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Got faith?


Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I have been seeing this guy for a month now. I am a Christian, and he is not. I feel the person I will someday marry must be of the same beliefs as me. Since I have told him this, he has been asking me all about it. I told him how this is too important for him to consider changing religions just because I asked him to. He said he agreed. Well, I am not sure he is serious about this. What would you do?

— Wondering

Dear Wondering,

What would Johnny Damon do? Only kidding. Since you’ve been seeing this guy for only a month, you should continue and see if he’s serious. Would it be bad if he is so enamored of you that he is curious about what makes you so fabulous, and thinks that your strong faith might be a key? Perhaps he would like that sort of strength in his life. Time will tell if his budding curiosity in Christianity is authentic. In the meantime, you shouldn’t be so skeptical. Let’s see what happens.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend of about five years and I are about to move 1000 miles away from home to go to school. We’ve lived together for two years before, but for the past four months, I moved back home to spend more time with my family before the move. In that time, we’ve rarely seen each other, sometimes not even once a week. And when we do, it’s a short time, because he works nights/weekends and I work days/weekdays. I feel like we’ve drifted apart, even though we talk on the phone and e-mail regularly. We spend as much time together as we can.

When we move, I’m afraid it’ll be new again for us to be living together, like we just started to know each other, and we’ll be so far from anything familiar. How should I treat this when the move comes? How can I make us like a happy couple just continuing on our life’s course? I want romance again.

— Fear of Moving

Dear Fear,

This is a big transition, from a secure and comfortable home life to a whole new situation. You and your boyfriend were separated for the past four months by circumstances more than anything, so it wasn’t as if you were drifting apart. Here’s the upside of the situation. Although it is scary, you are about to embark on a big adventure and you’ll be doing it with someone you know, love, and trust. You’re in it together and you will be able to forge a whole new life together. While Dr. Lovemonkey can understand your trepidation and fear of big changes, there is also a whole lot of excitement involved and you should focus on that. See the "opportunity" aspect of this move and embrace it.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I have this guy friend that I have been a friend with for about three years. I see a lot of chemistry going on between us. We snuggle together all the time. I finally had the guts to ask him out. He said it would not work out because of his insecurities. So, we snuggled again that night. I felt calmer than I have ever felt with anyone. It’s like every time we share that together, we get distant afterward and then he has a new girlfriend. He has said he is afraid of losing our friendship, and I have to deny what I felt. I wish he wouldn’t do this. Is he in denial?

— Wanting More

Dear Wanting,

No, but I think you might be. If he’s actively involved with other girlfriends, his talk of his "insecurities" sounds a bit bogus. Stand up for yourself and look elsewhere. I think this guy is jerking you around, and you are so infatuated that you can’t see it. Start looking elsewhere, because this one’s not for you

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net


Issue Date: March 4 - 10, 2005
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