It's bad enough that former incompetent Providence police chief Barney "The
Dinosaur" Prignano Jr. is boasting that he won't cooperate with any grand jury
probing the rigging of promotional exams for his former colleagues. Once a
stooge, always a stooge, so we shouldn't be surprised that a chief who presided
over a law enforcement circus in Our Little Towne would be anything less than
an arrogant buffoon.
More people than just Phillipe and Jorge, however, are interested in how
Barney could accumulate $170,000 worth of taxpayer-supported vacation days,
sick days, and comp time. Are we to believe that this avid golfer didn't
spend a bit of his time on the links, or on holiday? Perhaps our old
friend Attorney General Sherbet Whitebread might discuss with chief Richard
Sullivan, who was in charge of time cards at the police station over the years,
how his redoubtable predecessor managed to commit body and soul to the force at
all times. Who's zooming whom here?
Getting Lay-d
Dubya the Dumb will be gagging on more than just pretzels as the Enron story
emerges, trust us. The Enron scandal is a classic rich-get-richer,
poor-get-poorer story. We have top executives screwing employees out of
their life savings, while the execs dump their own soon-to-be-worthless stock;
a large accounting firm knowingly cooking the books and destroying evidence;
huge payoffs -- oh, excuse us -- campaign donations to curry favor and a
blind eye with Georgie the Boy and every other Republican in DC; and rich white
boys going right to the president, vice president, and cabinet members to try
to avoid getting caught screwing the pooch. Dubya's cozying up to Enron
CEO Kenneth Lay, who has shattered people's lives, will be exposed in greater
detail as time goes on, as will the influence of Lay and other Enron execs on
Dick "Big Time" Cheney's energy task force. All this was done in the name
of self-serving greed, done with Big Time and Dubya's philosophical approval.
One of the most damning allegations is that Lay knew all about the accounting
malfeasance and refused to act on it after receiving a memo indicating that
Enron's financial statements were so bogus they would have embarrassed Raymond
Patriarca's Federal Hill vending company. And how did Lay's crack team of
legal eagles react after being informed that the accounting firm of Arthur
Andersen was using numbers that wouldn't pass muster in Accounting 101?
"Because of bad cosmetics (ya gotta love it, eh folks?) there is a serious risk
of adverse publicity (wouldn't want that, would we?) and litigation (oops, that
either)." But of course this bad job of lipstick and rouge application
didn't warrant independent investigation or auditing, according to the Estee
Lauder of the legal community.
Dubya can run but he can't hide, especially when Big Time has been caught
lying about the number of times he met with Lay. Treasury Secretary Paul
O'Neill and Don Evans, commerce secretary and former Bushie campaign manager,
have been revealed to be carrying Enron's water behind the scenes. What
exactly Dubya himself has done to facilitate the massacre by Enron execs of
employees' savings has yet to be revealed, but he may have had a hand in it to
bail out his big contributors. Perhaps a touching little human interest
story per day in the New York Times, detailing what has happened to the
lives of the sold-out workers from now until the next election, would be
nice. And there are plenty of victims to fill the space between now and
then. Think you'll be getting off lightly, Mr. President? Not over
our dead bodies.
Busted
We hear from a former state police trooper that Governor Almond's driver was
recently busted. He was caught with 300 pounds of dope in the back seat.
Belo us down
Urinal deputy executive editor Carol Young's recent star turn about the Other
Paper's "contraction" (as baseball commissioner Bud Selig would call it) of its
regional bureaus was the sorriest piece of apologetic hoo-hah we've read in
ages. Is executive editor Joel Rawson too chicken to do the fan dance
himself anymore? Joel apparently feels it's necessary to shove poor Carol out
front to take the heat.
Readers should be glad to know that despite the closing of the Newport bureau,
as well as past closures in distant Massachusetts and elsewhere (and who did
Dave Reid piss off to be sent over to run the newly combined East Bay
operation?), help is on the way. Yes, the two-year "interns" -- known
affectionately on Fountain Street as "the Bics," due to their disposability --
will be carrying the news ball for all of us greenhorns who don't understand
how Rhode Island works. No, Narragansett Bay is in that direction.
Thank all gods for the likes of Scottso MacKay, Bob Kerr, M. Chuckie Bakst,
Bill Malinowski, Kathy Gregg, and other longtime stalwarts, as well as Bob
Whitcomb, Froma Harrop, and M.J. Andersen up in the editorial board room, who
maintain the paper's shrinking credibility.
On another note, we hope everyone has been enjoying ex-BeloJo reporter C.J.
"Don't call me Chris" Chivers's terrific reports from Afghanistan in the New
York Times. Great stuff. As sportswriter Bill Reynolds would say,
where can the Urinal get writers like this?
Exposing Gun Boy
Anyone susceptible to arguments that certain legislators should continue to be
able to carry guns into the State House ought to read Charlie Bakst's column of
Tuesday, January 15. This is a hot-button issue with Governor Bigfoot, Colonel
Pare of the State Police, and others who believe that only uniformed on-duty
officers should be able to be armed in the building.
The Other Paper's political columnist spoke with the main proponent of
politicians packing heat, Senator Michael Damiani, revealing the East
Providence solon to be, well, pretty much a nutbag.
Apparently, Damiani thinks it's a good idea for most citizens to be armed at
all times. In an earlier discussion with Bakst, Damiani maintained that "if
you're at the corner store to buy a quart of milk and some junkie comes in to
hold the place up," you'd look like a "moron" if you weren't able to flash a
loaded gat.
Damiani also discussed how he would react to the presence of a bank robber in
his space ("I may have to kill him."). Bakst pointed out to Damiani that he's a
"retired" police officer, but Damiani seems to feel that his retirement from
the force is a moot point. Someone oughta tell former Governors Noel, Garrahy,
DiPrete and Sundlun about this "retirement doesn't count" mentality, so they
can call up a limo at the state's expense any time they want to.
You get a real sense of how out of it Damiani is when he acknowledged to Bakst
that he once hid in a tree, with a pair of night goggles, to spy on a meeting
of supporters for former Senate majority leader Paul "Slappy" Kelly. As part of
the faction that was supporting current majority leader, Big Bill Irons, in his
successful attempt to wrest control from Kelly, Damiani apparently decided to
take it upon himself to gather intelligence for his candidate.
Bakst's column was especially impressive because he pointed out the obvious
(Damiani's dangerously close to being off his rocker) using the best evidence
available -- the lawmaker's own words and actions. What your superior
correspondents would like to know: has Senator Damiani learned anything from
the tragic death of Providence police officer Cornel Young Jr.? The idea that
the armed presence of former police officers will help State House security is
specious at best. The governor and Colonel Pare make strong and sensible
arguments. Reading what Damiani has to say in Bakst's column makes us wonder
how this guy could get elected dog catcher, let alone to the state Senate.
What's the deal with Fergie?
Last Sunday's New York Times featured a piece in its main news section
on the recent dip in popularity of US Representative Patrick Kennedy. Of
course, we here in the Biggest Little have already heard all about the recent
poll statistics indicating that Patrick's numbers have slipped, so the story
was pretty much old hat. It also indicated, quite correctly, that the strongest
potential opponent for Patrick is the state's recently departed Department of
Human Services chief, Christine Ferguson. Unlike the other announced opponents,
she has a real resume and a real record.
But Phillipe & Jorge believe that one of the key bones of contention in
the First Congressional District race will be exactly what Ferguson did
vis-a-vis crafting the state's exemplary (compared to the rest of the nation,
anyway) welfare reform program. As director of human services at the time, she
was definitely a powerful presence at the table.
But where did she stand during the negotiations? Was she one of those who
suggested and encouraged some of the more unique and visionary elements of the
final proposal, or was she an obstructionist? Might be interesting to hear what
Nancy Benoit, Teresa Paiva-Weed, Nancy Gewirtz, and others who were intimately
involved in the welfare changes have to say about Fergie's role. We bet you'll
be hearing a whole lot more about this come summer.
Odds and ends
* It's bad enough that we have to worry about anthrax, terrorists and potential
presidential assassins, but now we have to fear the errant pretzel going down
the wrong pipe. In one of the far too many news stories about President Bush's
unfortunate incident, a doctor noted that one of the problems was that the
Georgie "was not getting enough blood flow to the brain." Hasn't this been one
of the problems all along?
* According to FBI Special Agent Kevin Eaton, Utah has experienced a far
greater volume of "Osama bin Laden sightings" than any other state in the
union. The New York Post's "Page Six" suggests that this could be
because of that state's "polygamous marriages and desert climes." Police Chief
Charles Illsley reports, "We have checked out every cave in town and turned up
nothing." Might P&J suggest that Chief Illsley put in a call to the
aforementioned Senator Michael "Rambo" Damiani. Not only would he likely be up
for the assignment, we bet he'll be right at home in any cave (not to mention
on all fours).
Send pullet surprises and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.
Issue Date: January 18 - 24, 2002
