Tender trap

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am a 28-year-old-woman and I’ve been able to lose 60 pounds over the last year. I’m feeling good about myself and looking forward to getting into a relationship. Recently, a good friend of mine fixed me up with someone and we went out together a couple of times.

The problem is that I’m not attracted to this guy at all. He’s called a few times and also e-mailed me. I really don’t want to hurt his feelings, and I’m also concerned that if I blow this, it’ll be a long time before I will get together with anyone. What should I do?

— In Turmoil

Dear In Turmoil,

Nobody likes to hurt anyone’s feelings, but you’re not attracted to this person. So just tell him you’re not interested in seeing him anymore. You’re young, good things are happening in your life, and you shouldn’t be feeling the desperation that you seem to be experiencing. Things can only get better, and since you know this person is not for you, just move on. He’ll get over it quicker than you think.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

This is an odd situation. I have been going with a great guy for two years and we are talking about marriage. He lives with his parents, but — get this — his ex-girlfriend of six years also lives at his parents’ house. Although I know he doesn’t have any sort of romantic relationship with her and that he has been true to me, it’s awkward to say the least. She’s been living there for a few years. It seems to me that I can’t make demands on his family about this, but what can I do?

— J.M.

Dear J.M.,

This really is a weird situation. All I can say is that after two years you should have a pretty good idea of what your boyfriend is like. You should talk to him about your discomfort with the situation, but if you believe in him, love him, and are convinced that he loves you too, you’ll just have to live with it.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My ex-girlfriend is a real jerk. She lied to me while we were together and cheated on me as well. I happen to know that she has a long record of such behavior. Recently, she started going out with a guy who I’ve met but don’t really know. He seems like a good guy, so I’d like to warn him about her. How would you advise that I go about doing this?

— Jimbo

Dear Jimbo,

This comes under the heading of "None of your business." Even if you were to tell this guy what you think, chances are he would write off your warnings as the ravings of a jilted lover. Stay out of it. He’ll find out for himself.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

There appears to be some hanky-panky going on at my workplace. The receptionist has been spending an inordinate amount of time with one of the salesmen. It seems to me (and a few other people in the office) that they are having an affair. He’s married and I feel so bad for his wife. I’m not sure if I should say something to anyone about this situation.

— Offended

Dear Offended,

Once again, this is none of your business. You don’t have what I would call solid proof, and while it may be likely that an affair is going on, it’s not your business unless you’re related to or close friends with the wife. You might want to take the salesman aside and tell him that people in the office are talking. Perhaps he’ll change his ways.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net