Know-nothings
BY PHILLIPE & JORGE
As always, when you send politicians to do real work, all you get is bullshit.
Case in point -- the media-challenged Tom Ridge, Dubya's smarmy, smiling
arselicker in charge of "homeland security" (is that like Home Farm
Insurance?), who spends half his day hiding under his desk, and GOP clown John
Ashcroft, our attorney general. Although they're the most clueless people in
government -- except for Poppy's offspring -- neither of these two bozos has
the guts to say to a concerned public, "I don't know."
Ridge and Ashcroft come out with only the most unexplained pronouncements of
imminent terrorist attacks and anthrax scares, needlessly alarming the public.
Meanwhile, the morons at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, who
couldn't wipe a kid's nose with a hankie, let the US get hit with an anthrax
outbreak that could have been spotted by Stevie Wonder.
Maureen Dowd got it right in the Times, pointing out that members of
the House, Senate, and Supreme Court ran for cover when anthrax was detected in
their respective mail systems, while postal workers had to take a back seat to
dogs for the Capitol police when it came to being tested. Nice priorities,
boys. As Dowd quoted one infuriated postal employee, Leslie Harris, "Why didn't
we get checked? This stuff has to move from point A to point B. The Senate is
point B. We are A. They took care of point B, but what about us? Nobody told us
nothing." Welcome to Washington, civil servant.
Meanwhile, could anything be more heinous than the way in which K Street
lobbyists and vermin like Interior Secretary Gale Norton are using the current
lack of scrutiny to gut environmental laws and promote drilling in Alaska --
all in the name of fighting the terrorist attacks? There is no lower form of
life on the planet than those who play that guilt card. Thanks be to Dubya
Bush, our noble leader. Stand down, Sonny, and let a real man or woman do the
job. Meanwhile, while don't you haul the mail?
Dumbfellas
Attorney Kevin Brill, a regular at Casa Diablo, passes along an Associated
Press item from Boston that reveals, in no uncertain terms, why "O.C.," or
organized crime, continues to fare worse than the NASDAQ. The story reported on
the indictment of seven members of the DeCologero Crew, a sub-set of the
Patriarca family, that operates out of Massachusetts' North Shore. Among those
charged are Paul "Big Paul" DeCologero, John "Big John" DeCologero Sr., John
"Little John" DeCologero Jr., and Paul "Young Paul" DeCologero.
You know the mob is truly in trouble when it can't even provide colorful
nicknames for its reputed members. Whatever happened to the glory days of
"Poochie," "Baby Shacks," "The Rifleman," "Bobo," or even "The Moron?" With
lame stuff like this, these guys will never see Joe Pesci portraying one of
them on the big screen.
The Fourth Estate
Lots of hot news in the world of journalism:
First off, the lovely, smiling, and fragrant Betty-Jo Cugini has been named
news director at Channel 10. Long our favorite female JAR-head, (don't get
testy, Taricani), B.J. had been offered this position in the past, but demurred
to stay home and be a magnificent Mom. Now that her children are in prison --
excuse us, we meant enrolled in elementary school -- B.J. will be taking the
reins at the Biggest Little's longtime TV news gorilla. Expect only quality
from our old pal.
A special kudos and congrats to the homeless waif of the local TV news,
Channel 6, for its decision to air a daily, hour-long news program in Spanish.
This began on Monday, October 29. It's incredible -- people who speak Spanish
have a different word for everything! Let's hope the culos at Channels
10 and 12 pick up on this very nice idea. (Note to WLNE brass: The address to
send the case of Jose Cuervo Gold, kids, is Casa Diablo, Our Little Towne,
RI.)
Finally, more woes on Fountain Street, where the exodus of reporters continues
because of the Belo Corporation's fight with the Providence Newspaper Guild. As
people familiar with the Phoenix's ongoing coverage of the Other Paper
are aware (don't expect the Urinal's corporate pimps to let anyone know that
they're running the paper into the ground), morale has fallen below that of
Afghan peasants. Those jumping on the recently offered buyout -- available to
those over 55 -- include South County bureau chief Gerry Goldstein, South
County reporters Ron Casinelli and Joe LaPlante, and the very qualified Prov
reporters Doane Hulick and Brian Jones -- the latter of whom BeloJo management
will be very glad to see the back of. Bob Leddy, Ed Duckworth, Bob Dick, and
Bud Barker of the sports department are also exiting en masse.
There are a number of galling bits to this dismantling of the once-proud
Urinal, which we imagine will be kept afloat by such uber-yuppies as preening
publisher Howard Sutton and deputy managing editor Peter Phipps, a whining
phony of the first water. Out-of-town control by Belo means these absentee
owners run no risk of bumping into their employees at the local market or
Little League game, so they simply cut off heads without a worry. Another
outrage is the invaluable loss of the institutional memory of the paper. Gerry
Goldstein knows more about South County than 99 percent of the people who live
there, and yet he'll replaced by some young reporter who can't find
Narragansett Beach or the Bon Vue without a map.
The same goes for guys like Bud Barker who, as one of his colleagues pointed
out to P&J, championed local coverage of high school track and field and
helped make this a whole fabric of the Urinal's reportage. Maybe executive
editor Joel Rawson can replace him with a female reporter and try to browbeat
her into submission by screaming, "You don't matter!"
See you at the National Labor Relations Board hearings, Joel.
For Joe Hector
The senseless drive-by shooting death of Joe Hector, a personable and promising
17-year-old who was gunned down on Providence's Camp Street in September, was
one of the most horrible crimes of the past year. Joe's friends and family have
chosen to honor his memory with a "Joe Hector Memorial Scholarship Fund." This
Wednesday, November 7, there will be a fundraiser at Nick-a-Nee's, at 75 South
Street in Providence's Jewelry District.
The Lonnie Gasperini Trio, Mark Cutler, the Blues Hounds, Sasquatch and the
Sick-a-billy, John Carpenter, and Joe Silver and Steve Pelligrino, will all
take part. Rudy Cheeks will emcee. There'll be raffle prizes, T-shirts and
more. It's only $5 at the door to help honor the memory of a very good young
man.
Here and there
Just to let you know that P&J's buddies are still tilting against
windmills, Meg Fidler, our longtime best friend, ex-Leo's waitress, hot babe,
and gal-about-town in New Yawk City, was featured in the New York Post
of October 26, fighting for more education funds in the Big Apple, where her
son, Jake, attends public school. While some might find the sign she's
holding a bit off-color, it's quite unlike the shy and retiring woman who
visited us this weekend, asking, "Why do dogs lick their balls?" As we blurted
out standard reply, "Because they can," she quickly added a new punch
line: "No, because they can't make a fist." Ba-boom, and that's what a
Brown education gets you.
The Found Department
Jed Arkley, owner of White Electric Coffee on 150 Broadway in Providence, one
of the cooler boho haunts in the city, tells your superior correspondents that
the folks behind the print and web magazine Found
(www.foundmagazine.com) will be stopping by this Monday, November 5 at 7 p.m.
Somewhat reminiscent of earlier gonzo art projects such as David Greenberger's
late, lamented Duplex Planet, which featured interviews and musings
with, and photographs of, the residents of the Duplex Nursing Home in Jamaica
Plain, Massachusetts. Found celebrates the world of found objects,
notes, photographs, and the assorted detritus of everyday life. Improv Jones
will also be there to perform the found play "Art and Architecture" (pages 1,
2, and 4 are all that exist).
Kudos & congrats . . .
. . . to Lieutenant Governor Charlie Fogarty, who opted to drop out of the
Democratic race for governor in 2002 by using the rarely employed device of
telling the truth. Charlie explained in a press conference on Wednesday,
October 24 (mere hours after our deadline -- thanks), that the main reason he
decided to drop out of the primary contest was money.
Charlie has done a pretty good job of raising funds for the race. But if it
came down to the wire (and with a crowded field of very good candidates like
Fogarty, "White Whitey" Whitehouse, Myrth York and Tony Pires, this is a
distinct possibility), money becomes even more important and non-millionaire
Charlie would be out of luck. Indeed, reality bites when this is the reason
that a class act like Fogarty decides to bow out, but we can at least hope that
he'll have an easy time of it in a re-election bid. We don't foresee a serious
challenge within the party and we'd expect that the Republicans will probably
come up with someone as well known and accomplished as Wendell Guappo, a name
we just made up.
. . . to the Bud-I and the Providence city solicitor's office, for finally
dropping the absurd weapons charge against Sher Singh, the man who had the
misfortune of wearing his kirpan at the Providence train station on September
12. Of course, there'll be no apology (can you spell L-I-A-B-I-L-I-T-Y?)
because, well, that's the litigious world we live in.
Send maps, flasks, and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.
Issue Date: November 2 - 8, 2001
|
