Take us out to the ballgame

A notable local politician who will go unnamed, lest we sully his good reputation, blessed Phillipe & Jorge with tickets to game three of the American League Championship Series between the Red Sox and Yankees on Sunday, October 17. Needless to say, we were among the many loonies of the Red Sox Nation howling at the moon (literally) early Monday morning when David "Big Papi" Ortiz wrapped up a fabled comeback by launching a two-run dinger into the right field seats in the 12th inning. That was a nice precursor to Big Papi knocking in the winning run the next night in the 14th inning, as the hits and high drama just kept on coming. The injured Curt Schilling pitched an incredible game on Tuesday, staking the Sox to a 4-2 win over the Yankees, setting the stage for another classic showdown between the two teams. (P&J went to press before game seven, so as you read this we are either shrouded in black or still recovering from another dizzying celebration.)

With wonderful seats just behind the Yankees’ dugout, we were treated to some rare celebrity encounters. First, we tried to engage the famed Mr. October, Reggie Jackson, in small talk as he huddled in the runway in back fedora and overcoat. If looks could kill, Phillipe would now be dead. The personable and gregarious Mr. Jackson evidently would have told him to go fuck himself had he considered it worth the trouble of speaking.

Yet the outgoing P. was undeterred by the icy reception, and found it in his means to attract the attention of Rudy Giuliani, former New York City mayor and current President Dubya butt-boy, sitting a few rows ahead of us. As Rudy, decked out in a Yankees cap, walked by our seats en route to the hot dog stand, we chirped out, "Why don’t you roll over for George Bush even more, you wimp," and he gave P. the $100 Gotham glare. P&J are always tasteful, and this proved no exception. At least five meretricious bodyguards, all dressed in black leather or black overcoats that could have easily concealed an AK-47, surrounded Giuliani at all times. And at least three appeared to have seen time at Rikers Island, if you can go by prominent knife scars and tattoos.

Always a treat to see the Sox at Fenway, however, despite having to mingle with the likes of Jackson and Giuliani.

Sleep tight, George Herman Ruth.

NO FACTS, PLEASE, WE'RE REPUBLICANS

We all know that President Dubya has never let facts or evidence get in his way when he decides to do something. The war in Iraq is the leading example. It has been established beyond a doubt that the Bush administration, long before September 11, wanted to attack Iraq. Even after 9/11, the primary justifications were that Saddam had WMD and Iraq was complicit with Al Qaeda in the terrorist attacks on America. Neither of these reasons turned out to be true. The shifting rationale for the war has become getting a foothold for spreading democracy throughout the Middle East. Once again, no evidence has been offered that this will happen or even that it’s much of a possibility.

Those who read Sunday’s New York Times Magazine article by Ron Suskind are likely scared out of their boots after learning that Bush deals with most issues the same way he did with Iraq. There is the conversation Suskind had with former Bush EPA chief Christie Todd Whitman, for example, in which she says, "In meetings, I’d ask if there were any facts to support our case. And for that, I was accused of disloyalty?"

The article contains testimony from a broad assortment of witnesses, including Christopher DeMuth, president of the American Enterprise Institute (hardly a liberal), who describes the Bush inner circle as "both exclusive and exclusionary." Then there’s US Representative Tom Lantos of California, who mentioned the Swedish Army during a conversation in the Oval Office, only to have Bush tell him that Sweden doesn’t have an army. When Lantos tried to sugarcoat it, saying, "Perhaps you thought that I said Switzerland," Bush continued to insist that Sweden doesn’t have an army.

Needless to say, the Times magazine piece is frightening in its description of a president who relies on "his gut" and "faith" almost entirely, treating facts and evidence as inconvenient obstacles to his all-knowing, infallible view of things.

Interestingly, the Sunday BeloJo had an M. Charlie Bakst column suggesting, in our view, how some local Republicans are on a similar wavelength as the president. Patricia Morgan, chairwoman of the RI GOP, is opposing House Speaker William Murphy in his West Warwick district. Your superior correspondents have never hesitated to criticize leaders at Halitosis Hall, and Murphy’s no exception. So the idea of some strong Republican competition for his seat would seem to be good news.

But it appears that Morgan doesn’t like such inconveniences as "facts" and "evidence," perhaps just because she’s a Republican. Asked by M. Charles about the people who supposedly complained to her about Murphy’s campaign supposedly putting up signs on their property without their permission, she couldn’t produce any names. Nor could she offer names after asserting in a speech that a number of companies are afraid to come to Vo Dilun because of corruption, and since "they have to pay legislators to get legislation passed." By way of explanation, she claimed that the governor had spoken to her about it.

So M. Charles asked "The Don" for some names, and the governor’s response started, "I’m sure it may be true. I don’t know of anybody that said that to me, but I know how people think."

It’s great to be a Republican when "the truth" means never having to prove anything.

PRESCIENCE

Our good friend Mr. T sends along P&J’s quote of the week from the garrulous political consultant James Carville:

"Back in 2000 a Republican friend warned me that if I voted for Al Gore and he won, the stock market would tank, we’d lose millions of jobs, and our military would be totally overstretched. You know what? I did vote for Gore, he did win, and I’ll be damned if all those things didn't come true!"

PARANOIA, ANYONE?

Phillipe & Jorge don’t like to lift things in toto, but we couldn’t tell the following absolutely frightening story any better than the folks at KLAS-TV in Las Vegas, Nevada, as it recently appeared on the station’s Web site, under the headline "Voter Registrations Possibly Trashed." Ain’t it fun living in the Bushies’ idea of a democracy?

Employees of a private voter registration company allege that hundreds, perhaps thousands, of voters who may think they are registered will be rudely surprised on Election Day. The company claims hundreds of registration forms were thrown in the trash.

Anyone who has recently registered or re-registered to vote outside a mall or grocery store or even government building may be affected.

The I-Team has obtained information about an alleged widespread pattern of potential registration fraud aimed at Democrats. Thee focus of the story is a private registration company called Voters Outreach of America, AKA America Votes.

The out-of-state firm has been in Las Vegas for the past few months, registering voters. It employed up to 300 part-time workers and collected hundreds of registrations per day, but former employees of the company say that Voters Outreach of America only wanted Republican registrations.

Two former workers say they personally witnessed company supervisors rip up and trash registration forms signed by Democrats.

"We caught her taking Democrats out of my pile, handed them to her assistant, and he ripped them up right in front of us. I grabbed some of them out of the garbage and she tells her assistant to get those from me," said Eric Russell, former Voters Outreach employee.

Eric Russell managed to retrieve a pile of shredded paperwork including signed voter registration forms, all from Democrats. We took them to the Clark County Election Department and confirmed that they had not, in fact, been filed with the county as required by law.

So the people on those forms who think they will be able to vote on Election Day are sadly mistaken. We attempted to speak to Voters Outreach, but found that its office has been rented out to someone else.

The landlord says Voters Outreach was evicted for non-payment of rent. Another source said the company has now moved on to Oregon where it is once again registering voters. It’s unknown how many registrations may have been tossed out, but another ex-employee told Eyewitness News she had the same suspicions when she worked there . . . The company has been largely, if not entirely funded, by the Republican National Committee. Similar complaints have been received in Reno where the registrar has asked the FBI to investigate."

Sleep tight, Founding Fathers. God bless Orwell, er, excuse us, America.

DAVE'S DILEMMA

Your superior correspondents watched the Patrick Kennedy/ Dave Rogers face-off on Channel 12 last week with much interest. Kudos to WPRI/WNAC for repeating the half-hour forum a number of times, and Jack White and Scott MacKay did their usual fine job.

There seemed to be a strange element of illogic in the presentation of "Divin’ Dave," however. One of his major claims was that electing him, a member of the majority party in the House, would bolster the Biggest Little’s clout in DC. He also claimed that, since Kennedy has been in the minority party during his entire career in the House, Patrick is at a great disadvantage when it comes to getting things done.

But then Dave, during his prepared concluding statements, pulled out the old Reagan chestnut, "Are you better off today than you were . . . " when Patrick first went to Congress? Are you doing better financially, getting better, more affordable health-care, and so forth? Is Dave trying to tell us that Patrick Kennedy is secretly controlling the country, not the Republicans who occupy the White House and have majorities in both houses of Congress? If we’re not doing so well today, Dave, I’d say that Mr. Tax Cuts For the Rich has got a lot more ’splainin’ to do than Patrick.

Speaking of "tax cuts for the rich" a phrase with which Dave took umbrage — promptly launching the standard charge of "class warfare" — have you ever heard anyone use this phrase other than the wealthy or their stooges? They’re so afraid that the poor middle class schlubs who bankroll the country (because the rich are getting a largely free ride) might catch on. Sorry, Dave, it is class warfare, and we hope you enjoy bending over for the other side.

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