Double Dipper

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been going out with a man for almost two years. We’re both in our mid-30s. Every time we get together, it’s either at my house, a restaurant, or a similar setting. I found out recently that he has been deceiving me about where he lives. Instead of living alone, he resides in a house with a woman about 10 years older than him. In denying an intimate relationship, he said he functions as sort of a handy man for her, and because he’s so helpful, he pays only a very small rent.

I was willing to buy this, but whenever I suggest that I meet this woman, my boyfriend is insistent that I don’t. He says she’s very happy with the arrangement, and that it might upset her if she were to meet me. We’ve been discussing marriage, but it has been moving very slowly, and now I think I know why.

Should I have the right to meet this woman? Is it unfair for him to keep me away?

_Irritated in Mansfield

Dear Irritated,

Whether you wish to meet this woman is up to you, but I would suggest that the proper course of action would be dropping this guy like a bad habit. He can’t be trusted. He misrepresented his living situation to you, and he’s blocking you from discovering more about the basic circumstances of his life. That tells Dr. Lovemonkey, indeed, that there is more to his relationship with the "roommate" than meets the eye, and that he is playing you and her. Drop him immediately.

two-timing bum

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I suspected my boyfriend was cheating on me for a long time, and just last week, I finally caught him. We’ve been together a long time, and I really do care for him. I am able to forgive him and believe we can work it out, but he insists on retaining a friendship with the woman he was cheating with. He tells me that he intends to keep seeing her socially — coffee, lunch, etc. I can’t believe this, but he argues that it is normal, and that I’m being unreasonable. What gives?

_Irate

Dear Irate,

He gives. He either gives up seeing her socially, or you walk. Actually, you should walk anyway. He’s been lying to you for who knows how long, and now claims that he will be able to shift an affair into a "friendship" — and the reason why is that he got caught. This guy sucks, and has no intention of changing his ways.

change of persuasion

Dear Dr Lovemonkey,

I was going out with a guy for almost six months. He broke up with me. When I didn’t understand why, he told me it was because he was gay. A lot of our friends were not surprised to hear about this, but I was devastated. I still run into him now and then. He always tells me how much he likes me and how great I look. I can’t help but think that there’s something else going on here. What do you think?

_Truly Confused

Dear Truly,

I think he’s gay.