Providence Newspaper Guild Follies that Leith Johnson had played the superb bass line in the song parody set to the Beatles’ "Two of Us." Mr. Johnson informs us that Jim DeLillo performed it. We apologize to Mr. DeLillo.

This just goes to show you why P&J don’t regularly write about the mistakes that crop up in the BeloJo and other newspapers. We are human and are guilty of making plenty of stupid mistakes ourselves. So when, for instance, in an editorial appreciation of the late, great Ossie Davis, a play he performed in, Purlie Victorious, is called "Purple Victorious," we would generally let it pass, except when in the same piece, Spike Lee’s bio-pic about Malcolm X is referred to as "X" instead of its actual title, Malcolm X.

We understand that, in being a mean, lean budget cutting machine, the Belo Corporation probably has fewer editors than it should (and, even now, we suspect is plotting to replace as many as possible with rhesus monkeys spirited away from their regular jobs copy editing in television news rooms).

But a lot of this stuff still strikes us as funny. Last Sunday, March 6, for instance, there was a story on Pawtucket’s annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade in which "the Party Band of Warwick blasted the theme from The Blues Brothers on their trumpets." Too bad BeloJo pop music scribe Rick Massimo wasn’t lurking about the news room to tell them there is no theme from The Blues Brothers, but there is a song called "Can’t Turn You Loose," that Booker T & the MGs and the Bar-Kays horn section would play when Otis Redding hit the stage. Belushi and Aykroyd appropriate this in a moment of incredible hubris. We certainly hope to never hear Ravel’s Bolero referred to as "Bo Derek’s theme."

While trying to figure out how the "Political Scene" column this past Monday mistook the 10th president of the United States, John Tyler, for a "James Tyler," we began to suspect it was the "age" thing. In other words, a young copy editor may have gotten John Tyler confused with James Taylor, the folksinger. After all, they’re both really old. And it’s not like anyone in the general public remembers even half the US presidents from the 19th century.

P&J are sure to be making some big boner mistakes in upcoming weeks. If you catch them and they are embarrassingly stupid enough, we’ll reprint corrections the next week.

STOP BEING SO GAY

Our good friend Richard Walton caught this story, originally from the New Orleans Times-Picayune in the Progressive Review. He sends it along to your superior correspondents, noting that if ever there was a P&J story, this is it.

Spurred by a case of "Gay" pride, Leigh Clemons tried to order a New England Patriots jersey last month online. Clemons, an assistant professor in Louisiana State University’s Theater Department, had watched one of her former pupils, Patriots defensive back Randall Gay, play a key role in New England’s 24-21 win against Philadelphia in Super Bowl XXXIX and wanted to show her support for the former LSU standout. But the NFL intercepted her attempts in mid-February to buy a jersey, personalized with Gay’s name on the back, from NFLshop.com, the league’s official online merchandise center.

When Clemons entered the last name of the Patriots cornerback, her request was rejected. The Web site accompanied the rejection with a message that said, "This field should not contain a naughty word."

P&J can think of a couple of maybe not naughty, but accurate, words for the NFL and their official online merchandise center — "homophobic" and "moronic."

ADOPT A DOCTOR

The Rhode Island chapter of Adopt A Doctor is making a special one-time effort to pay the salaries of 12 doctors for 12 weeks in the tsunami-ravaged regions of Indonesia. Our old friend Ray Rickman is chairman for this effort, and he asked that we give the Web site info, which we are happy to do. It’s www.adoptadoctor.org/tsunami/. The Adopt A Doctor effort involves a team of Indonesian doctors, paramedics, and psychologists (known as IBU for Aceh) who provide free and ongoing medical and psychosocial care for survivors of the tsunami crisis, their families, and communities in the Meulaboh and Calang areas of Aceh, Indonesia

The Adopt a Doctor site explains, "Because of the hard work and the initiatives taken by the IBU team, they understand the overall situation, the geographic topography and the real needs of the tsunami victims in rural Aceh, Indonesia. Until now, IBU for Aceh has operated as a 100 percent volunteer force. However, to continue to be effective and to sustain efforts for a longer period of time, the group is now evolving into a full-fledged NGO, employing doctors, paramedics and psychologists. Adopt A Doctor has stepped in to help Clinic IBU provide ongoing medical care in Aceh, Indonesia. Your contribution to Adopt A Doctor will help keep this clinic active by providing food and shelter for doctors in Indonesia so they can continue to offer lifesaving medical care to tsunami victims. Your contribution is fully tax-deductible."

Consider helping with this effort. It offers direct and valuable services to people whose lives have been devastated by the tsunami. This will take years to address and our steadfastness is of primary importance.

Send charitable thoughts and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.