Close quarters

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My girlfriend has insisted that we go to her parents’ house for the holidays, and although I don’t really have a problem with them (they are very nice people), they have a problem with us. They insist that we stay in separate rooms, even though we’ve been living together for more than two years. They have a lot of other "house rules" that make it seem oppressive to visit, and it just seems that they’re not willing to deal with the reality of our relationship. Is there anything we can do to make this work a little better?

— Frustrated in Providence

Dear Frustrated,

Unfortunately for you, it is their house, and therefore, their rules rule (so to speak). If you can’t bear to spend an evening in separate bedrooms, you can always book a nearby motel/hotel. My suggestion, though, is to suck it up for the day or couple of days that you will be there. I’m sure you’ve talked to your girlfriend about this, and I suspect that she has indicated her willingness to make small sacrifices to spend time with her family. It’s no big deal, and it’s not anything that has to do with "principle," either. So just suck it up and you’ll be fine.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been married to my husband for almost five years. In the past six months, he has decided he has to have massages all the time, so, on a weekly basis, he’s been going to this same massage parlor. He tells me that the massage therapist there is excellent and he feels much better since going to her. Last week, however, I saw in the newspaper that this massage parlor has been raided, and some of the "masseuses" have been arrested for prostitution.

This has caused a great deal of consternation at home. I’ve told my husband that I think something is rotten in Denmark, but he claims his masseuse is not one of those arrested and that everything is on the up and up. Should I put my foot down and demand he not go for massages anymore, or does what he is saying make sense? I don’t know if I sound naïve, but I think there’s a problem here.

— Lou

Dear Lou,

If the "massage parlor" has been raided, there’s certainly a bit of a problem. It does not sound like what one would call a "reputable establishment." Tell your husband you think the business is suspect, and that if he’s truly in need of regular massages, he should be able to find another practitioner. There are lots of them around, and I doubt there’s just one person who can take care of his back. Tell him you expect that he’ll stay away from this suspect establishment and find another place for him to get his massages. Yes, the whole thing is a bit questionable, but I’d give him an opportunity to redeem himself. You might also suggest that he find a qualified male message therapist. This would put your mind at ease. If he is adamant about seeing the same masseuse at this questionable establishment, perhaps you should accompany him to see what is so magical about her.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net.