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Switch-hitting


Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

A quote from last week’s column: "As Woody Allen observed, being bi doubles your chances of getting a date on Saturday night."

I feel compelled to note that Mr. Allen, although I’m sure he was kidding, was dead wrong on this point. I’m not sure how it is for bi guys, but bi women have about half as much chance as their gay and/or straight sisters of getting a date on Saturday night.

In my experience, approximately 95 percent of straight males, when presented with the information that one is a bisexual female, automatically become either turned off (rare), or distracted by the image of you in bed with one of his, or one of my, female friends. (In this dream, he is either in the bed, or in the corner, holding the video camera.) This really isn’t what being bisexual is all about.

On the other hand, most of the lesbians I’ve met automatically cross bisexual women off their list of potential dates. I don’t begrudge them this attitude, but I can’t say that I understand it, either.

— Wednesday Girl

Dear Wednesday,

I appreciate you sharing your experiences and observations in this matter. As you probably gathered from last week’s reply, Dr. Lovemonkey believes that "Sick" — who was having difficulty in romantically approaching men and women — is not having a problem because of sexual orientation. It is more a matter of style.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been going out with a woman for almost a year and we are very much in love. I proposed to her more than a month ago and she has accepted. The problem is how she hasn’t told her mother yet. Everything is cool with my parents, and we’ve actually been planning stuff for the wedding with them, but she’s afraid to tell her mother, because, first of all, her mom has never been very supportive of our relationship.

I think that the main reason for this is that she (the mother) is a single parent, and Sarah is her only child. They’re really close, and the idea of losing her daughter may be really scary. But Sarah’s got to tell her mother sometime, and she keeps putting it off. Is there anything that I can say or do about this? It’s not like I’m worried this is going to interfere with the wedding or anything. I just think it’s a bad thing.

— D.T.

Dear D.T.,

You’re right — it’s not a good thing. First off, I’d be interested in knowing how old you two are. That your girlfriend is reluctant to confront her mother about this makes me to wonder if you might be rather young. Regardless of age, if you are embarking on married life, there will be many, many situations in which you have to discuss important, difficult issues. As you can see here, it’s troubling that she is avoiding talking to her mother about something that needs to be discussed.

Procrastination is a problem that most of us suffer from in varying degrees, but procrastinating about major issues, things that must be done, is most troubling. This does not bode well for the upcoming nuptials. You might actually want to slow down the wedding plans and talk very seriously about the particular things that concern you.

As far as your feeling that mom fears she’ll be losing her daughter, I think you can at least try to assure her that this is not the case. Sarah should assure her mother that this is not going to damage or be a negative for their relationship, and rather, that it expands the family. Good luck, and start encouraging Sarah to start talking with her mom immediately.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net


Issue Date: April 29 - May 5, 2005
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