The Providence Phoenix was finally dragged into court as a punch
line last week. The occasion was when prosecution witness Anthony Freitas
claimed he was angry that there was no legal advertisement for school rental
properties in the BeloJo. He said someone told his wife that there was an ad in
the "Love Connection section of the Providence Phoenix," eliciting big
laughs in the courtroom. But his statement, of course, wasn't true. Our
publisher, Steve Brown, who was sitting in the overflow area when the statement
was made, knew the ad ran in our legal notices section. Just another faux pas
among the many provided by prosecution witnesses.
That said, we must say that no matter what the Bud-I's fate, the sleaze that
has already been admitted in this trial indicates serious systemic problems in
Our Little Towne. At the very least, this is an integrity-challenged
administration. Does anyone really believe the parade of towing company owners,
who claimed that they didn't feel threatened, but decided it was a good idea to
pony up illegal contributions to the mayor's election campaigns anyway? The
former police chief acknowledged giving promotional test answers to favored
candidates. The school department and tax offices are riddled with liars and
crooks.
The Bud-I might not be technically guilty (and we hope he isn't), but the fact
is that, with all the great things he has done, this is no way to run a city.
If he's unaware of what's going on, he's been asleep at the wheel. Any way you
look at it, there's culpability here. He hired or appointed all these people
who have slimed our city.
And, now that we know what we know, despite our admiration for his visionary
leadership, the Bud-I must bear responsibility for the ugly side as well.
Providence is moving in two directions at once. The city needs to be on a
single high road and we seriously question if the Bud-I's the guy who can take
us there. We've had enough.
Get your Free Buddy shirts
Your superior correspondents spoke with Heather Conover the other day. Along
with husband Ray, she is the entrepreneur behind the "Free Buddy" T-shirts.
Heather tells us they've pretty much sold out of their first run of shirts
after a spate of college graduation ceremonies in the Biggest Little. "It seems
that everyone who was coming into town picked one up," she explains. "We've
just past the break-even point now."
Regardless of how one feels about the mayor, this shirt will be a classic
piece of Vo Dilun memorabilia. Although the only retail outlets for the shirts
are the Army/Navy store on Thayer Street in Providence and East Greenwich
Photo, the Conovers are primarily selling them through a Web site,
www.freebuddyshirt.com.
Ray and Heather are new at the casual wear game. He's in real estate and she's
a stay-at-home mom (son Calvin is eight months old). And in classic Rhody
fashion, Heather is the stepdaughter of another flamboyant political figure,
former Governor Bruce Sundlun. She tells us that regardless of the trial's
outcome, they have ideas for a second line of shirts.
Power Rangers
The idea from GOP gubernatorial candidate Jimmy Bennett may not have been an
original one, as our old pal M. Chuckie Bakst bruited it in his BeloJo column a
few weeks back, but it was nonetheless a good one and produced
results. P&J are referring, of course, to the need for both parties'
gubernatorial hopefuls to publicly come out swinging against the (failed)
notorious "power grab" section of the budget bill, which would have extended
the grasp of the always greedy General Assembly to even more executive branch
authority.
Bennett targeted one of the Democratic candidates for guv, Attorney General
Sherbet Whitebread, in a press conference attacking the measure, while
continuing his call for separation of powers in Rhode Island. That is a
dog which will definitely hunt, P&J believe, as the public is so sick of
bent egomaniacs like Senate Majority Leader Billy "Little Napoleon" Irons and
the unspeakable speaker, Pucky Harwood, that the idea of giving them more
control of government was nauseating. Since Little Napoleon has a
"Whitehouse for Governor" bumper sticker on his car, Jimmy said Sherbet should
run over and tear it off unless he agreed with the obscene attempt by Irons and
Harwood to take over hiring and, in effect, budget matters of the executive
branch.
Bennett was correct about Sherbet's need to avoid any link to Irons, much as
Bakst argued that the people who seek to inherit the Missing Linc's empty chair
should have been at Halitosis Hall weeks ago, advocating on separation of
powers and similar issues. But Whitebread has argued long and loud for
separation of powers, serving at times as a voice in the wilderness. On the eve
of the final budget vote, he quickly and forcefully stepped into fray again,
sending letters to Pucky and Little Nappy saying that he would tell his fellow
state officers -- wake up, Bigfoot, he's talking about you -- to ignore the
power grab as unconstitutional.
Nappy tried to gloss over getting caught drooling over the idea of having even
more power than he warrants, saying, "We made a mistake." But this was the
typical reaction of a bully who gets slapped in the face by one of the people
he's picking on. His incredibly disingenuous and condescending remark -- "I
feel very bad for the citizenry who were led to believe this was a power grab"
-- shows the utmost disdain for voters. Don't worry about feeling bad about us,
Billy. You can't imagine how bad we already feel for ourselves, knowing that
Pucky and you are in charge.
Roasting Rodriguez
Save the date of June 14. That's when the RI Latino Civic Fund while be holding
a fundraiser, a roast of Dr. Pablo Rodriguez, physician, community activist,
philanthropist and all-around good guy. The fund is a non-profit, non-partisan
organization devoted to fostering civic participation, voter registration, and
education in Vo Dilun's Latino community. Your superior correspondents are on
board as "Masters of Ceremony and Protocol," as we salute Pablo as our
Outstanding Citizen of Rhode Island.
This event is structured differently from most roasts and we expect mucho
laughs. It's all happening at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Warwick, kicking off
with cocktails at 6 p.m. and featuring hot music from Oscar Stagnaro and his
Latin band. Don't miss this one!
Helpless
If you're looking for words to describe the Boy George Bush administration, at
least ones that can be spoken in polite society, P&J think "Can't do" is
just the ticket.
Just weeks after being told by Vice President Dick Cheney, that terribly safe
and in an undisclosed location Rasputin, and FBI director (as we went to press)
Robert Mueller, that America should count on being the target of more terrorist
attacks. Well, frankly, there was little we could do about it, we were told,
except pick a color from Tom Ridge's pile of M&Ms and run it up the
flagpole, and then we have Dubya the Dumb's pronouncements to the United
Nations on global warming.
First, all you need to know is that Junior's required report to the UN was
published without even a press release to extol its findings, shipped over to
the UN East River headquarters in New York City in a plain brown envelope, one
suspects. The Can't Do administration finally warmed to the task of recognizing
that we are indeed facing the consequences of human-induced global climate
change, which will significantly alter the world's ecosystems, especially those
along the coast. (In case you don't get it, that means Vo Dilun, boys and
girls. Buy your rubber boots now).
The response from Dubya & Co.? Learn to live with it!! In other words,
we'd rather play Russian roulette with the future existence of Planet Earth
than inconvenience the uber-rich and the way they make their money. And let's
not suggest to our citizens that the implications of dramatic climate change
might perhaps mean effecting a few changes in our irresponsible lifestyles.
Well, it's too late to do anything, so let's just get on as best we can, and
make the most of it. This fits perfectly with Junior's bogus "Clear Skies"
campaign, which consists of, "Now, listen Big Energy, Big Oil and Big Coal, I
want you to stop polluting right now! Or, maybe later. Oh, OK, if you can't do
it, you can't do it."
Irons in the fire
That flapping noise you're hearing is the loose lips of Senate Majority Leader
Bill "Nappy" Irons as they flap in the breeze. Quoted in last week's BeloJo,
Irons suggested that those pushing for the separation of powers issue were
elitists of a sort -- older, white Protestants who don't reflect the diversity
of Vo Dilun. (Apparently this is Nappy's perception of Common Cause and the RI
State Council of Churches, based, we're sure, on some fairly intensive
research.)
Responding to Irons, Burt Hoffman of Newport notes, "Although I'm no expert on
ethnic background or religious preference of either the membership of the State
Senate or Common Cause, I'd guess that Common Cause is as representative of
Rhode Island as is the State Senate. Neither group seems to have among its
membership the percentage of people of African, Asian, or Hispanic descent that
increasingly dwell in RI. But Common Cause, unlike the Senate, worked with
minority groups in a coalition seeking to provide them with fair representation
in the Senate. You, by contrast, were part of a coalition that denied them the
representation their numbers deserve."
Hoffman suggests Nappy's a bit out of touch perhaps when he denies the
existence of corruption in Vo Dilun politics, while, at the same time
supporting giant subsidies for dog racers and "Vinnie Mesolella's grandiose
plans." (Vo Dilun is clearly the only state where a chooch and cavone like
Mesolella could become a major political and economic force).
Meanwhile, the Reverend John E. Holt, executive minister of the Rhode Island
State Council of Churches, replies to Irons, saying that "the Council of
Churches membership is made up of young and old, male and female,
African-Americans, Africans, Asians, Latinos and every other ethnic group that
is represented within the rich diversity of this state and nation. The Council
also represents over 40 percent of the religious population of Rhode
Island and has an excellent relationship with our friends in the Roman
Catholic, Jewish, and Muslim communities."
Keep defending the most dubious elements of the status quo, Nappy, and you'll
soon find yourself entering that special pantheon of Legislative Legends
(Milkshake Matty Smith, Joe "Prince of Darkness" DeAngelis, George "of the
Jungle" Caruolo, Rocco "the Robot Master" Quattrocchi, "Johnny B" Bevilacqua,
etc.).
Hear no evil
P&J's Plunder Dome joke of the week:
P&J to Frank E. Corrente: You've got a bribe in your ear.
Frank E. Corrente: What?
P&J: You've got a bribe in your ear!
FEC: What?
P&J: YOU'VE GOT A BRIBE IN YOUR EAR!
FEC: I can't hear you. I've got a bribe in my ear!
Send fashion tips and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.
Issue Date: June 7 - 13, 2002
