Thanks for the memories

The citizens of Vo Dilun should be on their feet, offering a standing ovation to our wonderful and courageous outgoing US attorney, Meg Curran, who resigned on August 22 after five splendid years in the job. The departure was prompted by Curran’s having multiple sclerosis, which was reportedly beginning to affect her eyesight and movement.

Meg, a Casa Diablo Hall of Famer, in addition to being the first woman to hold the federal post in Rhode Island, also took the lead in bringing down Mayor Buddy "Vincent A." Cianci for his malfeasance in office. The Bud-I had an air of invincibility when Curran went after him for corruption, and it is a testament to her tenacity and thoroughness that her team won a conviction against him — a victory for all the residents of the Biggest Little. It was this sort of character and intelligence that led Senator Linc Chafee to recommend that Curran stay on after President Bush was elected. (No doubt anticipating Meg’s imminent departure, he nominated another much-respected figure at Casa D., GOP party honcho Brad Gorham, for the post, and he’s awaiting confirmation.)

Thanks, Meg. We all owe you, big time.

Gag us with a joystick

Yes, folks, it is true. For just $39.95 you can get your own official Elite Force Aviator action figure from KB Toys. And whom does it feature? The renowned Navy fighter pilot — President Dubya Bush. (Well, he isn’t really a Navy pilot — he just plays one on TV.)

Just hop on the Web and go to http://www.kbtoys.com/genProduct.html?PID=2431939&ctid=17&ls=toys, and you’ll be treated to a 12-inch replica of Boy George, tricked out in the Top Gun costume he wore while delaying the return of troops to San Diego, so he could land on the deck of an aircraft carrier and pose before a huge banner that read, "Mission Accomplished." (Well, "kinda" accomplished, provided you ignore the way in which at least one US soldier is getting offed per day in Iraq.)

The copy for Poppy’s action man says, "This incredibly detailed figure is a fitting addition to the collection of those interested in US history, military memorabilia and toy action figures." Funny, they forgot to add, "Despite the fact that the person represented dodged his National Guard duty in Alabama during the Vietnam War, thanks to his Daddy pulling a few strings." We guess that’s the US history lesson we can take away from fondling the Dubya doll. And as for one’s interest in toy action figures, we agree that Boy George fits the bill as a toy, replete with a plastic head filled with air.

WOUNDED

Speaking of Iraq and our troops getting killed, wasn’t it nice for our action man president and his chicken hawk friends at the Pentagon to cut the pay of our combat soldiers? Even though they’re sitting ducks in the hoary-handed sons of the desert’s shooting gallery, the Pentagon is trying to rescind their $75 monthly raise in "imminent danger pay," and $150 monthly in "family separation allowances." No doubt the troops were informed of this just before they were told to unpack their duffel bags and prepare for a much longer stay than originally envisioned. Meanwhile, Rummy Rumsfeld, Richard Perle, and Paul Wolfowitz are dining out in Georgetown and other elite Washington destinations.

Hats off as well to the New York Times, for its August 25 report on wounded soldiers. Phillipe and Jorge were ready to raise this issue this week, when Robert Worth’s article appeared about the Army hospital in Mahmudiya, 20 miles south of Baghdad, telling of the American doctors and nurses who treat not only US troops, but Iraqi fighters and United Nations personnel.

While hundreds of American troops have died in the Iraq invasion and occupation — and no matter what the media ostriches write on instructions from the White House, remember that we invaded Iraq and we occupy the country — many more have been wounded. But we hear little of these military people and their plight. In many, many cases, these are horrific battle injuries, resulting in amputations and surgeries that will forever change the patients’ lives. You don’t get sent to Mahmudiya for a splinter or a speck of sand in your eye. As Paul Fussell points out in his gripping book, Wartime: Understanding and Behavior In the Second World War, the media rarely report on this, and for morale purposes, the military is not very forthcoming. But the realities of war are ugly; Fussell describes how it was not made very public during WWII when a soldier was killed by the flying West Point class ring of an officer who’d been blown up by a mine. Not exactly family fare.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. What casualties?

BIG BABIES

Don’t you just love the attitude of the Boston Red Sox players who whine about the fans and media getting down on them? It couldn’t be anything to do with how they play, could it? Nomar Garciaparra, Manny Ramirez, Derek Lowe, and Pedro Martinez have set up their own little rules about speaking — or not speaking, to be closer to the truth — to reporters. And the coddled Martinez also blew off the team picture, which is as bush league as you can get. What’s that expression about a $15 million dollar arm and a five cent head?

Pawtucket, Vo Dilun's arts capital

Economic woes continue to cut deeply into the Biggest Little’s plethora of celebrations and arts-related festivals. The first shot was the news in May that the frequency of Providence’s storied WaterFire evenings would be cut back this year. As it turned out, new corporate sponsorship was found and most WaterFires were restored. Then, in June, word got out that the capital city’s annual First Night was in financial difficulty and might be canceled. In Cranston, the annual Fall Festival, a 20-year tradition, appears to be a no-go. And earlier this week, Convergence, another major arts event in Providence, was postponed for this year. None of this bodes well for the state of the arts, nor for our much-ballyhooed tourism industry.

On a brighter note, however, Pawtucket will be holding its fifth annual Arts Festival from September 5-21, and this year’s model appears to be bigger and better than ever. Almost all of the events are free (there is a six-night film series that includes a $10 entry fee, but it includes a festival T-shirt, musical performances, and the chance to nibble crackers and cheese, and drink some Sam Adams beer).

So what’s Pawtucket’s secret? While other arts events are hard pressed to come up with sponsorship money, Pawtucket has combined a grant from the Rhode Island State Council on the Arts with city money and donations from more than 140 local businesses, raising nearly $100,000 to date. According to Herb Weiss, Pawtucket’s point man for all things celebratory, 18 companies lined up by the city will provide an additional $85,000 in in-kind donations (things like print and radio advertising, billboards, buttons and T-shirts) and another 44 companies plan to donate food, drink, and linens, etc.

So let’s hear it for Mayor Doyle and the good business people of Pawtucket. By P&J’s count, more than 200 Pawtucket-based businesses have chipped in to make the city’s Arts Festival a shining example of what can be done even in a depressed economy. Perhaps the leadership in Providence and Cranston should consult with Pawtucket to find out just how they’ve managed to pull this off by getting so many people on board.

Werewolves of La Prov

Your superior correspondents have been catching a lot of Warren Zevon stories lately. As music fans know, Zevon is suffering from terminal lung cancer and he’s not going down without a fight. He’s got a new CD out, VH1 recently aired a documentary on the artist, and all this attention, just maybe, will lead some people to check out Zevon’s gem-studded back catalogue ("Excitable Boy," "Werewolves of London," "Lawyers, Guns and Money," "Sentimental Hygiene," and P&J’s personal favorite, "Boom Boom Mancini," among others).

Jack Newton recently reminded his cousin Jorge of the latter’s encounter with Warren some 20 years ago. Zevon was doing a club tour in the early ’80s. No band — just vocals, guitar, and piano. Warren did not want bands as opening acts and he asked specifically for comedians. He was booked into the old Living Room (these were the Big Bubble years over at the Foundry off Promenade Street) and Randy Hien, Living Room head ramrod, was in a quandary. He had never booked a local comedian and didn’t know any.

Randy soon got the brilliant idea to call up Jorge. Hien said, "You’re funny — can’t you do a 20-minute routine?" Jorge pleaded with Randy that he was not a comedian and didn’t have a 20-minute routine, but Mr. Hien was not to be denied. He said, "You’ve gotta do it. I’ll give you a little more money." (Has anyone ever heard such a comment from Randy? We doubt it.)

So Jorge dutifully arrived at the Living Room to find a packed house. He went to the dressing room to discover Warren Zevon in his underwear, far from ready to go on. "I’m the alleged comedian," Jorge said. "When do you want me to go on?" Zevon suggested waiting a bit more.

Meanwhile, the "fans" were getting seriously stoked on the beer being served in plastic cups. They were hollering for Warren and had no idea there was an opening act. After far too long, Jorge took the stage to face some of the most profound indifference he has ever met. From the first moment on stage, he could tell that virtually no one was going to pay attention. Worse, with only Zevon’s piano as the backdrop, the audience started pelting Jorge with the plastic cups of beer. Jorge’s 20-minute routine quickly got cut down to about six minutes. His main concern, however, was that the beer would screw up the keyboard on Warren’s piano.

Jorge quickly headed backstage, where Warren was still sitting in his underwear. Jorge smiled and shook his head. Warren Zevon just shrugged.

R.I.P.

. . . longtime Pawtucket resident, Fanny the Elephant, who brought a lot of little kids a lot of enjoyment, and it being Pawtucket, never had to flack for a Republican candidate.

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