Bridge over troubled waters

How can we miss you if you won’t go away?

This is an apt statement for the old Jamestown Bridge, the demolition of which has hit yet another snag that will delay the demise of the old bridge. (This, may we add, will increase its chances of falling or being knocked down. Local divers have known for years that the some of the descending support columns don’t even touch the parts anchored into the bottom of the Bay, below the waterline and out of sight. So a runaway barge hitting the bridge, or a hurricane combining sufficient wind and water turmoil, stand a fair chance of doing the job on their own. Wouldn’t it be just dandy if it toppled into the new span and damaged that as well?) Phillipe and Jorge again offer our suggestion to the Rhode Island Lottery Commission — a swell new betting game could be offered by selling tickets based on predictions of the date and time when the bridge comes a-tumbling down, due to some unforeseen act of nature or negligence.

The problem now is twofold. First, the proposed use of the disassembled bridge was creating five artificial reefs in nearby ocean waters. Now, however, after protests from local fishermen, the Army Corps of Engineers has decided to prohibit the concept, since instead of being a neat little pro-environment initiative, it constitutes "ocean dumping," which is a no-no.

P&J’s wonderful and lovely friend, Sue Licardi, who is North Kingstown’s water director, has also objected to the idea of moving the water line that NK uses to pump water to Jamestown (to help out in times of drought) from the old span to the sidewalk of the new bridge. Obstructing the footpath and making it more vulnerable to vandalism were Ms. Licardi’s very good reasons for saying no to the idea. (And speaking of saying no, P&J have said for years Jamestowners are damn lucky that NK helps them during water shortages. We guarantee you if the shoe was on the other foot, J-towners would have said "pogue mahone" to their North Kingstown friends years ago.)

Oh well, at least visitors to Little Rhody will still get a chance to see our gigantic tribute to Erector Sets for a few more years.

LIFE UPSIDE-DOWN

Now that nearby residents and commuters have been riled by the information about the effect of the Democratic convention on Hub traffic in late July, giving Republicans a long, loud laugh at their opponents’ expense, let’s chat about the GOP confab. The Republican party animals will gather in New York City, from August 30 to September 2, at Madison Square Garden.

The GOP national committee selected the Big Apple essentially so they could cynically and disgustingly play upon the patriotic sentiments generated by the tragedy of September 11. P&J are sure we will get some sort of posturing and posed reprise of President Dubya with his arm around a firefighter and bullhorn in hand at Ground Zero, with flags flapping madly in the background. Of course, no mention will be made of the Bushies’ failure to follow through on more federal funding for New York’s firefighters and police officers, the city’s bravest and finest, who put their lives on the line as they went in when others were racing out. (Although P&J promise that Boy George and Co. will doubtless announce a huge injection of money to the city and its first responders just before the convention, the better to curry favor among the ranks and the local media, who will obligingly kneel to kiss Dubya’s keister during his party’s stay in Gotham.) Nor will we hear much about the untold risk to which those folks and many others working at the scene were exposed. This is because Georgie’s hired hands muzzled the EPA over the health threat of the airborne pollutants, like asbestos, that were everywhere after the Twin Towers collapsed.

Your superior correspondents can’t wait to hear the commotion when the city of New York announces what kind of precautions it will have to take for the GOP ceremonies, especially since it features the world’s most feared man, with more than a few detractors American and otherwise.

Madison Square Garden is in the heart of New York City, on Seventh Avenue between 31st and 33rd streets. Traffic is already a nightmare there. The site sits atop Penn Station, the hub for Amtrak trains along the Eastern seaboard, a main departure and arrival point for Long Island Railroad commuters, as well as a critical juncture for New York’s subway system. It is one of the most chaotic places you will ever see, and the idea of the police providing proper security without totally upending, re-routing, and/or ruining the everyday lives of the people who have to pass through there is a virtual impossibility. While the national and local media have already reported on how many protests are being planned against Dubya and his unspeakable corps of radical right-wing GOP brethren, we have heard little about the disruption that the convention will bring to the city’s residents and workers. P&J are sure Mayor Michael Bloomberg is dreading the day he has to make this announcement and point out the various hurdles New Yawkers will have to overcome so the Bushies can stage their dog-and-pony photo op exercise.

So get your chuckles about Boston now, you Grand Old Party types, because the only thing Dubya and his creepy entourage are going to get is glares in the Big Apple. Make our day.

IRAQ UPDATE

Via our friend Richard Walton, we received this bit of information (not widely disseminated in the US media) about some of the machinations involved in the Iraqi power equation. It’s from Bill Beeman, the Middle East expert and professor at Brown University. We think that you’ll find it as interesting as we did.

The choice of Iyad Allawi as prime minister-designate of Iraq further cements Ahmad Chalabi’s hold on power, virtually guaranteeing that he and his family will be the rulers of Iraq in the future. A look at the post-June 30 government reveals that virtually all of the players are from the Chalabi extended family.

Ahmad Chalabi has been the Iraqi leader of choice by Donald Rumsfeld and the American Department of Defense since long before the invasion of Iraq. In him they felt they had a reliable "plumber" who could represent American interests. Since he would be beholden to the United States for his office, he would "cooperate" with the United States in military, political, and economic matters. Chalabi was somewhat discredited in recent weeks for having misled the United States concerning the presence of Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, and for his undisguised ambitions for power. Supporting a surrogate for himself from his own family was diabolically clever on his part, allowing him to bide his time until after the American presidential election, when he could emerge to assume a clear leadership position.

Although Ahmad Chalabi was not present for the vote on Iyad Allawi, his representative cast a positive vote. It is notable that in choosing Allawi, the council also acceded to Ahmad Chalabi’s wish that they not choose the neutral, 80-year-old Sunni, Adnan Pachachi, former Iraqi ambassador to the U.N. under the pre-1958 monarchy. Ahmad Chalabi despised Pachachi, claiming that he was both outmoded and irrelevant. (P&J note: The United States is pushing for Pachachi for president of Iraq, but, while Joanie may love Pachachi, the Iraqi Governing Council apparently doesn’t.)

The new prime minister-designate, Iyad Allawi, is related to Ahmad Chalabi through his sister. Chalabi was successful in installing his sister’s son, Ali Allawi as minister of trade, and then minister of defense in the post-June 30 cabinet. Iyad is Ali’s cousin. He does have power in his own right, as head of a political party that opposed Saddam Hussein, the Iraq National Accord (INA), which is full of former military officers. Moreover, the minister of interior, Nouri Badran, is married to Iyad Allawi’s sister.

By the way, since we know that many of our readers are also friends of Richard Walton’s (the longtime activist, and advocate for peace and justice, author of numerous books on US foreign policy, and one-time third party vice presidential candidate), we want to alert you to this. Richard’s annual birthday party, a major event for political progressives, is this Sunday, June 6. It’s a potluck happening at the Walton Compound in scenic Pawtuxet Cove (you all know where he lives) starting at 2 p.m. It’s also a fundraiser for Amos House and the Providence-Niquinohomo Sister City Project. It’s always great fun and good for your soul.

GETTING SMARTER?

Your superior correspondents were greatly amused by the article in the "Week in Review" section of the Sunday New York Times concerning the end of television commercials as we know them. The analysis, written by Thomas Hine, noted that the age of remote control, endless cable choices, and TiVo means that fewer consumers are vulnerable to this classic bulwark of marketing.

Despite these new television realities, Gary Cross, a Penn State professor of media, suggests that the world of marketing will merely adapt and thrive like cockroaches. The good news is that today’s youth seem to be merely interested in the style and form of commercials, and according to Christopher Ireland, head of a market consulting firm, "pay little or no attention to the ad’s message . . . [something] their parents never learned." Let’s hope so.

RIP . . .

. . . Sam Dash and Alexander Cox, who died on the same day last week. They were a couple of profiles in courage and integrity.

SLOGAN OF THE WEEK

Your superior correspondents received a recent note from Ms. Marlena Paulson who wants to know "if there was any news regarding the case of the residents of Oak & Troy streets in Olneyville." As reported a few months back in the Phoenix, a large number of artists were living in loft spaces that were not zoned for residency there. Abruptly and with no warning, they were evicted in January on the one of the coldest days of the year. The landlord had lease agreements with a number of the residents, and there has been threatened legal action.

So far as we know, Marlena, there has been no court activity in this matter. If something happens, you can be sure that the Phoenix will have it first.

Meanwhile, Ms. Paulson, in telling us how much she loves the Cool, Cool World, used a slogan new to P&J. To wit, "Rock out with your cocks out!" Indeed, Marlena, the weather at this time of the year seems conducive to such activity. P&J would like to thank you for thinking of us.

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