Not making out

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been hanging out at a few clubs recently, but have not been very successful at meeting any women. I was wondering if you knew of any surefire pick-up lines that I might use. I’m a reasonably good-looking guy, but I just can’t seem to get to first base with anyone.

— Bob

Dear Bob,

Dr. Lovemonkey doesn’t know of any "surefire pick-up lines." The Doctor’s sense is that there is no such thing. Your belief that there is may indicate your problem. If you meet someone who you find nice, attractive, and interesting, you should show your interest. Ask the person about herself, and show real interest because you have real interest in her as a person. Honest interest in another person as a human being works because it is real. Trying to pick someone up is shallow and it shows.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

A few years ago, I decided to check out the HBO show Sex and the City since everyone was talking about it. Now that it has ended, I notice that everyone is talking about it again, and I just don’t understand the phenomenon. It was about just a group of shallow women hanging around New York and going to every party that they could. They seemed obsessed with shoes, clothes, and meeting men. How in the world does a show like this "register" with so many women? The thought of this is quite alarming to me. Am I missing something?

— Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering,

Although some of the things that you describe are true, the friendship that these women characters had with one another seems to be the most salient element of the show. The way in which these women bonded with each other resonated with people. Sex and the City was essentially about a group of friends. Perhaps watching it for a longer period would have helped you to appreciate this essential element.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m a college freshman, and for the past few months, I’ve been running into this guy a lot. His name is Tim. Tim seems to be a really great guy, and though he’s friendly, I would really like to get to know him better. Friends say he’s got a girlfriend, but he’s been known to flirt a bit with other women. I would really like to figure out some way to get him to notice me and flirt with me a bit. Do you have any suggestions?

— Interested

Dear Interested,

He’s got a girlfriend. Maybe your friends have mistaken his friendliness for flirting, maybe not. Let’s see. You’d like him to get involved with you, which would mean that he would be unfaithful toward his girlfriend. Is that it? Someone willing to do this would not seem worthy of trust. Do you want to get involved with an untrustworthy person who is willing to treat his girlfriend badly by straying with someone else? I don’t think so. Forget about Tim and try meeting someone who is unattached and available.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net