Ex-Boyfriend blues

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

Every time I see an ex-boyfriend, I really feel down. It happens with guys who I broke up with and those that broke up with me, even though I’m now dating a guy who’s far superior to any of them. I’m 24 years old and have never been married. Please advise me.

_Annie

Dear Annie,

You might be so focused on having a successful relationship that you feel anxiety. Maybe you’re wondering if you’re ever going to meet the right guy, or if you’re ever going to get married. A failed relationship can be a reminder of this anxiety. You should relax a bit and put things into perspective. Of course, you might not really be all that crazy about your current boyfriend, and despite his alleged "superiority," desire to be with someone else.

THE PLUNGE

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m an 18-year-old virgin. I’ve known this guy for four years and we’re pretty good friends. Lately, he’s been talking about wanting to have sex with me. I’ve been thinking about it, but I’m afraid that once he gets it, he won’t have any reason to talk to me anymore. He says that that won’t happen, but I don’t know.

_On the Verge

Dear On,

Having sex usually does change things between people. Still, it’s hard to believe that this guy has been plotting for four years to have sex with you once only to then dispose of you and your friendship. If you’ve been friends for four years, you will likely continue to be friends, although your relationship will probably change. You have to decide whether it’s worth it, but I don’t think your friendship is not in jeopardy

sWITCH HITTING

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

Is it wrong to want to see another guy’s dick? What about wanting to suck it? Why do I have such a big urge to do this? I know I’m not gay. Can you help me out? Thanks.

_21 and Wondering

Dear 21,

Let’s see if Dr. Lovemonkey has this (you’ll pardon the word) straight. You’re very interested in wanting to see and suck other guys’ dicks, but you know that you’re not gay? You might want to revisit your certainty on this issue. Perhaps you are bisexual. People have sexual desires because they are sexual desires, and one of your sexual desires is of a same-sex nature.

TOUCHING MATTERS

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m a 37-year-old woman who has never been married. I think that my boyfriend of the past two years is masturbating when he goes up to shower. I asked him and he said that he was not. Is there any way I can know for sure? Is there any test that I can do? I know this sounds really stupid, but I am 37 and I really need to know if I am with the right guy. I love him so much, but I need to know.

_PJ from Fall River

Dear PJ,

How does his masturbating in the bathroom make him the right guy or the wrong guy? The basic fact of the matter is that guys jerk off. They do it whether they’re happily involved in a relationship or not. Your interest in rooting around for evidence is an image that will ruin my week.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@prodigy.net.