The hitch

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

For the last four months, I have been involved with an absolutely wonderful man. We are very close and it seems that he is about ready to "pop the question." I can sense this, but there seems to be a hold-up related to his ex-girlfriend. They broke up a couple of years ago, and it wasn’t a particularly bad break up. The thing is, she had cancer and died last month. My boyfriend was extremely broken up about this. This has affected him very strongly, and he talks about her death on a regular basis.

It hasn’t really changed our relationship, but I am concerned that he seems so moved by her death. I can’t help but wonder how this is impacting our relationship and if he’s ready, as we’ve discussed before, to get married. My question is, should I be concerned? Should I have second thoughts about our relationship?

— J.M.

Dear J.M.,

Different people mourn in different ways. Obviously, this was someone whom he was close to. Dr. Lovemonkey does not want to sound cruel, but someone who is deceased can not be considered a major romantic rival. Perhaps if your boyfriend and his ex had been married for decades that might be the case, but it isn’t. He needs to mourn, so let him. Everything sounds reasonable to me, and I wouldn’t worry.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I was watching the Super Bowl, and could hardly see anything when Justin Timberwolf (or whatever his name is) ripped off Janet Jackson’s vest. I wasn’t exactly disappointed, because I, like most Americans, have seen more than enough of Janet Jackson’s chest over the years. And that goes double for sister LaToya.

What I am curious about is that guy Nelly, who seemed to keep grabbing his dick every couple of seconds while he was on stage. Is this some sort of new choreographed dance move or what? I don’t know what to make of it.

— Perplexed in Pascoag

Dear Perplexed,

Dr. Lovemonkey’s suspicion is that Nelly was grabbing at his dick just to make sure it was there. Either that or he saw the commercial earlier in the game in which a small dog put the bite on some poor guy’s unit. Whatever the reason, Dr. Lovemonkey hopes that Nelly and his dick continue to enjoy life together.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey

I’ve been following the Democratic presidential competition closely because my attitude is, "Anyone except Bush." This whole issue of electability is an important one for me. My best friend suggests that John Edwards would be most electable, because he’s from the South and doesn’t have a long government record for the Republicans to negatively exploit. But my friend keeps talking about how "cute" Edwards is, and I think she is biased because of this. What do you think?

— B.B.

Dear B.B.,

Dr. Lovemonkey believes one should always vote for that candidate that one finds cutest, forgetting about such confusing distractions as policy positions, experience, and character. That’s why the doctor is going for Dennis Kucinich. Short gnome-like guys really turn me on.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net