Cranston ‘earthquake’ fails to register

For all the hyperbole and melodrama, your superior correspondents never, for a minute, thought that Cranston Mayor Stephen "Laugh at Me" Laffey would lose his primary. No "earthquake" or great message came out of that election. Here’s the reality: Laffey has been a capable (at times inspired and at times ham-fisted and overly contentious) mayor and municipal administrator. Based on his media portrayal, Laffey’s primary opponent, Gary Reilly, found it hard enough to string together a coherent sentence, let alone convince most Cranstonians that he could be an effective administrator. Where the union geniuses came up with this turkey is a mystery. Despite their juice in the General Assembly, the unions (in particular, public employee unions) have shown little ability to galvanize the vote in municipal elections.

Exhibit A is the 2002 Providence mayoral primary. Former mayor Joseph Paolino had virtually all the union endorsements. What did they do for him in terms of delivering the vote? Bupkis.

So anyone who thought that this would be a close contest was dreaming. "Laugh-at-me," of course, could not restrain himself from proclaiming some sort of historic victory. (In Laffey’s addled mind, everything he does is "historic," and all campaigns great contests between good and evil.) "Laugh at Me" is as much a "man of the people" as is his hero, G.W. Bush, another bully and imposter running against an inept opponent.

The gap between rich and poor continues to grow. What will Laffey and Bush do about that? It would appear that the Republican answer is more supply-side economics or just hand all of the money to the rich and powerful, and they’ll know what to do with it.

Laffey has some talent as a mayor. This is, in essence, an executive janitorial position (not to be sneered at, but that’s what it is), and not the position of a philosopher-king. Unfortunately, this is how "Laugh at Me" seems to see perceive himself. This guy should not be elected to a position where his "philosophy" will have any bearing (such as Congress or the Senate). He is a right-wing extremist with a stated notion that he is in contact with God, just as dubious as Bush, Osama, and the rest of the monotheists who, basically, are at odds with the secular heritage that made America great. We expect Laffey to win the November election, aggressively filling potholes, clearing snow, and picking up the garbage in Cranston. He has done well, but — please — enough of his right-wing twaddle.

TOO BAD THEY CAN'T KEEP THE OLD NAME

Your superior correspondents have always been big fans of Options, the official organ (if we dare be so bold as to call it that) of the Biggest Little’s LGBT community. In the September issue, there’s a feature story by Jim Faria about the closing of the Loft, that fabulously superior watering hole (dance club, bar, swimming pool) in Smithfield. After 28 years, it is a virtual institution and will be greatly missed.

Tucked away near the end of the story was something that we had not read anywhere else. Bob Thibeault, the owner of the Loft and a veteran club impresario, plans to open a large superior club (two floors, between 4000 and 6000 square feet) in the building on Weybosset Street that housed Axelrod Music for almost 90 years. He’s hoping to open in a couple of months.

DUBYATALK

Like all good folks who, through human nature, believe it is always the other person’s legislator or teacher who is a crook or screw-up, P&J always have the sense that our National Guard members are the cream of the crop. Well, it appears that the local Guard leadership is beginning to manifest the secretiveness of the Bush administration, admitting no wrongdoing even when caught with its arm in the cookie jar up to the elbow.

The lovely and incisive BeloJo reporter Kathy "Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill" Gregg did an excellent job on following up on a July 25 event in which a National Guard helicopter’s downdraft caused damage to a number of customized cars at the Autos of the World Car Show at Goddard Memorial State Park in Warwick.

It is not so much that someone obviously made a mistake, and cars had their hoods blown off and bodies scratched by flying debris. What’s worse is how Guard officials have been stonewalling and releasing at least one bit of mistaken information since the Urinal began looking into the incident. When the Urinal filed a request for information on August 27, the Department of Environmental Management, which runs Goddard Park, immediately responded, to DEM’s credit. According to Gregg, the Guard has yet to reply with details about the incident, with its weasel-ly spokesperson, Lieutenant Colonel Michael McNamara, giving this obnoxious, arrogant, and snotty response to the Urinal: "We have 20 days to respond to your request. The lawyer has to review [the material] to make sure there is no personal information that we don’t have the right to release to you . . . . To be perfectly honest with you, your request is not on the top of the lawyer’s pot."

This type of attitude toward legitimate information requests has become a trademark of the Bush administration, starting with Big Time Cheney’s energy task force and continuing through Abu Ghraib with lies and concealment. The public deserves much better from those who work for us, at our tax-funded expense. It’s sad to see that this disease is now taking hold in our own Little Rhody.

We offer a tip of the beret and sombrero to Ms. Gregg. Much of our national mass media have become essentially spokesmen and women for Boy George’s cabal, parroting much of what they say without looking into the truth. It’s nice to see someone from the Fourth Estate following author Toni Morrison’s line referencing the African-American women who did all the heavy lifting at the phone company in New York City: Talk shit, take none.

A-HOLES IN ONE

While it was fairly evident that many Americans were rooting against the spoiled National Basketball Association brats that made up our Olympic basketball team, there weren’t many tears shed over the US loss to the European team in golf’s showcase Ryder Cup this past weekend.

Despite the presence of a real drawling, down-home, non-playing captain in Hal Sutton, the churlishness of stars Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson set the stage for the public ass-kicking absorbed by the Americans at the hands of the less glamorous big names from abroad. Although Sutton avoided making his pairings ahead of time based on who the players felt "comfortable" playing with, he did try to put some spark into the team. Still, he did himself no favors pairing Woods and Mickelson on the first day. And those two stars, who people already knew not to seat next to each other at a dinner party, pouted all through their first two (losing) matches, rarely speaking and treating each other like lepers.

Reporters may give Woods a hard time about his recent run of tournaments without winning a major, but they also have done a good job covering for his frequent tantrums, club-bashing, and swearing, since he is American golf’s golden boy. There was nowhere to hide in the Ryder Cup, and Woods and Mickelson became the poster boys for a failure of epic proportions. Get over yourself, guys.

APOCRYPHAL NOW

P&J’s golfing buddy Doc sent along some purported quotes, from commentators and athletes during the Athens Olympics, that are making the rounds from radio to e-mail listservs. Although some of these are doubtless of dubious origin, they produce a chuckle, so here’s a sampler:

• Equestrian-dressage commentator: "This is a really lovely horse and I speak from personal experience, since I once mounted her mother."

• Boxing commentator: "Indeed, boxing is a sport that can lead to injuries and even some deaths, but none of them really that serious."

• Softball commentator: "This USA team has yet to lose. They won the gold in the last Olympics. If history repeats itself, then I think we can expect the same thing to happen, again."

• Paul Hamm, men’s all-around gymnastics gold medal winner: "I owe it all to my parents, especially my Mom and Dad."

• Basketball commentator: "He likes to dribble a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact, you can see the effect of his dribbling all over their faces."

FOR THE LOVE OF PAUL

It has been 10 years since the passing of Paul Murphy, one of the finest and most beloved musicians Rhode Island has ever known. Paul’s influence as a musician was broad and deep. He played rock, blues, jazz, Celtic, and folk music, all deftly, with a variety of great bands.

For the many people who were fortunate enough to know Paul personally, he was as fine a person and as good a friend as anyone could want. No one was more upbeat or supportive of other musicians and artists. Funny, smart, talented, and generous, Paul’s death left a major hole in thousands of peoples’ lives.

This Sunday, September 26 starting at 4 p.m., a lot of Paul’s friends, including a number of his best musical friends, will gather at the Hi-Hat in Davol Square to honor him, play some music, and raise scholarship money for Providence’s Music School. Dennis McCarthy, the great blues/jazz/soul-singing native Rhode Islander who relocated to Florida some years ago, will be back in town for the show. A number of videos of Paul performing in various bands will be screened in the spacious back room at the Hi-Hat.

Also performing will be a band from the aforementioned Music School. Paul always took time from his busy schedule of performing and recording to teach young players. The Music School honored Paul a decade ago by naming its stage band the Paul Murphy Ensemble, and the proceeds from this performance will go toward Music School scholarships for young musicians. Go for the great music, go to see old friends and go because remembering Paul and the great gift of his life will make you feel good.

SO LONG TO A FRIEND

John Notte III died last week. Yes, his father was once our governor, but John was a personal hero to P&J, because he was for many years the "point guy" at the state’s Public Utilities Commission for cable television. Anyone out there who has been involved with public access television owes John a debt of thanks, since he was one of public access’ greatest advocates. Jorge, who worked in cable television in its earliest days in Vo Dilun, believes that the cable companies, who had no great interest in retaining public access, leased access, and local origination programming, may have gotten rid of such stuff if it weren’t for John. His knowledge of and enthusiasm for homemade populist TV was boundless. Our deepest sympathies go to his family.

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