Territorial pissing

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

Recently, my boyfriend and I were walking around the streets of Providence, enjoying the unseasonably warm weather and nice surroundings when, suddenly, he pointed out that one of the disgraceful graffiti "tags" we’d seen was his. I immediately broke up with him for being an asshole. Is this wrong?

— Just Trying To Keep My Home Nice

Dear Just Trying,

Breaking up with him is the right thing to do — not because he is or once was an active tagger, but since he’s stupid enough to point it out to you. If you’ve been seeing each other for a while, he should be familiar with your likes and dislikes, aesthetic judgments, and attitudes on public art vs. vandalism. That he seems to have no sense of this leads me to believe that he is thoughtless or dumb. Either way, you are better off without him.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

We’ve been reading about the sham wedding of Britney Spears and a friend of hers in Las Vegas. Her spokesperson describes it as "a joke that went too far." My concern is that someone so popular with younger girls would do something so irresponsible. Do you think this is appropriate behavior for a teen role model?

— Concerned Parent

Dear Concerned Parent,

Actually, "a joke that went too far" is an accurate description of Ms. Spears’s career to date. Indeed, this bad behavior probably will be a negative influence on some of the younger people who see Ms. Spears as an attractive celebrity. For parents of younger kids who might select television and film performers, professional athletes, recording artists, or whatever Paris Hilton is supposed to be as "role models," I’d suggest talking to them about what a role model really is. Being talented/successful/rich is well and good, but you must show your kids that what you most admire is character, honesty, and a strong moral compass.

These traits are often not detectable in celebrities, not because stars necessarily lack them, but since it’s not what gets promoted. These qualities can be best observed in people you actually know and have contact with in real life. So, tell your kids to look for role models among those close to you — a relative, teacher, or someone in your neighborhood who frequently exhibits admirable qualities.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My son and his buddies are in high school, and they’re starting to bet on football games. I have read enough about gambling to realize this could easily get out of hand and ruin his life. When I tell him that gambling can become an addictive behavior, like alcohol and drugs (things that, thankfully, he hasn’t tried and shows no interest in), he just laughs and tells me I’m overreacting. Any suggestions on what I can do to get this point across?

— Worried Dad

Dear Worried Dad,

Dr. Lovemonkey is no expert on gambling (or anything else, for that matter). Like you, however, the doctor knows and has seen enough to understand how many lives have been ruined by gambling. I’d suggest checking your local library for some of the literature on its addictive qualities. Your son may not believe you, but there is certainly enough information on the subject. You might also mention how what he’s doing is illegal and that people have been fined and imprisoned for gambling. You are right to be concerned. If things continue this way, you might want to set up an appointment with your son and a therapist.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net.