Lies and damned lies
BY PHILLIPE & JORGE
P&J have been pointing out for weeks that the Bushies will say
anything, regardless of whether it has any resemblance to the truth, to help
sell their war with Iraq, and yet the major media outlets have given them a
free pass. Finally, on October 22, Washington Post reporter Dana Milbank
took the bullshitters by the horns and exposed their strategy of lying, with a
story headlined, "For Bush, Facts are Malleable." (Five days later, the Urinal
finally ran the story on page A-19, under the headline, "Bush joins long line
of exaggerators." Nice quick pick-up, gang.)
New York Times columnist Paul Krugman piled on with good humor after
Milbank's report, invoking Monty Python's famed dead parrot sketch, in which a
shopkeeper (played by Michael Palin) tries to convince a customer (John Cleese)
that the Norwegian blue parrot he just bought isn't dead, even though its claws
have been nailed down to keep it upright. The bird was simply "resting after a
long squawk." To which Cleese replies, "This parrot is pushing up the daisies .
. . He's joined the choir invisible . . . This is a late parrot!"
Although Dubya's lies are no more credible than the Palin's excuses, we're
going to end up in a war with Iraq -- built on a foundation of lies -- unless
more of the major media types call the Bushies' bluffs and outright
prevarications. Remind anyone of a certain gulf in Vietnam? Well, an October 22
article in the Boston Herald by Stephanie Schorow exposes even more
delusions, as Georgie Boy described his remembrances of 9/11:
President Bush was at a town meeting in Florida in December, 2001. A third
grader asked: `How did you feel when you heard about the terrorist
attack?
The president: "Thank you, Jordan. Well, Jordan, you're not going to
believe what state I was in when I heard about the terrorist attack. I was in
Florida. [On September 11, Bush was visiting the Booker Elementary School to
promote literacy programs.] And my chief of staff, Andy Card -- actually, I was
in a classroom talking about a reading program that works. I was sitting
outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower --
the TV was obviously on. And I used to fly, myself, and I said, well, there's
one terrible pilot. I said, it must have been a horrible accident.
"But I was whisked off there, I didn't have much time to think about it.
And I was sitting in the classroom, and Andy Card, my chief of staff, who is
sitting over here, walked in and said, `A second plane has hit the tower,
America is under attack.' "
Think about that. Bush's remark implies he saw the first plane hit the
tower. But we all know that video of the first plane hitting did not surface
until the next day. Could Bush have meant he saw the second plane hit -- which
many Americans witnessed? No, because he said that he was in the classroom when
Card whispered in his ear that a second plane hit.
Sleep tight, America, Dubya's fully in charge. There's one terrible pilot.
Home for the holidays
A longtime friend of P&J's whose daughter is at Yale reports
attending a student play at the university, where he was delighted to see one
of Dubya's twin daughters, Barbara, seated just a few rows in front of him. He
was further pleased to see her doing a little necking during the play with her
boyfriend. But the kicker is that Barbie's beau happens to be a young
African-American.
We imagine this will play extremely well within the scope of the
oh-so-tolerant Bush family, and certainly hope that Babs is inviting the friend
home to that bastion of diversity, the Crawford Ranch, for Thanksgiving. Talk
about guess who's coming to dinner! Although Kennebunkport, where grandparents
Poppy and Bar's compound is located, is a bit closer to New Haven, a friend
points out should the nubile young Barbara leave the driving to her paramour,
they won't get 100 yards past the first Maine toll booth before being pulled
over.
Five more days
It's less than a week before election day and, those who faithfully read
this column should have no doubt as to where we stand. It's time to change
Halitosis Hall into the House of Myrth. While Enron Don makes an appealing
figure in television commercials, we need the combination of accountability,
intelligence, and compassion that only Myrth can deliver. That the Republicans
try to paint her as one of the good ol' boys is patently ridiculous. She lost
twice before because the good ol' boys sat on their hands, knowing that it
won't be business as usual with Myrth. It's Myrth's time and we need her.
Jack Reed . . . fuhgeddaboutit! He's truly the little giant and should win
handily as he well deserves. Charlie Fogarty, Matt Brown, and Paul Tavares are
all thumbs up at Casa Diablo, and while we congratulate Dave Rogers on a feisty
campaign, Patrick Kennedy votes the right way far more often than not. When
he's stirred, Patrick can be a rousing voice for those without a voice.
Jim Langevin is also a solid congressman and deserves re-election. And we're
all waiting with breathless anticipation to see what happens in Pawtucket with
Bayuk and Hardwood, as well as whether the Republicans can actually make some
serious inroads in the General Assembly. What we really long for, though, is an
end to all the tedious campaign commercials on television, so we can get back
to the equally tedious standard ads for products and services. At least they
have better soundtracks than the ponderous piano music (minor key for attack
ads, major key for those extolling the virtues of the candidate) of the
campaigns.
Our favorite laugh of the season came in a campaign handout from a city
council race in Cranston (we won't mention your name, Johnny) that featured
photos of the candidate with Al Gore and Rudy Giuliani, accompanied by text
reading, "Whether it's discussing leadership roles with former Vice President
Al Gore or former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani . . . " We're sure that
these 10-second photo ops, taken during campaign stops, afforded a lot of time
for the discussion of leadership roles.
The party's over
Your superior correspondents have many friends who insist that the deaths of
notables always occur in threes. While we're not necessarily superstitious
about such things, three people who were greatly admired at Casa Diablo did
pass away last week. Most horrible, of course, was the air crash death of
Senator Paul Wellstone, his wife, daughter, two staffers, and two pilots. From
our political perspective, Wellstone was perhaps the most courageous,
progressive, and valuable member of the United States Congress. No one in the
Senate or House could match his strong voice for peace and justice and he is
simply irreplaceable.
(Kudos to Wellstone's family for making it clear to the unspeakable vice
president and Senate president pro tem, Dick "Big Time" Cheney, that his odious
presence would not be welcome at the Wellstone memorial service, due to his
backroom politicking against the late liberal.)
The traditional Pernod and grapefruit will also be hoisted in memory of
Richard Harris, the boisterous Irish actor, who, along with Burton and O'Toole,
kept the alcoholic beverage industry of the British Isles in the bucks for most
of the '60s and '70s. We'll miss those twinkling eyes.
And finally, the great Adolph Green, composer, along with his longtime
songwriting partner, Betty Comden, of the aforementioned "The Party's Over" and
many other memorable tunes, also passed away this week. Seventeen years ago,
Jorge attended the wedding of some friends, Randy Freed and Bridget LeRoy in
New York (alas, they eventually split up). Bridget comes from show biz royalty
(the Warner Brothers, Mervyn LeRoy) and there were plenty of show biz folks in
attendance. Jorge ran into Alan King, Morley Safer, Yoko Ono, Sean Lennon, and
many other familiar faces, but it was Adolph Green who was way coolest. The man
responsible for "New York, New York, what a wonderful town," was a swell guy
and an inimitable entertainer.
Kudos and congrats . . .
. . . to Channel 12's Jack White for breaking the story about how Balbina
Young, acting city council president in Providence, used more than $100,000 in
city bond funds to relocate an East Side home to her South Side neighborhood
and then arranged for her son and his wife to live there. The problem is bigger
than Young's family housing program. Two years ago, the Phoenix's Steve
Stycos detailed numerous questionable expenditures by members of the Providence
City Council.
Under a politicized and highly arbitrary system in which each council member
is allocated $2.2 million to spend as they see fit from a $50 million city bond
issue, city bonds had been used to hire an assistant principal at a private
school, renovate a church hall, and buy patio furniture for an American Legion
post. Steve's story (at
providencephoenix.com/archive/features/00/10/26/bond.html) also detailed how
Young funneled $72,000 in bond money to renovate a city-owned building, across
from Classical High School, on Broad Street. The building was then sold for $1
to the owner of Miss Fannie's Soul Food Kitchen. Young used $2995 more in bond
funds to provide a phone system for Oasis Community Development Federal Credit
Union, which has since gone bankrupt.
P&J must commend Young for her excellent impersonation during White's
report of George Washington Plunkett, protagonist of the legendary book,
Plunkett of Tammany Hall, which is all about shady political deals and
corruption. "Well, what I think is here are a lot of good deals in America for
a lot of people," Ms. Young said. "Why shouldn't my son be the beneficiary of
one of them?" Boss Tweed is smiling in that big smoke-filled room in the sky.
. . . to Mike Ryan, executive veep of Narragansett Electric, longtime Biggest
Little political and PR mover and shaker, and member of more prestigious boards
of directors than you've had hot dinners, for being named chairman of Grow
Smart Rhode Island. And a further nod to outgoing chair Jim Dodge, founder of
Grow Smart, which has become an outstanding and influential voice for wise
planning and the revitalization of our urban neighborhoods.
. . . to Charlton Heston, president of the National Rifle Association, for
being stupid enough to do his wild-eyed, Moses-manque, rifle-waving speech at
the height of the sniper crisis. Great timing, Chuck -- that drew a lot of
public support for the NRA at a time when children and innocents were being
shot and killed.
Send Twizzlers and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.
Issue Date: November 1 - 7, 2002
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