In the middle

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am 19 years old. I went out with a guy for more than a year, but we broke up. It has been very difficult, but I thought I overcame it and started going out with another guy about four months ago. The problem is that I have strong feeling for both of them. I am not sure what to do. While my ex does not seem interested in me, and things are really going well with my current boyfriend, I just can’t let go of my feelings for the ex. I know it sounds pathetic, but I still think that things could work out. My ex hasn’t hooked up with anyone else that I know of.

I have this incredibly mixed feeling about the whole thing. I don’t want to give up the feelings that I have for my ex, but at the same time, I don’t want to let go of what I have with my current lover. Is there any way I can tell which is the right way to go with this? I am extremely confused. Please help.

— Confused

Dear Confused,

It is not unusual to have strong feelings about two different people. This happens and it happens quite frequently. You are only 19, and therefore, Dr. Lovemonkey would suggest that you take your time and maintain good relations with both guys, continuing to see them both and letting both know that you haven’t really made up your mind. Which one you prefer (or perhaps someone completely different) will eventually come to you. Take it easy and enjoy life.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I recently wrote and had published a letter to the editor that was highly critical of Regis Philbin, the television personality. Since then, I have become persona non grata in my small New England town. What is the deal? Regis Philbin is a New Yorker, not a New Englander, so why do people around here feel so protective? I’d like to know what the proper response would be to these people who seem intent on harassing me because of my opinion.

— Can’t Believe It

Dear Can’t Believe It,

Move — preferably to another solar system.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

The guy who lives across the street from me frequently leaves his window curtains open, and I occasionally see him walking around his house naked. Is there any way I can tell him that I find this highly inappropriate?

— A.M.

Dear A.M.,

Do your best to avoid looking in that direction. If this is a case where it is a regular, constant occurrence, give some thought to calling the authorities. But, if as you describe, it’s only occasional, it could be that you’re spending a bit too much time scoping out activities in his house. Please train yourself to avert your eyes.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend is a vegan and regularly orders salads at restaurants. Unfortunately, he has sworn off all utensils and prefers to eat with his hands. He says he considers utensils a bourgeois affectation. This is getting to be a little embarrassing. Any suggestions on how I can get him to improve his table manners?

— Jane

Dear Jane,

You can always start running around on all fours, and when he questions you on it, explain that you find walking on one’s hind legs to be a bourgeois affectation.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net.