Full disclosure

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little more than a year. Although we have not discussed marriage, it is obvious that we are getting closer and more serious. It makes sense to me. Here’s my problem: I’m concerned about telling him about a few things from my past, and I just wonder what one needs to reveal to their prospective partner. For instance, what if I had some sort of pre-existing health condition that could impact my life expectancy or that of a child? What about an abortion? I did have an abortion many years ago. Is it mandatory to discuss absolutely everything? I could use a little guidance on this.

— Wanting To Do The Right Thing

Dear Wanting,

Dr. Lovemonkey does not think it is mandatory to tell your spouse everything. For instance, what useful purpose would it serve for you to discuss former boyfriends or sexual relationships? Neither you nor your boyfriend needs to discuss every element of your past. So, in terms of the abortion, I do not believe it is necessary for you to talk about that now. On the other hand, the health concern is different. If one has some sort of health condition with the potential for shortening one’s life, or something that might affect a child, it should be openly discussed.

The general rule is that if things in your past will not have serious ramifications for the future, it is not necessary to divulge them. But anything else with implications for the future (like the health condition, the existence of an evil twin, or how you once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die), should be discussed.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am the father of two sons, ages 15 and 17. I have been watching the news quite closely lately, and I have a great fear that the war on terrorism is more like the Cold War than any other wars we have fought. In other words, this war is not going away since we are not fighting nation-states, but an ideology.

My concern is for my sons. In recent months, I’ve heard a number of public officials suggest that we seriously consider bringing back the draft. I guess this is because our all-volunteer armed forces seem stretched so thin between Iraq and Afghanistan, and all the other trouble spots in the world.

While we must counter the terrorist threats, I believe that the invasion of Iraq was a complete miscalculation and mistake. I am worried for my sons, particularly with this particular crowd in the White House. I do not trust that they know what they are doing. They seem to be as ideologically driven as the terrorists. What do you think the chances are that the draft will be reinstated?

— Worried in Warren

Dear Worried in Warren,

This is a bit far afield for Dr. Lovemonkey. I thought that you were going to tell me that your teen-aged sons were shoplifting "marital aids" or something.

Personally, I don’t believe that the draft will be reinstated. My belief (and one that officials will probably not acknowledge) is that we moved to a volunteer army, in part, to blunt anti-war activity. Notice how quiet the campuses are, compared with what it was like during the Vietnam era? If the draft is re-instituted, you’d see a raging anti-war movement almost overnight. You’d see lots of people who, because they have not had friends or family thrust into military service (and therefore, have not been paying close attention), wanting to suddenly know more about what our government is doing. It’s easier to operate in secret without the draft, and the Bushies definitely want to operate in secret.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net