Cash cow

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I was recently reading another love advice column in the daily newspaper and came upon a letter written by someone whose situation had to do with the fact that she was rather wealthy. In signing her letter, she identified herself as "Bling Bling Bovine." I felt instantly sad and depressed that someone would have such a low self-esteem that she would refer to herself as "Bling Bling Bovine." I think that what this shows is that just having wealth and lots of material comforts will not necessarily make you happy. What do you think?

— Ellen

Dear Ellen,

I think that you are spending entirely too much time pondering the life and times of Ms. Bling Bling Bovine. Have you ever considered the possibility that the name is not the result of "low self-esteem," but perhaps a joke? It could be. Anyway, I would suggest that you, with the perfectly fine name of Ellen, pay no heed to how there might be people in this world identifying themselves as Rolex Monkeypaw, Aluminum Siding Lass, Sir Henry Armpit-Carrot, or Bling Bling Bovine, even when their letters are printed in the newspaper.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

In this world, where youth and being young are the only topics, does a 43-year-old women have a chance? When I turned 40, I felt like I didn’t fit on this planet. I gave up on dating because I thought, "What’s the use — I’m too old and no one will be interested." I put on a good act of happiness to the outside world. I make up excuses as to why I can’t go out of the house for socializing. I work and come home, and that’s all. So, can you tell me if there is any hope in this youth-oriented world?

—Over the Hill

Let me suggest that you are embracing a very bad attitude. You are allowing your worldview to be shaped by the priorities of the marketing people whose sole purpose is to sell stuff. Take a walk down the street, to a supermarket, or somewhere else where other people congregate. Do they all look like they just walked out of a perfume ad in Vanity Fair? Dr. Lovemonkey seriously doubts it.

There is a big world out there. There are many interesting, attractive, intelligent people over the age of 40 (even over 50, 60, and older). They are not hard to find, but you have bought into this bogus media/marketing view that is not only self-limiting but false. Perhaps you are sad because you are no longer 23 and swinging around with Bling Bling Bovine and Rolex Monkeypaw. There’s plenty of life out there and all you need is to change your attitude.

Dear Dr.Lovemonkey,

I have been involved with a wonderful woman for more than four years. The other night she woke me up and told me that I had to go, so I left. I spoke to her on the phone recently and she says she told her mother that she stills loves me, and is "still in love with the person I used to be." I am not exactly sure what that means, as I don’t see where I have changed. She had decided that she needs six months to one year to get her life together. I have never cheated on her or abused her. I just don’t get it. I know that she has not met anyone else, so my question is, do I hang on and keep trying, or do I just give up?

— Thrown for a Loop

Dear Thrown,

Frequently, when people are unhappy like your girlfriend is, it is because she is disappointed and unhappy with the person that she has become, not something with you. Don’t hang on, but allow her the time she wants to get her life in order. In the meantime, get on with your life. Stay in touch, but be open to other relationships and experiences. If you have any future together, it will only be after she’s happy with herself, and that will probably take some time.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net